Time to wrap up Fairy Punk.

I purposely tried not to think about the ending of "Fairy Punk," trusting in my subconscious. I mean, I had a very vague idea, but I refused to look at it closer. I wanted to spin out the story for as long as if felt appropriate.

But a couple of days ago, I again seemed to be blocked for inspiration, which has been a problem now for a couple of weeks. I've managed to work my way through the blocks, but it continued to be a problem.

So at the beginning of my walk, it struck me that it was time to end this book. I'm at 75K words now, I figure it will be at least another 15K words to finish, if not more.

The minute I had that thought, lots of little details and additions to the manuscript came to me. I've spent the last couple of days filling in scenes that will help bring the book around to completion. Very gratifying. I'm always amazed that little random details I come up become important later on.

I still have a couple of more road trip chapters in mind, one more or less fleshed out, the other more vague.

But I've also pretty much worked out the rest of the book. Once I gave myself permission, it all just kind of came together. I think it will work.

This book by far has the most characters and settings and the most involved backstory of anything I've written since Faerylander. (A book that tied me in knots.) In fact, it's a bit of model for what I need to do to finish my Lander series. Mostly in the notion that I should allow myself the freedom to be a little silly and just do it.

I just spun out ideas like crazy for this book, more or less at random. I don't know if it works, but I like it, so operating on the assumption that if I like it others will like it, I'm going to complete it and put it out.

Then...I may turn to Faerylander again. If not right away, I've definitely got more of a handle on what I need to do.

I feel like I'm progressing.

Or maybe I'm just giving myself more and more permission to write the way I want to write.

Classics vs hot new thing.

For the first half of Pegasus Books' existence, I was completely dependent on the "hot new thing." Though, I never quite knew what the hot new thing was going to be until it revealed itself -- or after it became hot and I couldn't get it anymore.

So I played the game of trying to guess what the hot new thing would be, but it proved to be nearly impossible. It was hot because it was unexpected, most often.

The first comic I ever didn't order from the catalogue one some stupid title called "The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

During the same years I was riding the tiger of fads. Sports cards, non-sports cards, Magic the Gathering, black and white comics (see above TMNT's), comics (variants and flashy covers and Death's of...), beanie babies, pogs, Pokemon, and so on.

I count a good 7 of 8 fads in the first 15 years.

And then...none. I mean, there was still hot versus cold product, but the wildly exploding product lines--the kind you spend all your profits on just to keep up with--those slowly faded away.

I still find that somewhat amazing. The Past is not Prologue when it comes to retail.

Anyway, during those early years, the store's dynamic was to get new stuff in every week and hope it sold, then let it sell out and move on the the next and the next. Back issue comics and some sports card star cards helped out in the first few years, but both began to fade--first into only the "hottest" comics and stars, and then even those stopped selling, more or less. It was a constant, stressful tightrope.

Luckily, about the time all this guesswork simply became unworkable, graphic novels were introduced, and then games and toys and books became available to me. (I simply couldn't get any of those for years--not enough volume to establish accounts with book and toy and game distributors, nor would they answer my calls.) The fads funded my move into diversification, and faded just about the time I was done.

I didn't really make the strong move into boardgames and new books until just before the Great Recession, but it started paying off immediately, so I continued doing it even when business is slow. Looking back on it, it's a good thing I took the gamble, because without the new product lines we'd be hurting. (I held off on new books for years because of the Book Barn, because I didn't to hurt them but when it went out, I dived in.)

So yesterday, I was looking at the books and graphic novels and games I'd sold over the last month, and the same titles popped up that have popped up almost every month and I realized that we were finally off the roller coaster of the "hot new thing."

We have a world of "classics" we can order, especially graphic novels and games and books. As long as we keep a good selection of those in stock, we are almost guaranteed sales.

So the store is now about 1/3rd new stuff (weekly comics and graphic novels and games), 1/3 classics and 1/3 discounted and or quirky stuff.

It seems to be a viable mix, arrived at organically. Much of it wasn't possible until it was possible--that is, I tried during those first 15 years to diversify, but found it difficult. No viable book distributors or game distributors, graphic novels didn't really exist, toys were mass market almost exclusively and weren't offered to the likes of us. 

There was a moment, about 1996, when what I was selling wasn't selling enough--and I couldn't get anything else. That was probably the most alarming period in our store.

Now...I have so much good stuff to pick from, I can't really get it all. As long as the classics exist at higher levels than the store actually needs to thrive, we're in good shape.

It feels nice, especially since the particular mix of stuff I have is unlikely to be duplicated by anyone else. I get competition in one area of the store or another, but it seems to be okay. We still get enough business from regulars and tourists to do all right.

If I get a Princess Bride book in, it will sell.

If I get Settlers of Catan game in, it will sell.

If I get the Watchmen graphic novel in, it will sell.

My job is to just keep ordering them.

Not checking reviews or sales.

I've now gone a full month without checking reviews or sales.

I had no idea that I was so preoccupied with them, that just checking was taking up so much psychic space.  I feel much freer. I get the urge once in a while, but then quickly forget it.

When the books were newer, each within the first six months or so of release, it was motivating to check, because they actually did better than I expected. But books tend to fall off the table around the 4th or 5th month and it was starting to become demotivating.

I don't think I managed the release of  "The Manic Pixie Dream Girl Murders" very well. I may have chosen the wrong title and cover, hard to say. I couldn't figure out how to have it listed under more than one category (I should have been able to get two at a minimum) and I just don't think I have a handle on how to optimize the Amazon search engine.

Or maybe, self-publishing just isn't going to result in sales for me. I'm unwilling to do much in the way of self-promotion.

I'm not worrying about it, but the next book I put up, I will definitely try to do better.

Anyway, not checking has refocused my attention on where it should be--the actual writing.

The one thing I didn't foresee was that the more time I let pass without checking, the more the results would accumulate, so I suspect if I check now, it will have that much more impact.

So the only real option, in a way, is to never check at all.

I wonder if I have the willpower for that.

Tesla and nerd culture.

So I wrote a chapter about Tesla in Fairy Punk.

I make the point that everyone is still saying that Tesla was a forgotten genius when he's probably better known today than ever. I mean, he's on that really neat cusp of where people know who he is and feel like they are in the "know" of who he is.

Years ago, I'd wear my Green Lantern symbol t-shirt and people would congratulate themselves as knowing what it was. Or the best current example of an "in-the-know" nerd thing is Cthulhu. People in nerd culture are totally aware but the rest of world still seems clueless.

That's the sweet spot. Popularity without being popular enough for Walmart to pay attention. For instance, for several years that was the boardgame Settlers of Catan. It's being sold at Target nowadays and B & N, so it has sort of tipped over a little.

I guess another word for this is "Cult." People in the know are happy to be in the know until the Cult thing is appropriated by the public.

I'm going to say something shocking: Star Wars was a flop. A big fat flop. For my store. Sitting on piles of toys that no one is interested, my autopsy was this: Star Wars is no longer a thing you go to Pegasus Books for, anymore than you'd go to a specialty bread store for white bread.

It's so ubiquitous that it no longer has any kind of Cult flavor. (It's only surprising that it kept it's Cult flavor for so long...)

I'm probably past the age where I'm really picking up the Cult nature of things. I've forgone certain areas where I really should have stayed current with -- video games, Magic the Gathering, and so on.

Then again, I'm so eccentric in my interests--and my interests are my interests--that much of what I'm interested in becomes Cult without any push from me.

It's very strange to feel so mainstream knowing the same things I knew when I was so far out on the fringe.

I haven't moved so much as Mass Culture has moved toward me.

Can a thing be "Cult" when it is also "Mass Culture?"

Placeholder chapter.

I'm still struggling with "Fairy Punk."

I'm 70K words into it, so it's not like I'm going to quit now. Yesterday I wrote what I'm going to call a "placeholder" chapter. I try not to do that too much. It's an easy crutch, and just means I have to go back and really work harder on it.

I read it to Linda, and she seemed to think it was all right. She's having trouble with the multitude of characters, which is a problem that can't be resolved easily. In fact, it's an intrinsic part of the book. If it isn't working, it's because I'm not writing it well.

Anyway, yesterday's chapter was more or less 'The White Council' chapter, where the good guys get together and discuss plans. (I even make a joke about Tolkien, which I'll probably take out.) I love the setting, which is in an extant Cave of the Winds at Niagara Falls. (The real cave collapsed in 1954.)

In fact, I've loved all the setting to these chapters. Really, that's my starting point. I try to pick an interesting location with an interesting history and then have the scenes play out there. So I'm very satisfied with that part.

But what comes obvious when you have a bunch of characters talking about their motivations is if you haven't really nailed down the motivations. For instance, Iggy's journey should be more or less a secret (like the Fellowship). Otherwise, I have the lame motivation of the Big Bad saying, "I'll just watch them and see what happens.") That's probably the best (worst?) example, but there are a bunch of others.

It doesn't help that they have this big meeting but nothing is really resolved. No real decisions made.

Oh, well. Like I said, a placeholder chapter so I can move on. I needed to check in with that group of characters.  I've got to find a way to firm up the motivations, make them believable.

I'm sure I can do it, if I think about it long enough.

A flexible middle.

It's strange how different the experience of writing is for each book. You'd think after all the books I've written that it would happen a certain way. That is somewhat true, at least for my work process, but the books themselves seem to roll out differently every time.

"Fairy Punk" is another new experience. By now--65K words in--I usually have an endpoint in mind; how and when the book climaxes. Hell, half the time the book is finished by the time I've reached this word count.

With this book, I don't really have a clear idea where it is going to end.

The reason, I think, is because it is a road trip, a quest. As a result, the story is somewhat episodic. Something happens in one place, and then something else happens in another place. From Oregon to New York I can put as many adventures for my intrepid Iggy and friends as I want to. I mean, there needs to be a limit, but it is definitely flexible.

I'm planning on about 6 to 8 of these adventure chapters, but it could be more depending on how it goes.

What I've done is mapped out each day's travels and then looked for weird places and things along the way that serve the story, and so far, that has been amazingly easy. In fact, I have so many weird options I have to make a choice. America is a big and fascinatingly weird place.

So this flexible middle, where I approach each day and just write an adventure chapter, and then the next, is a new thing.

Funny thing is, I've also constructed a flexible ending. They get to Joseph Tindermaker's workshop, and there are levels and levels going down, and each level can also be an adventure, and how many levels I choose to use will depend on instinct and imagination.

It's fun to do it this way, but a little scary. It's writing without a net. I have a certain amount of faith in my creative energy now that I think I can pull it off.

I just have to take it one day at a time.

Connector thread.

I have two storylines going in Fairy Punk. There is the main storyline, which is basically a quest story where the "fellowship" is making their way east, and then there is the storyline on the east coast, foes and friends, waiting for them to arrive.

I reached a point in the story where I need to sew the two threads together. I need a connector thread.

The east coast storyline isn't as dynamic, so it needs to be pulled deeper into the story while the quest is still going on.

I'm enjoying the quest part. It has a kind of American Gods vibe in the sense that I'm looking for unusual locations and characters for the fellowship to meet along the way. The USA is full of interesting places, so that isn't all that hard. More a matter of choosing which weird to use.

So I've given my subconscious instructions, and I'll mull it over most of the day probably, and if I'm lucky, by the time I go for my walk, something will be rising to the surface.

Writing without a schedule.

In some purely artistic world, you wouldn't write to a schedule. You'd write when you were inspired. It would take as long as it takes.

I have a couple of problems with that.

First of all, under this blanket unending process, I'd probably never finish a book. I usually have a set time I try to write a book, a certain number of days, a certain number of words a day. It's this self-imposed discipline that results in a finished book.

The length of the book, the number of days I take, the number of words per day I try to write, seems to vary a lot, depending on the book, depending on my mood, depending on outside factors.

But the schedule I arrive at becomes binding, somehow, even though it is completely arbitrary. 

Secondly, there are those outside factors to take into account. If you have publishers, you have to try to fit your books into their schedule. The same thing with an editor and a book cover artist. I'm constantly juggling these factors.

I tend to stockpile my books, getting the editing and the cover art and the chance to submit to a publisher when I can. They don't usually come along at the same time.

So perforce, because my editors and my artists and my publishers all have a schedule, I too must have a schedule.

On writing days, and most of my days are scheduled as writing days, there is no particular hourly schedule. From the moment I wake up to the time I go to bed, writing is always lurking. I tend to focus around 11:00 on, until around 7:00, but allow myself to work outside that. I don't write all those 8 hours, but I'm thinking about it.

Lately, sometime in late afternoon, I go for my 5 mile walk, and that's where the ideas I've been playing with begin to coalesce and I get words on screen. (The walking--writing connection has become so strong a trigger, I'm actually a little worried about it.)

It is this freeing up of at least 5 days a week, at least 8 hours a day, which has made me so prolific. I don't run out of ideas, I just run out of time.

Once I came back to writing, I sort of vowed to say "Yes" to every decent idea that came along. One way I've accomplished that is by being so disciplined. If I write 6 days a week, and I give over the whole day to writing, 2000 words a day isn't that extraordinary. In fact, if you give it that much time and attention and can't do that many words, you're probably overthinking it.

Well, in the course of a year, that's one hell of a lot of words. Even if you take, say, 1/4 of the available time for rewriting, it still produces a bunch of stories. (For me, taking more than that much time on rewriting is overdoing it--I almost always make the book worse instead of better.)

Anyway, as you can see, I've worked out a process.

With the latest book, "Fairy Punk," I reached the point in the book where I'd usually be crafting an ending, making sure the plot all comes together.

But I've decided this time not to truncate the "quest" just because I have some artificial schedule. This time, I'm going to keep writing as long as the journey is interesting.

It also turns out, because of the scheduling with my outside factors, that I more or less have an extra month or two to write if I want to take them.

So I'm writing this book without a particular pressure to complete it within a certain amount of time. The only requirement is that I keep to my daily schedule and that I continue to enjoy writing it.

It would be kind of cool to make it an "epic." Somewhere north of 150K words. I don't think that is going to happen, but a 100K is pretty much within reach.

But that's just it. I'm leaving it open-ended. There is no schedule for finishing, and I'm sort of enjoying that freedom.

A good old-fashioned quest.

I'm 60K words into Fairy Punk and I'm still in the winding out phase, so to speak. That is, I'm not at the winding in phase where I'm bringing it home. So I don't know how long this book will be.

It's a little episodic, but on purpose. I wanted a fantasy that sort of took its time building a world, where the quest is the journey and the journey is the quest.

It has been a bit of struggle because I don't have that overall plot to guide me. I need a little idea for each new chapter, something that stirs the blood a little. So far, I've been able to find those.

Yesterday, I realized that I was building an underlying theme without intentionally meaning to.

"The End Of Fairy," in a nutshell. The events in the book are happening as Fairy is about to disappear, one way or another. Magic is leaving Mortal Realms.

That theme came out of the world building.

The world building is coming from "The Memoirs of Joseph Tindermaker," who is a half Elve/half Dwarve genius inventor who has invented a McGuffin--the "one ring" if you will--which is locked in the Vault and is the object of the "quest."  Tindermaker is already dead at the beginning of the book, but each chapter is started with a section of his memoirs, with which I build the background mythology for the events in the book.

I think that works, I hope that works, I don't know if that works.

Still trying to challenge myself.

I'm taking a different approach to Fairy Punk. More of a leisurely exploration, world building, episodic, hopefully amusing journey. Not so plot-driven.

I'm 50K words in and I'm still not completely sure where it's going. But every day, I come up with the next chapter and as long as they seem to work, I'll just keep going.

I don't have the usual time schedule for it -- it will take as long as it takes. Nor do I know how long it will be.

I'm also letting it simmer for most of the day, sometimes not even getting started until my walk, which I usually take around 4:00 or 5:00 in the afternoon.

I'm enjoying it, but I really don't know how it will turn out.

If it doesn't work, it was a grand experiment. I have a bunch of stories that haven't worked. Rather than go back and try to fix them, so far I've just been moving on to the next effort. Frankly, writing a new book is easier and more fun and probably even less work. Plus, whatever improvements I've made to my writing benefits the new book.

If the time ever comes when my imagination fails me--and that doesn't seem implausible that I'll hit a dry spell at some point--then I can work on the previous books.

It's interesting to me that I can have written so many stories, and the process still is different with each one. Each book is a particular book, written in different ways with different attitudes and different approaches. Kinda weird, actually. Not sure why I can't settle into a certain approach or a certain type of book.

Then again, it makes it interesting. And I think it makes it a challenge.

Journey thru Mordor phase.

I'm in the journey thru Mordor phase of Fairy Punk. My heroes need to get from Oregon to New York, pursued by foes, helped by friends. Iggy--the punk--has to release the McGuffin (the One Ring--though I'm not completely sure what it is yet) from a Vault.

I'm trying to choose appropriate Fairy creatures, ones that feel right. So dwarves are good, gnomes are bad.  Pixies (with switchblades) for some reason are good, but I make a joke about Leprechauns "not being real." I have introduced Hellhounds.

So first stop along the way, they get to Bullhead City, Arizona. Spirit Mountain is on the horizon. They stop at a run down R.V. park outside an Indian Casino. Kerrie, the half dwarve who has magical lucky ability (hence the Leprechaun reference) goes and wins a bunch of money.

Native American operatives come after them and turn into Skinwalkers.

Our Fellowship is saved by a herd of glowing white magical horses--who in the morning turn into the wandering burros of Oatman, Arizona. (That's a real thing...)

So, you know, I have to make that seem half-believable. Heh.

Thing is...I'm having great fun.

I'm a serial Vacuum Cleaner killer.

I confess...I've murdered more vacuum cleaners than any man alive.

I get a brand new vacuum, and it works! It actually sucks stuff up! Amazing!

Two weeks later, it only manages to do some kind of snuffling stuff up.

After six months of diminishing snuffling, I give up and buy a new vacuum.

Repeat.

I've tried every kind of vacuum cleaner--big and small, simple and complicated, upright and canister, cheap and expensive. It doesn't seem to matter. I kill them.

I've tried threatening my employees. "If any of you suck up a carpet thread and murder this vacuum cleaner, I'll...I'll...Kill You."

Then, of course, I get an apologetic look when I come in the door and they tell me the vacuum cleaner isn't working and, "I don't know why."

Notice, I don't threaten to fire them, because then I'd have to follow through, right? So I back off my murder threat and sigh and buy a new vacuum cleaner.

The time before last, I decided to buy a high quality, expensive vacuum. It had a bunch of doodads attached, most of which I was never going to use. But I think it took an engineering degree to use the wand. I figured it out once, almost by accident, but could never get it to work a second time. I'd think I was completely stupid, but neither of my bright young employees ever did figure out how to use it.

Last time, I bought an average vacuum cleaner, thinking maybe I was over-thinking it.

Nope, died in three months. Just stopped working.

So last week I went out and bought a $49.99 vacuum cleaner. That's going to be it from now on. A few of those a year, I figure. I'll just have to figure out a way to ditch the bodies.

Now if Linda would just stop murdering her printers....

Yeah, I thought they were pretty good too.

I read chapters 3-5 of Deep Sea Rising at writer's group last night.

Last session I read chapters 1 and 2. I thought they were pretty good. They had nice kickers at the end, and were intriguing. A good start, which is important. Pam seemed very impressed.

Susan was the only one who made it to group this week. Anyway, as I started reading chapter 3, she made some appreciative noises. I finished the chapter, she broke in (which isn't the usual thing) and said, "That's really, really good, Duncan!"

So, encouraged, I read chapters 4 and 5. She chuckled at every beat point, just the way I'd hope a reader would. When I finished, she just raved about the book and then went through and pointed out all the subtleties I'd been hoping a reader would get.

She was so effusive in her praise, I laid my head on the table and said, "Thank god, I needed that."

Gary wasn't there. Gary always brings me down to earth.

But I do believe this is my best book. I got 30K words into the book before I ran into any clunky writing. That's a really good stretch. Most books I feel lucky if I get 2 or 3 chapters in a book that come out in a pristine form. Most of the time, I have to go back and do a lot of rewriting to get it up to snuff.

I always have my favorite chapters, and it's nice when I get confirmation.

Deep Sea Rising came out so well, I decided to send it off to the publisher without paying for the usual editing.

It may still not meet their needs for some reason. But it's very encouraging when a reader (listener) seems to pick up on exactly what I was attempting to accomplish.

As I was reading the chapters, I just thought they were really professional, and showed a level of competence that has come from a lot of hard work and practice.

If I do say so myself.

If I enjoy it, so will the reader. (?)

My idea of writing each chapter of Fairy Punk while not knowing where I was going lasted all of a day.

A full day where I couldn't come up with a thing.

Finally, I went for my late afternoon walk. I told myself to just think about the story, not worry about writing, and that seemed to free my imagination. I've got to remember that: When I pressure myself to come up with words nothing happens, but when I just think about story, the words come.

Anyway, I'm doing a lot a back filling. Lots of characters, a complex backstory. It's all clear to me, so I'm going with it. My theory is that if I enjoy what I'm doing the reader will enjoy what I'm doing.

I also figured out the way forward. The next quarter of the book is a road trip. Road warrior-like. They are making their way from Oregon to New York pursued by the Bad Guys.

Then the last quarter of the book is a lock box story, as Iggy figures out how to get the McGuffin and then springs it loose.

So I now have a rough idea of what I want. I've left the specifics open, so that should be fun. Lots of fairy creatures to spring loose.

I'm not writing this as fast as I have other books, but as long as I'm progressing, I'm not worrying about that. It's not like I'm falling behind on producing...

Clear motives.

I stopped checking reviews and sales early this month. I think--to a surprising extent--it's helped keep me focused on writing. I didn't realize I was doing paying so much attention to that. Basically, not checking has made it all less important.

It only matters that I write. "Fairy Punk."

I managed a chapter yesterday, but I at least had a clue about what I was going to write. Today I have no clue at all. Just that I'm going to do it.

I realized last night that I needed to clarify one plot element. I need to have the Big Bad trying to kill the heroes from the very beginning of the book. Right now, I have everyone wanting the same goal and that obviously doesn't create any conflict.

The fact that this was a Fantasy book and would need lots of world building sort of crept up on me. I mean, since it is set in the modern world, I thought that's all I would need for background. But there is also Fairy, and the interaction between Fairy and the real world, and that makes it complicated.

I'm purposely not plotting this book because I want to be surprised. Each day, I'm asking myself, what can I do that would be interesting and unexpected?

I hope I don't write myself in a corner.

Linda is having a hard time following the story, but it is clear in my head and I always believe if it is clear in my head it will be clear to the reader.

I hope.

No clue about the ending.

Fairy Punk is an idea and an attitude.

I think this is the farthest I've gone into a book without having some idea of the ending, even if it was vague. Certainly, I always had the next few chapters. I'd often have a "theme" I was working out, and that would guide what the ending was.

Here I am 40K words in, and not only don't I have an ending, I don't even have the next chapter.

But I have the whole day to write the next chapter, and all day tomorrow for the next chapter after that, and so on.

I have faith it will work out. In fact, I kind of like the fact that I'm not locked in. I can ask myself each chapter -- what could I write that would be surprisingly satisfying?

So I'm actually thinking of blanking out the ending for as long as I can.

I think I liked the premise of this book so much that I just figured it would come together. I still think it will. But I'm going to totally take it day by day. I like the characters and the setting and I think the world building is coming along. So now all I have to do is apply myself each day.

This book isn't so much about theme as it is about "attitude." A little of punk, but mostly, I want it to be free and easy and loose.

So that is going to be my focus each day.

I was very satisfied with yesterday's chapters. So somewhat surprised that nothing has come to me today. But...I'm sure it will, once I turn my attention to it.

Now I've done it.

As some of you may know, my first book coming back was Faerylander. It became an unwieldy thing, over 150K words, and I was never completely satisfied with it. I've rewritten it 18 times.

No really, 18 times.

I did kind of a stupid thing and wrote two sequels, which are actually okay.

My friend Bren did a great editing job on it, but suggested that I might really have two books here. So I thought about it for a while, and realized that--while two books wasn't possible-- three books was. I sort of hazily diagrammed it in my head, realized it would be incredibly difficult.

So I set it aside and went on with my life.

Anyway, I decided to use the cover I originally intended for Faerylander for I Live Among You. I contracted with Mike Corley for a cover to Faerylander and asked if he could come up with an overall design for all five books, and then a separate logo for each other them, and maybe not charge full price for all five covers. (I plan to make this a long series, so now all I need is a new logo for each book...)

So he came up with a cool cover for Faerylander.

Yesterday he delivered the covers for.

Faerylander.
Zombielander
Cthulhu-lander
Wolflander
Ghostlander.

They're fabulous. They make ME want to read those books.

So now I've got to split Faerylander, or the "War betwen Cthulhu and Faery" into three parts and have it make sense.

So after I finish Fairy Punk, that will be my next project. It's five books, so I figure I can spend a few more months on Faerylander to spring them loose.

I have a ton of raw material, and I know the general story inside and out. So I'm going to really do a full outline for the first three books, which I haven't really ever done before.

It's kind of exciting and daunting at the same time.

But now I have to do it.

Going forward by going backward.

I was at a bit of a stall with Fairy Punk. I have a general idea of where I want to go, but I wasn't feeling it. I think it's dangerous to write a story if you don't feel it.

Anyway, Linda kept complaining that she thought there wasn't a "connecting thread" in the chapters, and meanwhile I was world-building as I went along, which was starting to tie me up in knots with contradictions.

So I had the sudden impulse to go back and build that world.

I have a major character who is referred to all the way through the book but is deceased: The half Elve, half Dwarve genius inventer, Joseph Tindermaker.

So I decided to tell the backstory through his POV.

At first I thought I might be writing full flashback chapters, which would have been challenging to fit into the current narrative.

But the little stories I was telling were coming in at around 500 words, so I decided instead to try to write a little italicized foreword to each chapter.

I wrote the first six yesterday, and read them out loud to Linda.

"There's your connecting thread," she said. "Much better."

I write to Linda's approval to some extent. I mean, I know I'm on the right path when she doesn't have reservations. I know there's something wrong when she does have reservations.

So I'm halfway through the story now, and I'm very pleased.

The biggest challenge for me will be to get some of the "Punk" into it. My main character, Iggy, is a punkish bounty hunter. So I've been exploring the current Pyrate Punx world trying to get a handle on it.

I don't need to go overboard on it,  just some believable flavoring.

I've contracted for a cover, and I've seen the first sketch and it was really good. But I felt that Iggy looked a little tame in it, so asked for a revision.

But...it's going to be cool.

Trying to find my groove.

I can't seem to find my groove with Fairy Punk. Just started losing steam. Linda says I seem less enthused about this story.

But I do like the idea of the story, I just can't seem to find that entry point where I just get into it.

So I'm about halfway through. A dangerous place if I leave it. I've got at least 3 other books that I left halfway through, and I've never picked them back up again.

But is it healthy to force myself to finish a book I'm not feeling?

So...I'm going to try to finish it, but only if I can find my groove. So the rest of the month is about finding that groove.

I hit a roadblock halfway through Led to the Slaughter for instance, and unlocked it by doing POV through journals. So I need to figure out what POV I need, or what angle I need to take, to really feel it and get it.

Most of all, I need to feel it and see it. Right now, it feels muddled.

So...I have the rest of the day to write 3000 words. The rest of the day to try to find my groove.


It occurred to me that I was interested in the backstory. Not only that, but if I wrote out the backstory, I would be world-building and helping figure out the plot.

I was going to write full chapters, but then decided that I would have 500 words chapter headings of The Memoirs of Joseph Tindermaker. Tell the back store in short snippets. If that doesn't work, I can do more involved flashback chapters. But I'm hoping I can do the job this way.

Plus, I like being in the head of Joseph Tindermaker.

Fuck It, I'll Just Keep Writing.

My new mantra, what I tell myself each morning and before bed and before I start writing. Fuck It, I'll Just Keep Writing.

I feel like the real world has pulled me away from my writing.

Fuck It, I'll Just Keep Writing.

Who do I send it to, and when, and why, and where and on and on and on, and what the hell does that have to do with writing?

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl Murders was my attempt to publish my own book and it has pretty much gone nowhere.

But it's a good book, at least as good as I can be. I think it is a satisying and entertaining read. At least I think so.

So I've put it out with the best editing and cover and overall presentation I could do and what happens after that doesn't seem to be up to me. Not as long as I'm not willing to be a promotional whore. That spamming guy. The cousin who tries to sell you life-insurance. I don't want to be that guy.

So Fuck It, I'll Just Keep Writing.

I really enjoy writing, I like what I'm doing, I think it has artistic merit.

So Fuck It, I'll Just Keep Writing.

Oooooommmmmmmm.