Motivations and plot have to match.

I'm halfway through Fairy Punk but stalled, because I just realized that the plot resolution I'm heading for contradicts the motivations of the characters so far.

Surprising how often this happens.

Basically, I have the Big Bad planning to do the opposite of what he probably wants to do. I could finesse it and find a lame excuse as to why he's doing that, but it doesn't feel solid.

I'm sure there is an answer if I mull on it long enough.

Of course, planning and outlining would avoid this -- but I can't make up a plot out of the air. I've tried, and nothing happens. I discover the plot through writing. Most often, as I'm writing, the plot becomes clear to me.

But everyone once in a while the plot goes one way and character motivations go another way.

The mistake I've made in the past was to keep writing, therefore compounding the problem.

So I'm just taking a deep breath and thinking it through.

If I ask myself enough questions, I'll figure out an answer. The future -- the second half of the book -- is not written. When it is written, it will be written by me. So the answer is there.

"Fairy Punk" -- an Urban Fantasy.

The title to my new book is "Fairy Punk." I'm nearly halfway through, so I feel comfortable about talking about it now.

The whole idea was to have fun with this one. Anything goes. I ask myself every day, "What would be a cool thing to have happen?"

It's an Urban Fantasy.

Hedge Fund elves, a genius half elf, half dwarve inventer named Joseph Tindermaker, and hapless Iggy Sinclair, who is a punk bounty hunter who is pulled into the shenanigans. It's got dwarves and elves and pixies and trolls and ogres (so far.)

And the Ancient One, who was banished by the human One God ten thousand years ago but has returned by infesting a human A.I.

I blithely started writing it and then a few chapters in realized that it required world-building, which is one of the reasons I've stayed away from Fantasy this time around.

But I love the characters and the premise, so I'll muscle through.

Thing is, I discover the world by writing. Which means that I often box myself into corners. Inconsistencies and contradictions and backward motivations creep into the story, that have to be fixed later.

Ah, well. It was a book I really wanted to write.

The Darkness You Fear is off to the publisher.

The Darkness You Fear: Ghosts of the Lost Blue Bucket Mine is done!

I think it's pretty good. I worked hard on it. It fits well with the first two Virginia Reed books. The cool thing is that the Lost Blue Bucket Mine is local Central Oregon lore. Nice to bring it home.

Virginia is only 18 at the end of the book, and it is only 1851, so plenty of room for more weird Westerns.

The cover is finished,

and I think it's pretty cool. I'm hoping the publisher can get this out in May or June, but it's up to him.


I'll probably be pro-active trying to get some reviews for it, because the publisher keeps emphasizing how important it is to him and I feel like I owe him that much. My own stuff, The Manic Pixie Dream Girl Murders and Cyber Flash, I don' t do that with. I announce them and publish them and that's it, and as a result they really aren't going anywhere. I guess I'm doing it for the art.

I feel responsible to my publishers, though. And they do produce much better results.

Anyway, I'm really glad to have this done and that I'm  happy with the finished book. So satisfying.

Walking and writing, writing and walking.

Strangely, I didn't start walking for any other reason than to inspire my writing. I found out long ago that going on walks sparks my imagination, especially if I don't run into anyone.

Once I started walking, I came up with a route and out of curiosity I measured the distance.

Now, after walking five days a week for five months, I'm walking 6 miles in the same time it used to take me to walk 4 miles, this without any conscious effort to increase my pace. I guess I didn't really realize how out of shape I was.

I've only lost about 7 pounds -- I haven't changed my eating habits at all. But I've lost a couple of notches in my belt, probably a couple of inches off my waist. I figure I've probably gained a couple of pounds in my legs. My calves are noticeably bigger.

Anyway, the walking just feels good. I'm not really doing it for any other reason than that. Well, that and it helps me think about my stories. I get little glimmers of ideas about the chapter I'm writing as I go along, and I save them up. Sometimes I stop about halfway and do some writing if the weather cooperates.

I didn't go walking yesterday because of the rain and snow, but I really wanted to. It was raining this afternoon when I set out, but I really wanted to get out of the house. Sure enough, 15 miles out of town, the rain stopped. I guess that's why they call it a desert.

The only real concern I have now is that the walking has become such a trigger to my writing that I wonder if I can even write without walking first!

My first non-supernatural book.

I read the first two chapters of "Deep Sea Rising" at writer's group. They seemed to like it.

I think it is the best overall thing I've done. At least by my standards, it's got a interesting premise, rounded characters, competent writing, and a plot with momentum.

It's also, by coincidence, the first non-supernatural book I've written. (Not that there is anything wrong with supernatural books.) It is more in Micheal Crichton territory -- a little bit of speculation on things that could really happen. A bit fantastical, perhaps, but well within disaster thriller range. It could also be marketed as a "creature" book. So it has a few more options, that is, if any of those options were actually open to me.

The agent thing is the big roadblock. I tried that first off and got absolutely nowhere. I'm not willing to do it again. Not one agent was even interested in looking at "Led to the Slaughter," which I thought was a pretty good book and had an interesting premise. The shut-out totally shocked me.

I've sent "Deep Sea Rising" to a couple of publishers without editing (hi, Lara...). The reason is -- if this book can't get any notice from publishers the way it is, then probably nothing I'm doing will work. I'd even send this book to the Big 5 if I could, I think it's that good, but I'd need an agent for that, unfortunately. I have a backdoor to one of the big publishers (actually the 6th biggest publisher, heh) but I don't know if the door is open, closed, or locked.

Some, maybe most, of my books I realize are just "quirky." If you're trying to break in, writing "quirky" books isn't probably the way to do it.

But if your goal is to have fun writing books, writing "quirky" books is absolutely the way to do it. My writing career has been a gradual realization that what I'm writing and the way I want to write and how much promoting I want to do is not conducive in many cases to actually selling books.

One thing I learned at the store. Make your success on Your Own Terms. You can build from there. You can continue to enjoy what you're doing. Don't make success on Their Terms. You'll hate what you're doing, no matter how successful you are on the outside.

So I'm approaching my writing from the same perspective. If I'm successful on My Own Terms then great -- but the hell with all that other bullshit. Being miserable for success isn't success at all.

Talk, talk, talk, yadda, yadda, yadda.

I used to avoid conversation in my books. I didn't think I was great at it.

I used to believe that writing narrative was my strength.

Now, many books later, I rarely resort to narrative at all. My books are mostly constructed of scenes, with perhaps a little narrative thread. Most of the narrative is put in the mouths of my characters. If something needs to be explained, if something needs to be related, if there is a flashback, then my characters will tell us.

So more and more, the scenes are comprised of either talk or action.

So it seems like my characters are always talking. None of it is excess, as far as I can tell. Most of it continues the plot.

But it feels a little weird.

I don't think there is anything wrong with narrative, but talk is a form of action. It involves the reader more.

It's also more dangerous. It's harder to do well. I have to try really hard to delineate the characters through their talk, hopefully not making them all sound the same.

None of this is choice. It's more an evolution of my style. Trying to build on what works, what propels the story best.

The current book is full of ideas and interesting characters, and a complex plot, but probably needs a bit more world building. It may be a mistake to do the world building after the plot, but that seems to be the direction I'm going.

Lara told Linda at lunch yesterday that she never knew an author who did his research after writing the book, but to me it's common sense. Without knowing what you're looking for, research would seem to me to be infinite. Whereas, when you know specifically what you need or what will fit, then it is much more pertinent.

Anyway, this is one of those books, of which there have been several, that I like a lot, but which I wonder if other people will.

I made the decision early on that I would write these kinds of books if I wanted to. And just hope there are others -- even if a minority -- who like it as much as I do.

Everyone is a writer.

Owning a bookstore and being a writer has taught me one thing -- everyone is a writer. Well, maybe not everyone, but one hell of a lot of people.

"I'm writing (have written) a book too!"

In talking to these writers, almost all of them are completely unknowledgeable about the publishing industry. What knowledge they do have is years, decades out of date. They've bought into all the myths about publishing.

When I try to tell them about self-publishing and Amazon, they dismiss the idea out of hand.

Look, I figure I would have a small chance, maybe a slightly better than small chance, to get published by the mainstream publishers if I really tried, if I took years to do it, if I was willing to accept tons of rejections.

I have no interest in going there.

I have to say, talking to most of these writers, that they have almost no chance. I'll leave the word "almost" there, because what do I know?

But their lack of awareness is truly amazing. They have no idea what they are facing. It's a little bit like watching a lamb wander into the lion's den.

I mean, if they want to reject self-publishing, I guess I can understand it (even if their rejection is based on faulty information) but when they don't take the time to check the state of publishing, how do they think anything is going to happen?

I point them toward some websites that might bring them up to speed, but I can tell they aren't going to do it. Honestly, in what other business would people believe they don't need to know anything about the business they're entering? (Well, retail stores, but that's another story.)

But really, just one afternoon of internet research would at least give them a general idea of what's happening.

Ignorance is bliss, I guess. I'm guessing that most of them have no intention of ever following through. Or if they do, that they'll give up at the first sign of resistance. They rather nurture their daydreams of glory that get down to the nitty gritty details.

I wonder how many writers succeed simply because they are willing to do the basic research (whether they are good writers or not) and how many writers fail because they don't do what they need to do (whether they are good writers or not.)

It's easier today than ever, but you have to make it easy for yourself.

The ideas keep coming.

Went on a 6 mile hike yesterday, but didn't stop to write this time. I just let the ideas flow, and the ideas just kept on coming. I think that's a sign that a story is going to become a book. There is plenty of material.

I kept asking myself -- how can I make this surprising? How can I make it bigger?

As the ideas flowed, I realized that I needed to nail down the mythos of this world, so that the plot makes sense. I have a tendency to try to fit the mythos into the plot instead of the plot into the mythos.

The tone is light, while the story is dark. That seems to be about right.

I'm at that point in the book where I've figured out at least half the book, but have very little idea what is going to happen in the second half of the book. I haven't decided yet if figuring out the ending early is a good thing or a bad thing.

I love to discover the story as I go along, but I also know how easy it is to write myself in a corner. However, I trust my subconscious much more these days -- trust that it will deliver a coherent satisfying ending.

The trick is not to make substantial changes in the middle of the book. Additions and subtractions are fine on a first draft, but changing the plot is not.

I'm not pushing it. If the ending comes to me, so be it. If not, so be it.

I'll just keep writing.

I'm only comfortable when I'm writing.

Got back on track yesterday. Went walking in the rain on my old route, which was refreshing. The ideas just started flowing. I not only wrote a couple of chapters, but I came up with some bigger ideas for the rest of the book. I think I know where it is going now.

I felt very good about it, and I realized that I've gotten to the point, after four years, that I'm only comfortable when I'm writing. Otherwise I feel somewhat at loose ends, as if my day is partly empty.

In other words, it's gotten to the point where I not only want to write, but need to write.

Opening that creative part of the brain is a healthy thing, I think. And managing to actually make use of the ideas I come up with is very satisfying.

Whether I do so in a readable way is something I'll probably always struggle with. I worry that it comes too easy for me. I do try to put my feet to the fire to give it more effort when I'm finished with the first draft. I acknowledge that rewriting is necessary and almost always results in a better book.

On the other hand, the pure creativity of the first draft -- indulging in that -- is making me a better storyteller, I think. I'm letting my imagination loose, without restrictions, and it feels good.

I'm addicted to the first draft, and I can't go too long without it. Fortunately for me, there is nothing to keep me from doing it. I don't need any outside thing to make it possible -- no permission, no tools, no help.

I can just indulge my passion at my own whim.

It's a great thing to look forward to over the coming years. I wonder how I managed to live my life without it for so many years. I had the store, and that was a creative effort in many ways, but this is more pure. As much as I want people to read me, it isn't even dependent on that.

I can just write and have fun and it is enough.

Full creative.

I need to go Full Creative.

From the start, I've realized that there are two different parts involved in getting a book out.

There is the actual writing of the book, which in my case is Full Creative. That is, I don't let anything get in the way of my ideas. No worries about whether anyone else will like it, or whether it is commercial. Just whatever story comes to me.

The second part is everything else. The editing, the covers, the submissions, the actual books. A big part of the second part of this process is scheduling. Trying not to step on a book that is coming out, trying to time it so that each of my publishers get material in a timely matter. Trying to fit the editing and rewriting process into that.

In most cases, these considerations pull me away from the Full Creative. I've got several books that are partly finished because of the necessity of getting things ready for the real world.

But I have "The Darkness You Fear" slotted in. (Not for sure until I get a contract, but it seems to be the way things are going.) And I have "Tuskers III" coming out in October.

So I've decided to turn my back on all the real-world considerations and turn Full Creative. Just write whatever I want to write when I want to write it. Without regard to schedules.

For one thing, I'd really like to finish the partial books. I like all of them. I feel bad that I left them. So I want to get those done.

And if new exciting ideas comes to me between projects, then I'll do them too.  I figure I have the rest of the year to do this. It will mean my books will start stockpiling as I finish them. I've already got 4 books completely finished. Covers being made, editing to be done on some, but the books themselves are finished. If I  finish the rest of my projects, there's every chance I'll have 10 or more books done by this time next year.

So here goes. Full Creative.  Write the story.

Books? What are those?

The antidote to doubt, again.

The antidote to doubt is to write something.

Every book is a new beginning, a new chance to get it right. I can usually carry this enthusiasm all the way to the end of the book. The creative process itself is so exhilarating that I can overcome the hurdles and problems and finish.

It is only when I'm not writing, or even worse, when I'm rewriting, that doubt sets in.

Being critical and having doubt are pretty much the same thing. By the time I finish rewriting a book, I am filled with doubt. I don't overdo it these days. I've developed processes that keep that in check. In the old days, I'd rewrite so much that I'd end up hating the book. Nowadays I usually manage to keep my affection for the story.

Not writing also causes doubt. The creative glow fades, the memory of the story starts to recede into the past, and day to day concerns come to the forefront. Often I'm dealing with the details of getting what I've written into the world. Not the same thing as creativity.

So I'm always excited to start a new book, and I try to nurture that excitement all the way through.

Doubt is in the future, put into abeyance, something that is a nuisance. Doubt might be useful in making me put my best effort in, but doubt is deadly when I'm in the process of creating.

I'm ready to plunge into my newest story. I've written about 12K words so far. I had to step away to do the rewrite of The Darkness You Fear, but I really want to get back to it.

I need to renew my faith in my abilities and my hopes. 

On to the next book.

So I'm done done with The Darkness You Fear.

What do I do next?

I have a whole lot of options. I'm thinking I'll probably finish the first draft of the book I started a little while ago.

I have four books that I've written half of -- The Last Sombrero, Tuskers IV, and the Odyssey of Linger Longfellow, and Not by Water, But by Fire.

I want to break up Faerylander into three different books.

I'll let whatever grabs me grab me. Sometimes I'm surprised, sometimes it becomes very clear. I don't really want these half written books to sit there forever. My thought is that I write a new book, then work on an old book, then write a new book, and alternating from then on.

I also want to give Deep Sea Rising a full rewrite. I think it's my best book so far, actually. I went ahead and sent it somewhere without a rewrite, which might have been a mistake, but I'm going to need to start experimenting with the formula.

Sending stuff off without spending money on covers and editing is one of the things I think I need to try. I've got so much material done that I can afford to take chances.

Because in the end, if everything doesn't work, I can still just publish it myself. In fact, there is a large part of me that wants to do that, but it is undeniable that -- so far at least -- having publishers results in much higher sales.

But, if I think of it this way, it's a win win situation.

Finished the Dreaded Rewrite.

I'm sending The Darkness You Fear to Lara tonight for a final clean copy-edit and then on to Books of the Dead in about a week.

It came out well, I think. A worthy addition to the "Virginia Reed Adventures." And Virginia is still only 18 years old. Plenty of adventures to look forward to!

I used the Whitman Mission massacre in the beginning of the book, and then on to the Lost Blue Bucket Mine, which is local Central and Easter Oregon history.

Hopefully, this will be coming out in a couple of months or so.

The Dreaded Rewrite -- Epilogue

This will be the last Dreaded Rewrite post.

I really struggled with the last 50 pages or so. A couple of times I almost gave up, almost said "Good Enough" and  sent it off to Lara for final edit. But I stuck with it, and slowly but surely turned the ocean liner around.

I now think it is substantially better than before. It was mostly the clunky writing that bothered me. Turns out, the best solution in many cases was to simply take it out. If it can't be easily rectified, and it isn't necessary, take it out. It often makes it read better anyway.

The ending needs to have some emotional catharsis, and that is very hard to pull off. Especially in the Dreaded Rewrite.

At any rate, I feel like I've cleaned it up and it is finally ready to go.

Yeah!

The Dreaded Rewrite VII

I found a really clunky chapter about 25 pages from the end. I worked on it, but it was balky.

So I did something I almost never do anymore.

I drank some wine, waited for that moment when I'm halfway between sloshed and hyper-competent, and spent a few hours trying to fix it.

It came out well, at least better than it was, and since I was stuck before, it was worth it.

As I said, this is not a great solution, and it's a bit of a rabbit out of the hat solution that can only be used sparingly. For one thing, most of the time it doesn't work...

So now I have 25 pages to go. The rewrite has definitely improved the book, so I'm glad I did it. It's strange how hard rewriting is, compared to writing a first draft. You'd think it would be the opposite.

Dreaded Rewrite VI

After blowing through the rewrite of the first 75 pages of The Darkness You Fear, I thought -- "Hey, no sweat."

Hit page 80 and the problems began. I was confronted with a bad chapter. Just bad.

So it confirms that I should always do a rewrite. Period. There are always going to be parts that need more work. 

I completely rewrote the problem chapter. I've gone through only 25 pages so far. There is another chapter which I think needs to be expanded upon, especially since the epilogue gives it new importance.

Going for a walk to figure out what to do.


Will make another stab at it tonight. Try to get the full 75 pages I need to do. But now that I've actually started to mess with it, I'm tempted to go back and see if anything else needs more work.

Sigh.


Ended up doing 55 pages, which isn't bad. Wrote a couple short scenes that added to the story. I've now added 5000 words with half the book yet to do. I'm going to try to keep any more additions under 1000 words.

It just goes to show how important the rewrite is. I mean, I can always see the improvement. It just has to be done. I also need to remind myself that once I start doing it, it is never as hard as I think it's going to be.

I'm reading a S.F. novel, On The Steel Breeze, by Alastair Reynolds, and after a day of editing I really notice the writing. No ones perfect, heh.

The Dreaded Rewrite V

I read through 75 pages of The Darkness You Fear, yesterday, making small changes. Nothing major needs to be done, it looks like. I've been saying that I don't rewrite until the end, but it turns out, I've done a fair amount already. Because of my moving things around, I was forced to make edits as I went along.

So I'll probably be able to finish this up in a couple more days, actually, then send it on to Lara.


Then I'm going to dive right back into my new book, which I'm very much enjoying writing.

The Dreaded Rewrite IV: No More Excuses!

Still didn't do the rewrite yesterday. I added in all the writer's group criticisms, which took most of the afternoon. I fit in my walk, and while I was at it wrote a new chapter in the new book.

Then I had writer's group, so I threw in the towel.

I read the last three chapters of The Darkness You Fear, including the new epilogue, and they seemed to like it. Felt a little clunky to me so I'm going to pay particular attention to that.

No more excuses!

All this procrastination just means I have to do more pages a day. I started out thinking I'd do 20 pages a day, then 30, now I'm up to 40 pages or more. Which means, pretty much, a 12 hour day.

Linda is on a trip, so I'm just taping all our regular shows. So that frees up the evening for work.

No more excuses!

The Dreaded Rewrite III

The Darkness You Fear: Ghosts of the Lost Blue Bucket Mine is finished and edited, and I've gone through and added a timeline and research material.

Now all I need do is go through it line by line and make sure nothing is clunky. That it reads well.

I've successfully procrastinated for days now. Didn't do anything yesterday. Once again I am tempted to say, "It's good enough."

I've managed not to give in to that lazy little voice so far. After all, I'm asking people to read what I've written. They deserve my best effort.

So today I'm determined to start the rewrite and push my way to the end of the book. So far, everything I've published has been put through this process, whether I wanted to or not.

It would be easier if I was rewriting as I went along, but part of my process is to push on through and finish the book before I go back and do anything. As much as I dislike rewriting, I've learned that if I start doing it too soon, I get entangled and mired down. I destroy the original concept and lose the momentum.

So editing while I write is a no no. But that probably leaves a bigger job at the end.

Some of the editing is paring down and clarifying, as all writing probably needs that. But at the same time, I usually need to put a bit more description and explanation into my writing. I mean, I keep it to a minimum. I'd rather the characters and the plot carry the story, but I do need to put in telling details to make it feel more real. 

I believe that you have to try to do the right thing. Take the moral high ground as often as possible. (I admit, I don't say Always, because life is too complicated and ambiguous for that.)

I just have to keep reminding myself that once done, the book is going to have my name on it forever. I want to be completely proud of it. If the cost of that is a couple weeks of unpleasant but productive work, then that is what I need to do.

Starting today, dammit.

The Dreaded Rewrite II

I added a Foreword and an Epilogue to The Darkness You Fear.

I put in historical dates on all the entries, (this is MUCH harder than it sounds, especially if I want them to be somewhat accurate)  and I added some of the little tidbits of research I'd gathered.

All in all, I added about 3000 words, which makes it 80,000 words, which was my goal.

Now?

I'm going to start on page one and read it all the way through and make whatever little changes will improve the writing. Should take me a week.

Then I'll send it to Lara, and after she returns it, send it on to Books of the Dead.

While I'm doing this, I'm not writing on my new book, but I want to make sure that this new Virginia Reed book is up to standard.

I just have to take a deep breath and do it, no matter how intimidating. Rewriting always helps, and I think it's a good book already, so it will make it all that much better.