Wrote a great action scene yesterday for "Fires of Allah." I was really stoked.

Read it to Linda last night, and saw all the flaws. Nevertheless, I feel like I'm back on track. The 1000 word a day goal seems about right. It's weird to be writing that slow, but it seems to be working.

This is my most ambitious book. I'm trying to keep it "real." I may in the end bring in supernatural elements--I've set it up for that possibility--but first I want to see how it comes out as a straight thriller.

Problem is, I don't have a market for a thriller. I'm known for my horror writing, and I can probably get a hearing on any horror novel I write. But what do I do with a thriller?

Publish it myself?

That hasn't worked out so great. I have what I think are a couple of pretty good novels out, "Blood of Succubus" and "Faerie Punk," and they are just sitting there.

Maybe that's what I'll end up having to accept, if I want to write what I want to write.

I'm still not willing to try to find an agent. I like my writing too much to subject it to that process. Nor to a mainstream publisher. I think it would take all the joy out of what I'm doing.

Oh, well. The writing is the thing.

Keeping it real. Really for the first time in years I'm somewhat blocked. I've lowered my goal to 1000 words a day, since that doesn't seem as intimidating. And what happens, usually, is that I keep going.

It's a matter of inertia, I think. If I can just get rolling again, everything will be fine.

"Fires of Allah" is a real challenge in that I'm really trying to keep it REAL. There is a bit of leeway when you are writing outright fantasy or horror. There is an accepted range of "out there."

I want this book to feel real all the way through. As I mentioned, this means probably dropping the "thriller" motif I started with. Making it about the firefighters and the terrorists. For some reason, I can't have bad guys without getting into their heads and trying to make them understandable.

I'm trying to elevate this book by thinking more in advance, writing it slower, planning on lots of research, and more rewriting than I usually do.

What I find is that the quality of my writing doesn't really vary by what my intent is. That is, I can't just say, "Oh, this will be better." Right?

But instead of being able to magically elevate my writing, I can spend more time on it. So that's what I'm attempting to do.

Long ago, I read excerpts of "Young Men and Fire" and it really affected me. If I can get 1/10th of the pathos of that book into my book, I'll have succeeded. I may fall short, but I think it's a worthy thing to attempt.

I've written 6000 words of "Fires of Allah" in 7 days, which is a pretty pokey pace for me. But I'm still trying to overcome the inertia of having been interrupted several times and taking the last 4 months away from it.

It has so much potential, I'm just trying to hang in there, hoping that I'll ignite. If I don't ignite, I'll just keep trying. I've decided to dedicate much more time to this book. If I can get the framework down, then I can improve it later, especially if I do as much research as I'm planning.

The biggest worry I have is that there are too many characters.

The second biggest worry is that there is so much locational and technical detail that I'll get some of it wrong.

My current plan is to take what I've written and add magic realism. Also, if possible, to cut the chapters with the muckymucks. This will be killing my darlings. I like these chapters, but I think the book might be better if I stick to street level. Keep it real.

The magic realism is halfway between real and magic, and it is entirely possible that I'll tip all the way over to magic if I think it will make a better story. (It would also probably make it easier to market, frankly, and if I'm not going to attempt mainstream, which I have no intention of doing, I'll have to self-publish this and that seems to go nowhere.)

This is a different writing experience than I've had over the last 4 years or so. In a way, I've turned human. Normal writing blocks. I had that miracle year, followed by two strong years, but I always suspected that the blistering pace wouldn't continue forever.

But I'm by no means discouraged. This book has tons of potential and I think slowing it down might even be good for me.

One of the books I wrote last year was called "I Live Among You." It was a straightforward, first-person narration, requiring no research, very little rewriting. Wrote it fast. Done.

Thing is, it might be Linda's favorite book. In other words, the ease of writing didn't seem to affect the quality. And yet...I could write this kind of book all the time and it wouldn't be the slightest challenge.

The point is, I need a challenge. I've proven I can write books, now I need to try for more depth. How do I get more depth? Well, it can be hard to write a book deeper and smarter than I actually am, right? But I think time and research can fill in some of the gaps. A little more time thinking about it will plumb into whatever depths I have, and research will bounce ideas off of what I already know. Living with the characters longer will let me get to know them more. The fictional realm is somehow both inside and outside of me and my subconscious can provide surprising glimmers. I don't know. It's a strange process, but I do believe I can write a book smarter and deeper than I am, as impossible as that sounds.

That's my theory, at least. 

I'm starting to feel like a stranger in my own store. A kid came sauntering in, stopped abruptly and looked at me in shock.

"Who are you!" he exclaimed.

"Uh...I'm the owner."

"I've never seen you before!"

I've noticed over the last year or so that I'll be in the store with Matt or Cameron and a customer will ask a question, and I'll break in with my two cents worth and the customer looks at me with fish eyes, like "Who the hell are you? I was talking to the other guy."

It's a very strange experience after being "The Man" for decades.

For years I was aware of every little detail. I had an encyclopedic memory of my stock. I could answer almost every question.

Now I'm stumped lots of the time. I've resorted to saying they should ask Cameron or Matt, which feels lame to me.

But I made the decision to write full time. That's worked out well for my writing career. I always intended to watch carefully how the store was doing and come back if things looked like they were going off course, but they instead continued to improve.

I'd probably work two days a week instead of one if I could figure out a way--but both Matt and Cameron need their hours. For the first year or so, I still felt connected.

I turned the ordering over to Cameron--all but new novels. If he was going to run the store he needed that power, and sure enough, his choices aren't always my choices. But sales and margins are good, perhaps better than they would have been if I was doing the ordering.

Youth will be served.

I would have been both more conservative and less. More conservative in what my budgeting goals were, and less conservative in actually achieving them. I've said for years that I needed a CFO, someone who would ride herd on the budget, and with Cameron I basically have one. He sticks to the budget goals the way I never could.

The store feels vibrant and connected, even if I'm not...

Cameron and Matt are connected to comics in ways I never was. I mean, I did the job by sheer dent of effort, not because I totally understood what I was doing. So the comic part of the business seems open to growth, new and younger customers. Our subscription list is reaching levels it hasn't been in over a decade.

The boys are great at games, too.

I've been doing a decent job at books, and I've been turning my attention to those and it shows. So the store is doing great without me, and rather than feeling left out, I should be glad.

Right?


Yesterday was a great example for never giving up.

I started writing a book awhile back about terrorists setting off fires out west. "Fires of Allah" is the working title.

Started writing around noon but nothing came. None of my usual tricks worked. Problem is, this book has twice been coitus interruptus, so it's a little...hmm...hard to get my....hmm....mojo back. Finally, at around 5:00 as I was headed out for my walk, I had a glimmer of an idea.

Sat down on my walk and wrote it, and I thought it was OK.

As I walked back to my car it suddenly occurred to me how I should write this book. I've always wanted to write a Magic Realism tinged novel. Something that a fantasy reader would like but so would a non-fantasy reader.

What if I treated the fire as a separate character--as a Jinn, if you will?

I added this element to the chapter I'd just written and it improved it dramatically. I started to see how I could insert this idea all the way through the book. The Koran mention Jinn 37 times, almost always in conjunction with fire.

"Smokeless fire." "Scorching fire."

How perfect is that?

So that's where I'm going.

I also have decided that I will probably jettison the upper bureaucratic layer of characters. When the big time literary agent asked for a "100 kickass pages" and to make it "big" I sort of went generic thriller, including a "special assistant" to the president and an astronaut and a bunch of other suits; adults in an adult world.

I mentioned, I'm not comfortable writing about this--almost all my ideas about this world come from other books, movies and TV shows. What do I know?

Whereas, the rest of the book is written at street level, if you will. The actual firefighters and terrorists. (Don't ask me how terrorists are more relateable than muckymucks, but somehow they are.)
Part of this comfort comes from the fact that these firefighters are more or less neighbors, they live where I live, and I can get a sense of them. Also, I'm doing a lot of research, reading memoirs of firefighters, so I can get at them that way.

So there are several chapters in the first half of the book that I'm probably going to jettison, or at least cut way, way down. I think I can do that (which probably means they weren't necessary in the first place.)

Thanks a lot, Mr. Agentman for steering me wrong.

Anyway, I feel like this book has a ton of meat to it, lots of thematic possibilities. And the Magic Realism aspect makes it possible to try to be a little poetic.

I read the new chapter to my wife, Linda, last night and she really liked it.

Glad I didn't give up.

Magic Realism. I get some weird notions about writing sometimes. Yesterday on my walk, it occurred to me that I should write Fires of Allah as magic realism. What that would mean, I wasn't clear. I have a "sense" of it, but whether I could actually do it, I'm doubtful.

I had an interesting experience after reading One Hundred Years of Solitude. Everything I wrote for weeks after mimicked that style, without meaning to. It was just so influential that I couldn't escape it.

I do enjoy some magic realism books. I loved Damascus Gate by Robert Stone. The story almost tipped into magic the entire way, but never quite did. Even when the magic happens, like in One Hundred Years of Solitude where the young girl ascends to heaven, the style is such that it could all be an illusion, an interpretation, an unreliable memory.

What I like about magic realism is the blending of poetry in prose, the fantastic with the normal. The sense that we live alongside strange things that never quite manifest.

I get these wild ideas sometimes, but when it comes time to do them I don't quite have the chops. I can't really pull it off. My writing is usually straightforward, plot driven, if I'm lucky with some character development. Once in a while a chapter pops out that is more subtle, and the stronger for it. But it happens almost by accident. Mostly, I have an idea and I just do it.

Plot driven adventure books with hooks is just the kind of book I like to write. And not coincidentally, the kind of books I mostly read.

Back to "Fires of Allah." It's good to be doing fiction again. It feels right.

I had to break off halfway through in order to go finish Tuskers IV.

Then, when I came back to "Fires of Allah" a couple of months ago, I just couldn't get a handle on it. Couldn't find an entry point. Decided not to force it. Intended to take only a month off, then went and wrote the first draft of my business book.

So two months off from writing fiction.

This time, I've got a pretty good idea of where I want to go.

This is a straight thriller. Nothing supernatural, not even anything fantastical (like poisonous black sea snakes.) I have thought of adding a Jinn to the story. That would work perfect with the theme of the story. I want to see how it comes out first as a straight thriller.

I was so happy with the way "Snaked" came out that I'm hoping to duplicate the experience. What it means is--trust completely in the subconscious. Completely. But also put some thought into it. Both at the same time.

At 40K words in, my task now is to both broadened and accelerate the story. The way to do that is to ramp up the danger. The way to do that is to bring the "bad guys" to the fore. Let them do their dirty work, then have the heroes respond. Pretty much action chapters from now on. All the characters and situations have been established.

I'm already settling into the fictional dream, which is where I like to live.



What a trip!

I've been reading 25 years worth of business journals, and while some of it is familiar, a lot of it isn't.

It took me far, far too long to realize that sports cards were going to decline to nothing. I wasn't sure where comics were going to go; or if they would ever come back. Pokemon and Beanie Babies and Pogs weren't sure things until they were.

Basically, I didn't know what was going to happen. Duh. I know what I know from hindsight; at the time I had no knowledge of the future.

I feel almost sorry for the guy in these journals. It's a tangled knot of worry and stress, even considering the journals were created to vent. 

I probably should have been more alarmed in the mid-90's over my debt, but I was managing to pay them right up to 1997, when Congress gave banks the right to jack up rates and penalties. Then, Bam!. It was a problem.

Sold the mall store in 1997, and by 1999, I have the first comment: "I think we're going to make it."

I tried way more things than I remember that didn't work. I had more competition than I remember. I paid attention to every little detail, down to a few bucks. I was hanging on for dear life, and making deals with everyone--customers, wholesalers, landlords--anything to get through. I had a mono-maniacal focus on survival.

There's a fair bit of anger and bitterness toward what I perceived as underhanded and stupid practices by others. 

There was the moment when I started to go my own way, even when it was the opposite of everyone else.

But mostly constant worry and disappointment and an occasional nice day. I don't talk about debt much, even though that was the root of the problem and when that debt was retired in 2004, suddenly everything got better.

I'm glad I read these journals, but I'm never doing it again.



Re-writing History.

When you own a business for as long as I have, a narrative develops. A story of how I survived, with warnings and reassurances. Warnings not to make the same mistakes. Reassurances that I made it through.

Looking back on it now, I'm more forgiving of my mistakes. So much of it I couldn't have known, nor was there much I could do about it. The mistakes I made were understandable mistakes.

The reassurances are now tempered by the realization of just how hard it was--not just on me, but on my wife.

In reading my notes for this book, my narrative is changing. I've come up with 5 distinct periods of my store, between 6 and 7 years long, each detailing a different situation. It kind of make sense of the blur of the last 32 years.

1984-1989.  The Boom.

An exciting time of growth, lots of planning, lots of stress but all of it good.

1990-1997. The Crash.

I expanded too fast. There was a collapse in the sport card market, then a collapse in the comic market. I used credit cards to make it through and built up tremendous debt.

1998-2003. Hunkering Down.

It was all about survival. I had no cash, no credit. 40% of gross profit went toward debt. I worked every day.

2004-2010. The Revival.

Debt was paid off, sales started to increase, but I didn't let up. Spent most of that time building up inventory, even when the Great Recession hit. (I saw it coming and while it affected us, of course, it was easily managed.)

2011-2016. The Maturing.

Finally have the inventory level needed, the mix of product that works. Workable budgets and management procedures. Livable income and time off. Hurrah.

Out of 32 years, 14 of them were miserable, and seven of them neutral, and the others were O.K. to good.

Would have been nice if I could have skipped the middle 14 years.

It's easy to see how and why I didn't write. It's easy to see how the years passed so quickly.




Going through 35 years of journals, looking for nuggets of wisdom for the Small Business Survivalist Handbook.

Not going to be able to use much, but it certainly is edifying.

First of all, a third of the stack is actually fiction fragments. Beginnings of innumerable stories, snippets, ideas, poems, misc. Never really did give up writing altogether, especially in those first few years. Most of these stories I don't remember writing at all.

The early business notes are almost all to-do lists, business plans, notes to myself, calculations. It's amazing how much analysis I did in that first decade.

The mid-nineties are when I really started a journal. The entries are surprising clear-eyed, but specific to the circumstances at the time. This is when things were going off the rails, but the credit card problem hadn't really started. (It was happening, but the crunch didn't come for a couple of years.)

Unexpected, while things are going wrong, I give the tone of observation. Not as much sturm and drang as I would have expected. I'm not really as bitter and angry in these journals as I was later; again, probably because I hadn't started my seven year slog of working every day yet and still had some perspective.

The journals in the early 00's are mostly just day-to-day ups-and-downs; not lots of insight, just either "Oh, great! Business is better than I expected!" Or "Damn. Business sucks." Not very informational. There's a bit of underlying bitterness going on.

By the way, my first mention of "overbuilding" in Bend was in 2002. Heh.

Everything changes when I pay off the debt in 2004. Still tight as I'm building my inventory back up to sufficient levels, but the stress is much reduced. Started hiring again, but there is residual bitterness.

Then in 2006, I start doing my journal on my blog, The Best Minimum Wage Job a Middle Aged Guy Ever Had. A lot of these entries, where they involve the business, could actually go right into the book, actually. So I'm going to concentrate on these  last 10 years worth of entries.

I wish I had snappy journal entries all the way through that I could use to frame my business story, but it doesn't look like anything is usable until all the crisis's were over and I started making money again.

I think I'm going to toss all this stuff out when I'm done. If ever there was going to be a use for it, it's for this book. Most of it is just crap.


One of my Small Business Survivalist Handbook chapters is about burn-out, which I think afflicts most owners after a few years.

My basic job as a storekeeper is to go to work every day, to keep the location clean and tidy, to deal with customers, and to order and then stock material.

These are the bare essentials.

Guess what? I'm usually not able to accomplish those tasks within store hours. Much of my ordering takes place extracurricular.  Most of my day is taken up dealing with customers.

So imagine, if you will, all the services and events and promotions that most stores are expected to provide.

Hiring someone to help doesn't make it any simpler. I've never done a more complicated thing than hiring another person, who comes with their own complexities. In fact, I think it takes twice as much work to train a person as to do it myself.

Once they're trained, they still have to be paid. If you have a Mom and Pop sized business, chances are whatever extra profits you generate by having help will be soaked up by said help.

So all the advice that most business books give about how to add more service to your business is almost guaranteed to burn out the owner. Each little thing may not seem like much, but they rapidly accumulate and most of them can't be taken back once they are offered.

This goes for anything extra you might be tempted to do. Sell online? Extra. And you'll be competing with people who do it full time.

It's always been kind of an insult when someone thinks they can buy a business and do it outside their regular work. Do they think their store will be any less intensive than the job they're already doing? 

Keep it simple, and only add complexities once you're certain you can keep up--if then. If you are honest and reliable and helpful and carry the stuff people want, then you are doing your job.

Adding coffee to your store isn't required.


Funny little meme I ran across: "What Everyone Desperately Wishes You'd Stop Doing, Based On Your Myers-Briggs Personality type.

INTJ: Talking to everyone like you’re a wise sage from the future, sent back in time to lecture them on the foolishness of their actions and thoughts.

Nailed me!

It's funny, because I'm writing a non-fiction book, The Small Business Survivalist Handbook, with exactly that tone.

Finishing the first draft today, then digging into my 20 years of journals looking for material. Don't really know what I'll find.

Always feels good to do the first draft. It always signifies that it will become a book of some kind.

Four years ago, I cleared out my everyday schedule to do nothing but write. It has made me incredibly productive.

But when I'm not writing, going on two months, life starts feeling oddly empty. Writing non-fiction is more like a job, a task. It isn't a deep dive into an alternate world.

I miss my alternate world of the moment. Much like when I don't read for long periods of time. A book is always an ongoing place that is alongside my waking moments.

I took a break on purpose. I've already filled next year with books from publishers, and could easily self-publish for a couple years after that. So I'm way ahead of the game. I decided it wouldn't hurt to take a break and assess what I want to do.

I thought it was possible I might want to try something different, try for the mainstream.

Instead, I came to the opposite conclusion. I like my little niche and I think I'll stick to it. I like genre. I like adding a little supernatural or SF element to most of my stories. "Snaked" came out well, and it has no supernatural or SF, but it certainly has the 'fantastic.'

Anyway, I missed my walk yesterday out of pure laziness (well, actually, because my normal time fell between me recording TV shows, which is somehow worse..)

Told Linda this morning that I'm taking a walk today no matter what; neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow would stop me from my appointed walk. I don't care if I run into packs of cougars (the animal kind...well, either kind) or break both legs or...I don't care, I'm going walking.

I'm dedicating October to finishing The Small Business Survival Handbook. But come November 1, I'm writing fiction no matter what.

Writing a non-fiction book is a completely different experience than writing a novel.

With a novel, I live within a fictional dream bubble for days at a time. My whole focus is on incubating that bubble, keeping it afloat, and writing within it.

With non-fiction, I just pick a subject and sit down and write it. I'm basically relying on my 35 years of mulling over my business. Small business is probably the only subject that I could write about authoritatively.

It doesn't take much to get started. I set out on my walk with a subject in mind and it comes spilling out.

I've got 8 chapters left in the first draft. All 8 subjects lined up. Each chapter is about 1000 words. Short and pithy. It wouldn't hurt to make them even shorter and pithier--but I also want to create an attractive author's voice. The tone is actually something I have to decide on. I can be folksy or blunt or trollish or modest or stern or whatever.

I don't want to force the voice, I want it to be natural. It will probably end up being like my blog posts only more polished. I feel prepared to re-write, which is not something I usually look forward to. Non-fiction seems to be different that way.

I don't know if this Small Business Survivalist Handbook is going anywhere, but I always wanted to do it anyway. So now I've done it.

My editor wants to include illustrations, and that's a great idea, but as always the problem is with the artists. Hard to find anyone reliable that I can afford and does quality work. One of the reasons I'm a book writer not a comic or graphic novel writer is because working with artists is really hard. Artists have their own agenda.

Better to just do my own thing.

As soon as I'm done with the first draft, I'm going to dip into my years of notes and see what I can find. I'm sure more subjects will come up, that I'll find more to say. It's always a little fascinating and little cringe-worthy to read over old diary posts.

I'm feeling pretty upbeat because I'm almost done with the first draft, which means this thing is happening, one way or another.


The Small Business Survival Handbook is going to require a lot of rewriting. Which, unlike my fiction, I seem to be willing to do.

My assertions need to be clear, my arguments marshaled carefully. I want evocative and interesting examples, well-formed sentences, almost aphorisms.

I'm not saying I'm smarter or savvier than other business owners, but that I have 37 years experience, that I learned much of what I know by trial and error, more more often error and error. That my conclusions are often the opposite of perceived common wisdom.

I'm not saying my conclusions will be right for everyone, but it wouldn't hurt to consider them, and to also treat the common wisdom with a smidgen of salt.

There wasn't anything like this handbook when I got started--I still think there isn't. Most business books are boosterish. I'm not trying to be a troll about it, but just saying, "Watch out. What everyone tells you might be wrong."

I'd be a wizard.

Without intending to, I've collected a number of books that are your basic "how-to" for simple survival tricks and frontier fixes.

It's occurred to me that if civilization collapses my books would be some of the most valuable things around..

The lost arts. It would be the equivalent of having magic tomes, full of spells.

I mean, I'd have to have some engineer types around me, and a few military guys to guard me. People would come to me from far far away for answers.

Unless, of course, I shared them. But then, what currency would I have? Heh. I'd have to have apprentice wizards to actually go out and institute my "spells" without giving away the secrets.

There's a story there.

Worked the weekend at the store while my guys were gallivanting around at the comic show in Portland. I have to admit, dealing with so many people does tend to wear me out. Slept like a rock the last two nights.

But it's also wonderful that the store is so active, even in September, even on Sundays. I just need to cast back to yesteryear and remember what a struggle is used to be.

The store mix still appears to be right on. We've seen some increased competition in games lately, but I've been expecting that for years, so I'm not all that surprised. Books are doing better every month. Comics and graphic novels are doing well.

Linda's store, the Bookmark,  is officially for sale. She just turned 68, and it's time. We have a couple years to sell the store, so it will be interesting. Bend is growing so fast that I think there is a chance someone will buy it, and it would be a great way to make a living for someone.

Still working on The Small Business Survival Handbook. My plans right now are to finish a first draft this month, then dive into my journals and see if there aren't diary entries I can use as framework to the book, and try to cull particularly sharp aphorisms and insights.

I have to prepare myself for a mndtrip. There are times when I find my own words fascinating, and there are times when I think, "What a jerk." I used my journals to vent. Saying things I didn't really mean. It was a harmless way to blow steam.

Anyway, send it off to Jared to edit in about 6 more weeks. I don't intend to get bogged down in this non-fiction thing forever. This will already take longer than normal. But at the bare minimum, I want to get back to novel writing by the first of next year.

My publishing schedule is pretty much fixed for the foreseeable future. So that's cool. I'm ahead of the game and quite satisfied with my progress. On the self-publishing front, I'd like to get Star Axe and Snowcastles/Icetowers out in December, and I'm thinking I'll release my little Gothic lovestory, "Gargoyle Dreams" in January. I like this book a lot, but it doesn't really seem to fit with the publishers I'm dealing with. All of them have passed at the very idea of it. heh.

Had a mystery novelist come in the my store, who is established. Someone I've heard of. She lives in Bend and I was properly impressed. However, there was the hint of patronizing in her tone toward me. I didn't take offense. I think that is the way of things. There is always a hierarchy, though I manage usually to step outside of that and look at what I'm doing for myself as for myself.


I'm still holding onto my good news, though it is agonizing. But hopefully I'll be able to announce it soon.



Called the local Barnes and Noble and asked them to carry the three Tuskers books. The manager was obliging, even saying he'd order some copies of Led to the Slaughter even though it is non-returnable.

Tuskers are fully mainstream now. Regular discounts and returns and all that.

Manager wasn't able to tell me if the national chain as a whole was going to carry the books. I don't expect that, but it would be cool if they did.



Meanwhile, I'm still holding onto my good news. Was asked not to talk about it. Sorry to vaguepost.



Writing my business book is a very different experience than writing a novel. With fiction the trick is to stay in the "fictional dream" from day to day, and to keep telling the story.

With non-fiction it's like starting fresh every day. All I need is a topic and I can come up lots of material. I've got 30 years worth of thinking about it, of having refined my observations. They just come out on the screen in a distilled way.

I'll probably have to do more rewriting on this than I'm accustomed to. The point is to be sharp and clear.

I wish there was more of an organizing principle. For instance, from the beginning of my store to the end; or connected categories. But so far it's been more intuitive than that. It's also more piecemeal, resulting as I mentioned above in starting fresh each day. Each chapter is a distinct unit, like writing an essay.

I'm beginning to realize that this is going to take longer than my fiction. The first draft may be similar, but the rewriting will probably take some time.

We're trying to get this illustrated. I think that would be a very cool thing, but the question is can we afford it? We're still looking at that.

Something will come out--whether it will be completely refined or just more like a collection of my blog posts remains to be seen.


Organizing a non-fiction book is the real challenge to my Small Business Survivalist Manual.

I have all the material in the world. I could probably write a 1000 page book fairly easily.

The only reason I decided to attempt this book was because I figured out a way to do it that didn't require an overly structured framework.

I figured I could just pick a topic and riff on it.

There is quite a bit of crossover in subject matter. Little anecdotes or examples that could be used for more than one subject. So far I'm just letting it flow and trying not to repeat myself. I'm not sure this is going to work out in the end. It may need a little more organization.

Jared asked if he could go through my two foot stack of journals and I declined, because those journals are full of negativity. It's how I handled the stress. I wrote in them rather than talk my wife's ear off, trying to keep from complaining about the same subjects in my store.

But I let myself write anything I wanted, even if I knew at the time I was wrong. I let myself vent.

So there is a lot of anger and bile and frustration and complaining going on in those journals. I wouldn't come across as a very nice guy.

There are also probably nuggets of real insight and aphoristic phrases that could be used.

When I'm done with a first draft, I'll plunge into these notes and see if there is anything that can be extracted.

I've never liked reading my diaries. Most often over the years I've tossed them. But for some reason I held onto these journals. I think I suspected I would want to write a small business book someday. After writing my novels and getting in the habit of daily writing and realizing that it just takes steady persistence, all it took was a little urging from Jared, and I was off and running.

Whether it will make sense to anyone else, I can't be sure. I'm almost certain that not everyone will agree with my conclusions, but that doesn't mean those conclusions can't be useful. Even disagreeing at least gets the reader to examine process.

Hopefully I can get this off my chest once and for all.