For purposes of shorthand, I call idea generation, "glimmers."

I call them "glimmers' because it is best to keep them vague and shimmering at first, before they calcify into something I can't change.

They come in two types.

First, the plot generation glimmers, which is the overall direction, theme, character development I'm shooting for. "Premise" feels like too solid a word for this, but I need to have strong glimmers of these things before I start a book. If the underlying ideas aren't strong enough, they won't carry the day and the story will peter out. That happens occasionally, though I'm pretty careful these days not to just go off half-cocked.

"The Toad King" was a little bit under-cooked before I started it, because I figured the character was interesting enough to carry the story and because I meant it as a novella. As it happens, the character was strong enough for about 2/3rds the story, but came up a little short in overall story generation, so I've struggled a bit.

I've got it now, so that's good. I have a glimmer of how I want the plot to go.

Secondly, the specific glimmers that bring the scenes alive. So for instance, in this current chapter I've come up with the idea of the Toad King robbing the main temple, with the help of Quarry and Marna.

However, that's all I had.

What I needed was "how" and "when" and "why" and "what" happens. I need telling detail, character actions, scene-setting, all of that.

Again, just as it is dangerous to start a book without strong enough premises,  it is dangerous to start a chapter without sufficient visual and auditory glimmers. I mean, I can do it with just single glimmer sometimes, but the story always seems thin to me when I do that. I've learned to gather a dozen or more glimmers before I'd actually start the chapter. (My walks were especially useful for that--but I haven't walked for two months...)

Yesterday, I sat down to write the robbery chapter, and nothing came. Nothing at all.

Rather than force the issue, I didn't start.

Just before bed, I had two glimmers. One--that the good guys harness a Monster of the Abyss to be the diversion, and Two--they rob in the daytime.

Today, I've come up with about a dozen more glimmers, enough to start the chapter.

Usually I come up with a dozen more glimmers in the course of writing, along with the business at hand, hopefully for a fully fleshed-out story. This process hasn't been as smooth as usual lately, but I've had lots of distractions. But little by little, it's coming together.

As long as the glimmers keep coming, I can keep writing. It scares me to death sometimes that the glimmers feel so fragile and vulnerable.

I just have to keep the faith they're there waiting when I'm ready.

Started to tell  Linda about the ending of The Toad King, of which I had a hazy view. In telling it to her, it more or less came together, with a couple of crucial improvements.

I think I've got this.

I've decided I like novellas (20 or 30K words.) They require a plot, but not too much of a plot. They require characterization, but I can also play with themes and mood. A bunch of novellas put together can make a pretty good novel.

I don't usually read short stories or novellas, but I've seen them done well in books. A couple of great examples is Tuf Voyaging by George R. R. Martin, which is a series of short stories about an intergalactic trader. Another example is The Fall of Hyperion, by Dan Simmons. I liked the first book, Hyperion, but I liked this collection of novellas even better. (It may have been long short stories, I'm not sure.)

Anyway, I have in mind a whole series of these stories for my "Tales of the Thirteen Principalities," with a common book design. Not the huge commitment of a novel, but also without the difficulty of a short story. (I'm not sure I know how to write short stories.)

At least for now, novellas seems to be a length that is comfortable, now that I've gotten busy with other things.

I do love the fantasy. Always have. So I still have an ambition to write an Epic Fantasy, but I just don't want it to be another quest, or mimic Martin, Tolkien, Jordan, or any of the others. I wanted it to be something which really captures me, because I'm probably going to live with it for a long while.

I have too many ideas, I think.

An Epic fantasy consisting of Novellas may actually be the way to go.

The Toad King is unpredictable. He's strange and funny and a little alien. He's is full of braggadocio and doubt and empathy and greed.

His voice should be unique and fun, especially since his story is being told in first person/present tense.

For the last couple of chapters, the Toad King has been just your normal adventure narrator. It's not completely wrong, because the story needed to move in a adventure direction and that required him doing things that were somewhat predictable.

But no more. The Toad King controls this story, not the plot!

I need to really nail down the Toad King's voice for the rest of the book. He needs to be quirky and surprising and a little bit alien.

So that's my goal for the day. To find that strangely smiling voice. 

Worked on the problem chapter all day and I think I made it much better. Enough for me to comfortably continue with the story.

Have about 12K words to write, or about 8 to 10 chapters. So I think it's time to work out the rest of the plot before I go on. Or at least have a clue.

I'm feeling confident it will come together somehow, but I'm waiting for that aha moment. I feel the elements starting to come together, but they aren't there yet.  I have "Said the Joker, To the Thief" to draw upon. The Mirror God Covenant provides lots of material.

I'm pretty sure what the overall purpose of the Toad King's journey is-- the McGuffin of the story is the Mirror God statue. It's a key, somehow, to unleash the Mirror God. Other than that, I'm a little hazy.

But the subconscious is working on it, I hope. I trust it is.

I'm struggling a little with my writing, which is rare. My routines have been totally disrupted over the last couple months. The weather has been the worst problem. I tied my writing process a little too closely to my daily walks in the desert. I haven't been able to walk for months and it's been hard to establish a new routine.

Selling Linda's store was complicated and stressful. I've had to work at my own store more, and that will probably continue. Selling a book to a major publisher was very stressful. After the acceptance, I was so charged up I couldn't do anything for a few days. Linda very much wants to move to a new house this spring, and that will probably be the most stressful and disruptive of all.

All of these things have been "Hurry up and wait."

I had a good string of four years of writing, especially the first two years. The last two years have been fruitful too, and I'm probably a better writer these days.

Anyway, rather than tackle a full novel,  I decided to write another novella in the "Tales of the Thirteen Principalities." ("Said the Joker, to the Thief" was the first novella.) I decided to write about the Toad King because I liked him so much as a character.

However, I didn't think it out much more than that. So I've hit the halfway point and I'm feeling stuck, like it isn't going where I want it to go.

I'm throwing out yesterday's chapter and trying something new. I introduced a character called Scoundrel, but he's just a stock fantasy character, a strong and silent warrior, Conan-like. I thought it over last night and decided to change him to a physically weak guy, so honorable he's almost simple-minded, but incredibly brave. I'm calling him Quarry.

"Because he is hunted?" I ask.
Marna snorts. "No...because he's a rock. You ever tried talking to a rock?"

In other words, I'm trying to feel my way. Inspiration isn't coming to me, so I need to be sure I don't just put out something bland.

The place they meet Quarry is on top of a mountain, but again it felt kind of generic. I'm rethinking that as well. I decided that my model should be Frodo and Sam meeting Faramir. Those were some great scenes in LOTR. I need to be more original.

I'm hoping my process will come back to me, that it's just because I've been interrupted so much lately, not because I've lost it. But I don't want to force it, even if what I write is 80% of the way there. Eventually, if I have to, I will do that.

But for now, I'd like to have that feeling of inspiration I've mostly had over the last few years. I'd like that flow to return, and I need to find ways to incubate it, despite all the disruptions.

Nice article in the Bulletin about Josh and Heidi Spencer, the couple who bought our used bookstore, The Bookmark.

I have been very impressed by them. Smart and energetic.

There was one line in the story that made me wince. About how they were undecided about whether to carry on our "no frills" approach.

It was interesting in talking to Josh, that there was almost a checklist in my head of things that I had considered doing and then decided not to, but which he had done or was going to do.

After thinking about it for a few days, I decided that neither of us are wrong. It's just that I've had the Bend experience of the last 30 years, which is somewhat unique and probably taught me lessons different from other places.

Most towns don't grow as fast as Bend has in our tenure here. Most towns don't go bust quite as often or as deeply.

There was a very good reason I was "no frills." Because that's what allowed us to survive in this environment.

So businesses come to Bend all the time, and they do it "right." That is, they do all the frills, they do all the accoutrements, they do it "big time." Which is just great as long as business continues to be good. But...when things are tight, those extra things drag them down.

It isn't that they aren't doing a good job, that they don't know their stuff, that they aren't hard working or smart. Usually, they're smarter than me. But they make the fundamental mistake of not calibrating their business to what Bend will actually provide over the long run.

I'm not worried about Josh and Heidi. I think they have the right approach for this time and environment, plus they have plenty of resources that I never had.

But that doesn't mean my approach was wrong either.

"I Live Among You" is now "Live" on Amazon.

It costs 2.99, or free on Kindle Unlimited (I get paid for every page read).

I think it's a bright fast read you'll enjoy.

I know it is probably undignified to ask you guys to buy it, but...well, I've been writing this blog for 10 years and I'd like to believe that those of you who read it are on my side. So please support my efforts if you can.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01NB07A3E/

Went out to the Badlands to see if there was any possibility of walking on my usual routes. Not a chance. Not only heavy snow, but where there wasn't snow were puddles and slush.

Damn. I really, really miss walking.

Meanwhile, it started snowing tonight.

Linda is a woman of leisure as of an hour ago. I was the one who was all sentimental about leaving the Bookmark. We handed over the keys and left Josh in there at 6:00 and drove away. I told Linda, "That's exactly what I would have done. Lock the doors and explore."

So it looks like I sold a book to a major publisher. I'm not allowed to say anything more. I've been excited about that for several days. Along with selling the store and having to do all the moving stuff out and changing and all, I haven't even attempted to write in the last week.

The book I sold to the publisher is going to be a long term project, (the editor has warned of changes and traditional publishing takes more than a year anyway) so I can't put things on hold waiting. I'm going to keep writing my novellas that I'm calling, "Tales of the Thirteen Principalities." I'm halfway through The Toad King, and I'm going to start back up on Friday.

Tomorrow, (today as you read this), I'm going to start putting my book, "I Live Among You" on Amazon. Don't know if I'll get it done in one day, but it will be up soon. Followed in the next couple of months by an "Audio" version by Cameron.

I'm probably going to publish either "Gargoyle Dreams" or "The Last Fedora" around May. "Tuskers IV" should come out this summer from Ragnarok, and "Snaked" this fall from Cohesion.

So things are progressing nicely. I'm hoping this new publisher will be an opportunity, but I'm going to have to think of premises they might like, instead of just going off and writing whatever comes to me. (I mean, I'll probably do both.)

My routines have been totally disrupted. The weather, the sale of the Bookmark, Matt quitting, the publisher...and Linda wants to move to a one-story house, so that is going to happen sometime before summer.

But I had almost 5 good years to do nothing but write, and that is way longer than I'd thought I have, and this is just one of those transitional phases we all go through.

Sold the Bookmark.

Linda and I have officially sold The Bookmark. Today is Linda's last day at the store, and then she is retired. We've been holding off talking about it until it was finalized.

I should leave it for the folks taking over the store, Heidi and Josh, to speak for themselves, but I will say this:

1.) They've told us they will honor people's credit at the Bookmark for a year. So if you have credit, get in there and use it.

2.) The new owners are going to take this to a whole new level. I know that's the kind of things people say, but this time it is true. They are smart and experienced and have plenty of resources. I think everyone is going to be impressed.

Finally, my store Pegasus Books is doing well, and I'm very happy with it, and I have no intention of going anywhere. I'm a few years younger than Linda plus I still like having a place to go to and hang out and talk to friends.

This worked out amazingly well for everyone, and we feel very lucky and blessed.

Thanks to everyone who came to the Bookmark. We are grateful and we'll miss you.

In a few more days, I'm going "LIVE"  with this book.


When the Devil comes a-calling, Grandy isn't surprised. He's a damned soul -- or so he thinks. When the urge comes over him, he kills without pity or remorse.

But the Devil isn't after his soul. Not just yet. He hires Grandy to infiltrate a cult which is planning to open a Portal to another dimension.  

The Old Gods await.

It's a jurisdictional issue. The Devil can't go where he isn't invited.

But Grandy can. 

This the most straightforward book I've written. Fun and quick and hopefully humorous. Told from a single first-person perspective.

It's also Linda's favorite book.

I've decided to make this an audio book, with Cameron Saunders doing the narration. I'm going to be really excited to hear how it sounds.

That's a whole new thing, and we'll have to figure it out, but I think this will sound good.

Daydreams.

A few years ago I read some advice from a well-known writer (I don't remember who), who said, "Daydreaming for a writer is a waste of time."

She was talking about the dreams all writers have of their book being bought and read and lionized.

In a way she's right. It is easy to delude yourself, to think you've got more talent than you have. I've always tried to be realistic about my abilities. I've told myself, "My books can't be any smarter, deeper, or more talented than I am."

But even though I understand what she's getting at, I couldn't disagree more.

In fact, I think that is some really fucked up advice.

Daydreaming is what fuels my efforts, even as cold reality is lurking. I imagine people reading my story and enjoying it; I imagine them passing it along to friends; I imagine them slotting it into a place of honor in their bookshelves.

None of that may happen, but the daydream of it can keep me going for the days, weeks, and months it takes to finish a book.

Daydreaming kicks into a higher gear when I send it off to an agent or publisher. Now I wait, and I hope, and I daydream. For weeks at least, and sometimes for months. During that time I wait, I keep my hopes up, even as I tell myself to be realistic.

It's unrealized potential, endless possibility.  Like Schrodinger's cat, my story is both alive and dead.

So I daydream. At the same time, I'm brutally realistic. I know, for instance, that when I send "Said the Joker, to the Thief" to Kindle Singles that I don't have a chance in hell. That I'm up against the Stephen King's and John Gresham's of the writing world. But just that tiny, tiny sliver of lottery odds is enough to daydream, even as I kick myself for daydreaming.

When I get back the (almost) inevitable rejection, I'm crushed for days, sometimes weeks. I ask myself if there is any point in continuing. And then it wears off; I accept the reality that was there all along even as I daydreamed.

So I write something new, and the daydreams start all over. I send it off and wait for weeks and months. In effect, I'm trading months of hopes for days of crushing rejection, and it seems like a fair trade.

I have faith in myself even as I know the odds. I don't let others tell me my chances, either those people who don't care (the vast majority) those who look down on me (though usually not blatantly to my face) and those well meaning people who have even more unrealistic expectations. ("When is the movie going to be made?")

There is a great scene in "La La Land."

SPOILERS!!!!

The heroine has just put on a one-woman show, writing her own script and stage design, hiring the theater. No one shows up. She gamely goes through with it, and then sits dejectedly in her dressing room.

She overhears some stagehands mocking her efforts, "...and she isn't even any good."

But in that audience happens to be the one stranger who can help her.

I've had that mocking happen to me. It's harsh and it's hard to overcome, though a little success can help put that in it's place.

And a whole lot of daydreaming.

I intend to publish "I Live Among You" around February 1st.

This is a short, first-person novel about a fellow who thinks he's serial killer but finds out he's something very different.

"When the devil came a-calling, I was too busy to notice."

It's Linda's favorite book, because it has a straight ahead plot, no detours. Cover by Andrew Hunt, design by Andy Zeigert.

I think it's the perfect book to try an audio version on. I've asked Cameron Saunders, my store manager and a good actor, to do the narration.  I want him to go as creatively crazy as he wants.

This is going to be an adventure. I have no idea how to go about this; how much it costs, what sort of equipment is required, how it is uploaded, how to price it, etc.

But it should be fun.

As you might imagine, this weather hasn't exactly been good for business.

But you know what? We're all right.

There was a time when this would have really hurt. But experience and liquidity have made it a non-event, in some ways. I figured out years ago a baseline daily average that we needed. Hopefully, that baseline would hold during even the worst events.

Well, that's what seems to have happened. Though business is down, it is still above that baseline. More importantly, the weather in mid-December was enough warning to be careful, and I kept my orders in line.

Therefore, the drop in business seems to have left us exactly where we'd be if business and orders were normal.

Big sigh of relief.

Linda and I have some big news in a couple of weeks. Sorry to vaguebook it, but it's good news.

Where did this come from?


Santa Got Caught In The Elevator.

It's 1960 and I'm 8 years old.
I want a BB gun for Christmas,
just like in that show.

On the back,
of every comic,
my parents don't approve
but Santa...will...deliver.

Sirens on
my way to school,
The snow up to my waist
for Santa's sleigh.

Firetrucks surround
the Pilot Butte Inn,
the only elevator in town.

Santa broke the elevator,
I hear them say,
the school bells chime
but I linger and stay.

I wander through the
hoses, the scrambling
cursing firemen.
Christmas is coming.

Santa has my BB gun,
and he's too fat,
He broken the elevator,
trapped like a rat.

They bring him out,
with an oxygen mask,
His beard askew
A man in a fat suit.

My friend Bill doesn't
believe, nor my sister Sue,
And in that moment
the North Pole fades.

I say goodbye
to the BB gun
and the X-ray glasses too.

"The Scorching" is done, done, done. I was going to do one more beginning-to-end editing, but I don't think it is necessary and might even be counterproductive. I'll do some polishing of the last four or five chapters over the next week or so, but other than that, I'm ready to send it on to Lara.

I'm doubting the idea of sending it to agents. I hate that process so much. I'm still a little undecided. Part of me says it wouldn't hurt to give it a shot, and then, if I don't get a satisfactory answer in three months, go ahead and publish it myself on May 1 or so.

Part of me says...why bother?

I'm so looking forward to writing something new. But...interestingly, I don't have any ideas right now. That's unusual. Just letting it come to me. I'm hoping for something fantasy and first person, but I'll know when it comes to me.

LATER: I've taken one of my favorite characters from "Said the Joker, to the Thief" and decided to write a novella about him. "The Toad King."  I started in first person and present tense, but decided I didn't like it. Besides, if I write a series of novellas set in the Thirteen Principalities, then I need to make them stylistically consistent. 

Time to remind myself that I enjoy writing.

I watched the movie "Genius" the other day, about the relationship between the editor Maxwell Perkins and the author Thomas Wolfe, about how they wrestled the huge manuscripts that Wolfe wrote into readable novels. So...two years of working every day on "Time and the River."

Well, you know, no offense to all involved but...Fuck That.

I tried something new with this latest novel. The only variable I could think to help improve "The Scorching" was time. Time and perspective. I seem to have a baseline talent and insight and depth and intelligence that I can't do much about. But give it time, I figured, and maybe I'll be able to add a few layers.

And yes, it did seem to help. But in very small ways. Incremental ways. A couple of months struggling with the right approach.

But the fundamental book is still there. I'm not sure that 90% of the readers would notice much of a change. Meanwhile, I'm bleeding confidence, I'm losing interest, I'm getting discouraged.

So was it worth it?

I think I learn best to write by writing. Each new manuscript is a chance to get it right. I enjoy the process and apply everything I learned from the last one I wrote. I become more comfortable.

I know there is a school of thought that you should challenge yourself. That you shouldn't settle for comfortable. But I wonder if that is right?

My theory on writing is that  doing what I like will improve my writing little by little because I'm learning new things by doing. It may be a slow process, but it's enjoyable. Not everything I write will see that light of day and that would probably drive some writers nuts, but I always figure there's more where that came from.

I'm looking forward to writing something that I enjoy. It's very freeing. 
 

My flagship title, my HMS Victory.

I was hoping "The Scorching" would be my flagship title. So I've sent it off, and intend to send it off on that basis. But I'm not sure I'm right.

I'm in writing limbo.

So I've got a couple of small indications that something could possibly happen. It's got me paralyzed.

Then I remember what I thought were my original odds, which were "Slim to None" and realize the small indications aren't enough to really sway those odds, and I get a little perturbed with myself for getting my hopes up.

But I can't seem to help it. The delusion is so strong that it keeps me writing, though in my saner moments I realize that the whole thing is extremely unlikely. Ironically, when nothing is happening, I can get things done, but give me the slightest hope, no matter how unlikely, and suddenly I'm frozen. ( I realize that I'm contradicting myself, but think of it long-term versus short-term.)

Haven't settled on my next book yet. I know that I'm going to write another Virginia Reed novel sometime this year. I know that I want to work on finishing the Lander books. But I'm not sure I want to do either thing just yet.

I very much enjoyed writing "Said the Joker, to the Thief," a straight fantasy novella. I think the way "I Live Among You" turned out was encouraging.

So I'm thinking I should combine the two things--first person narration and straight fantasy.

But I don't have a starting point.

I still need to give "The Scorching" its final polish, which I'm going to start tomorrow and finish by the end of the month. I'm sort of backing away from the idea of sending it to agents, for a couple of reasons. First of all, I think the whole agent, mainstream publisher route is likely to disrupt my writing to such an extent that it will be counterproductive. (The Limbo I'm in compounded.)

And secondly, though I hate to say it out loud, I don't think I quite hit the mainstream narrative I was hoping for. I mean, I like "The Scorching" but I think it's a little flawed in its approach. Nobody's fault. It's more than good enough to put out, but I don't know if its what I want to use as my flagship title.

I'm stuck in this process of writing something and then figuring out what it is. But as much as I'd like to think this all through in advance, all that happens when I do that is that nothing gets done.

Ultimately, it seems better to go off half-cocked and hope that something good happens, then to sit and stew about it and not create and even if I do create, still end up with many of the same problems.

The flagship title will happen. Right now, I'd say it's "Led to the Slaughter," or possibly "Tuskers," and depending on how well it sells, "Snaked." "Snaked" probably came out the best narratively, with some of my best writing and characters, so we'll see. If I had to show one example of my writing, it would probably be one of those three titles.

I think, if I keep writing, that one book will stand out, and of course, I always think my next effort will be my HMS Victory.

I Reckon.

Pulling out all the stops with "The Scorching," especially the first 3 chapters. Figure if I can hone them to a sharp edge, I have more of a chance of attracting an agent, so I'm really trying to get them right.

I'll probably try the old scattershot approach--a bunch of agents. What the hell. There seems to be about a 60% response rate, even for rejections.

I'm also going to send it to a couple of publishers who take unsolicited manuscripts. Again, the competition is fierce, to say the least. But no harm in trying, except to my ego.

I reckon my ego can take it. I reckon the odds are long. I reckon I can always go my own way. I reckon it ain't all about me. I reckon I got enough irons in the fire to take a few rejections. I reckon I'm fucked to start with. (And before anyone says, be positive, I'm sending off my manuscript to be judged, so there!) I reckon its all luck, timing, and who you know. I reckon either I'm good enough or I'm not, and I also reckon that whether I'm good enough or not, the chances of a fair judging are small. I reckon there are more writers than are needed in this world. I reckon that's just the way it is. I reckon sour grapes is a very unattractive attribute. I reckon it ain't sour grapes to believe the game is rigged. I reckon that in some parallel existence it happens, and maybe it's this one.

"The Scorching" is finished, more or less. If it was sent off the way it is, it would be more than fine. I'm going to set this version aside for a final polishing.

I also want to finish reading "Fire Line" over the next couple of days, more as background knowledge than anything else at this point. It's a very well written book; I even emailed the author (Michael Thoele, a U of O professor) to tell him so, which I've never done before.

I have Bren going over the first three chapters, since she tends to tighten my writing up, and I'm going to try to get input from writer's group. I'll see if Lara can do a quick edit. I will go ahead and send those chapters off later in the month to some agents. I don't expect anything, and I'm not going to let myself get tied up, but it's worth a try.

I'm still a little surprised that no one else has written a pyro-terror book. I wish there was a way to publicize it properly. Pyro-terror really is a possibility in the near future. Terrorism and wildfires are going to be in the news, for sure.

I did what I set out to do. I think my overall trend is toward incremental improvement with each new book. I certainly learn something each time.

All right. Took out all the chapter headings and time tags. Only cut the wordage by about 700 words, which surprised me. Cut a few pages.

It looks and feels much cleaner.

Also restored the original chapter sequence, which reads much better.

I'm now hesitant to change much else. When I start messing with the plot that's where I get in trouble. I'll just try to clean it up when I do the final rewrite.

Spent the rest of yesterday entering in the writer's group critiques. So really, I'm going to be done with all the preliminaries by the 10th or so.

I'll start my rewrite then, get it done by February 1.

I'm going to send the first 3 chapters to some agents, wait until May 1, and then go ahead and publish it myself if I haven't gotten satisfactory replies.

Meanwhile, "I Live Among You" is scheduled to be released on February 1. Right after the ebook is up, going to set off on a journey to get an audio version done, narrated by Cameron Saunders.

So, I seem to be on track, if only for myself.