July results.

The month was down more that I would have liked.  Can I blame the heat?

Profits were good -- though I can't always tell during the actual month but have to see what the residual effects are over the following months.

COMICS:  Down.  Not sure why.  Everyone is reporting great sales nationwide.  Good old Bend.

CARDS:  Down.  A couple of box sales either way...

CARD GAMES:  Down.  Not much control over this category.

GAMES:  Up.  That's encouraging.

BOOKS: Almost exactly the same.

This, folks, is why I added games and books...highest percent of sales since Christmas.

TOYS:  About the same.

GRAPHIC NOVELS:  Down, slightly.

Bend just isn't a comic town.  I actually feel like there is more potential in books these days...  The more good books I have, the more I sell.  The only thing constricting that is the amount of space.

More good books than I have room for...

I hate to say it, but Chris Ware's Building Stories was the last straw.  For ten years now I've tried to carry every significant independent title that is put out there.  There are dozens per month, of which a few are super important.  So I've always tried.

And they rarely sell.  At all.  Month after month.

Building Stories won just about every award.  It was sold out in most places during the Christmas season.

My one copy sat there all season and then on  into this year and it sits there still.  Lonely.   Untouched.  Not even looked at.

So -- like a movie theater admitting that art films don't pay, I've got to give it up.  I have to stick to proven sellers.

I'll be very very open to special ordering.  If someone so much as mentions a title, I'll probably order it.  But pursuing an art book policy when there is no art book clientele is just stupid.

How disappointing.

Well, I'll probably still get the most significant titles -- I'd probably still order Building Stories today, but I just won't do it as much or as often.

Part of it is that graphic novels have matured so much that no one bookstore can carry them all anymore.   Just like no one bookstore can carry all the books published.  For years, it was relatively easy to get just about every significant graphic novel that came out, but not anymore.

There was a period early on when a comic shop could order every comic, but those days are long gone -- at least for me.

So in some ways this is just a sign that graphic novels have become so viable overall that they don't require every shop carrying them to succeed anymore.

No days below 80 degrees, 17 days above 90 degrees.

The city absolutely butchered the evergreens on the corner.  They're building a new sidewalk there.

Here's the thing -- if you cut past the green foliage, it never grows back.  Never.  Visually, it's pretty  much a disaster -- not the slightest bit of finesse or aesthetic appeal.  I'm going to have to remove the evergreens completely, I guess.

Unbelievable.

*****

Meanwhile, my front lawn seems to be dying, despite being watered.  I can't figure out why.  Wrong kind of grass?  Not enough preparation of the ground before it was laid down?  Not enough fertilizing?

I may have to have the lawn replaced, as well as the front shrubs -- as well as the front steps which are disintegrating.

Oh, the joys of home ownership.

*****

Yesterday was one of the first days in a long time when I simply couldn't come up with my quota of words.  The character I'm writing is supposed to be extremely evil.  How do you write about extreme evil?

I've decided, you have to do it from a distance -- that is, the viewpoint character can't be the one showing the evil because no matter what you do, once you start narrating from that point of view you diminish it.  I think it has to be observed -- almost like a black hole where no feeling can emerge.

*****

Anyone else notice how the weather forecast has been, 85 degrees today....but it will be cooler later in the week.  And then later in the week gets here, and its: 85 degrees today...but it will be cooler later in the week.

I'll be amazed if this isn't a record month.  How many times did it drop below 80 degrees?  Did it ever drop below 80 degrees?

Looked it up -- nope.  No days below 80 degrees, and 17 days above 90 degrees.  Assuming today's high is 85 or so, the average temp was about 88.5.

Historically, it's 82 degrees.

I think what's worse is just how relentless it has been.

The last ten days of June were also in the high 80's and 90's.

I'm thinking about moving north when I retire.

*****

Selective perception.

It's amazing how many train crashes there are after a major train crash.  Or bus crashes.

I have to assume these are going on all the time, they just don't make it to the front page of the news until after a major disaster.

At the beginning of summer, I told Linda I was going to show her every time there was a motorcycle crash on the front page of the KTVZ news.  I've been amazed how many times that has happened.

Speaking of which, 7 out of the top 11 stories yesterday morning were about fires.  Fire season, indeed.

So -- I know this is all selective perception, both on my part and on the part of the media.

Still, it makes one wonder.

Vampire Evolution Trilogy.

I've written the first three chapters of Blood of Gold. 

I think there is a book here, and I have an overall theme.  But it hasn't reached that coalesced feeling I get when it all comes together.   A little too early for that.

The key is finding some new characters who I care about who are underdogs, who have to find their way to safety.  The older characters will start somewhat as background characters -- but I think I've found a way to throw them into trouble as well.  They've become powerful over the last two books, but I think there is a way to make the underdogs as well. 

Once they've been thrown into jeopardy I can take the established characters and pull them front and center.

It's important to have a people stories in the midst of the overall plot, which is getting bigger with every book.  

Looks like I'm going to be focused on this stuff for the next few months -- but at the end of the process, I'm hoping I'll have the "Vampire Evolution Trilogy:  Death of an Immortal; Rules of Vampire; and Blood of Gold -- up and online.  So I'll feel like I've accomplished something.

The rudder not the flow.

Ever since I started getting really serious about writing, I've been steadily progressing toward trusting my instincts -- my subconscious if you will -- more and more.

My main job seems to be to get out its way -- let it do its thing, make room and a safe time and place for it to emerge.  Not interfere or push it in the wrong direction.

My first book when I came back, Nearly Human, is more and more looking like my practice book -- that is, I made lots of mistakes and stumbled my way into figuring out how to write.  In many ways, I was rediscovering what worked for me last time.  The conscious mind is obvious and blundering and mistake-prone and gets in the way of the story.

I just have to trust that my subconscious knows what it's doing, and the more I trust it, the more it produces.

Just a small example.

In thinking about the third book in the Vampire Evolution series I realized a couple of weeks ago that I needed to get a major character over to England and had no idea how that was going to happen.

Then I forgot about it.

Yesterday, in writing the second chapter of the Blood of Gold, events conspired that the character had to go to England.  I wasn't consciously thinking about maneuvering the plot in that direction, it just happened.

It's a strange blend of conscious and subconscious.  I think about where and how I want the book to go, and then let the subconscious come up with the answers.  It's as if I'm just riding on a boat in a stream that I'm just flowing with -- I don't create the stream, but I guide the boat through it with a conscious rudder, trying to avoid the shoals and whirlpools. 

So much of my job is the care and nurturing and encouragement of this process.  Let the shy little creative part of me come out and speak.  Not saying or doing anything that will discourage it.

Letting it happen.

Writing as a time machine.

I've never heard this described before by anyone else.  Maybe it only happens to me.  Maybe it only happens because I write so prolifically.

It's been almost a year since I got very serious about writing.  In that time I've written a number of stories -- I'm a little embarrassed to say how many, suffice it to say that I've been very busy.

Anyway, it's a truism that as you get older time passes more quickly.  How I notice this is remembering an event in my past and thinking it happened only a short time ago, only to find that it happened way further back than I thought.  Meanwhile, when the new year turns it seems like you have a a whole year ahead of you, but a short time later, another year approaches.

I'm having the opposite temporal reaction to my writing.  It seems like ages ago that I went to Newport and holed myself in a motel room and wrote The Reluctant Wizard.  But it was only last September -- not even a year.  Then I started Freedy Filkins, International Jewel Thief; then Death of an Immortal...and so on.

I think what's happened is that when I'm immersed in a fictional world, it seems like a great deal of time is passing.  Events are happening to my characters, entire stories play out.  I'm lost in this never-never land that somehow feels real.  I've spent months and years beyond my normal span.  I've lived a whole nother life.

It's a little like the stories about fairy, where a mortal wanders in and spends a few delirious days with the elves and then comes back home to find that many, many years have passed.

It's a kind of mental time machine.

It's not why I do it.  But it does seem to be kind of a side bonus.

A single longshot event.

I wonder how many people can point to a single longshot event that completely changed their lives.  Maybe everyone can, but I kind of shudder to think what my life would have been like if I hadn't sent my first book off.

As I contemplate the publishing world and see how difficult it is to make any headway, I look back at the moment in my life when I quit my gas station job, holed up in my quad apartment, and pounded out Star Axe and sent it off.

When it got accepted, I probably overestimated its importance for a few years.  (The money wasn't enough to spread very far and while it hit the mass market, it didn't seem to stay there long.)  I'm glad I followed it up with two more books, so I don't have to believe it was a total fluke.

Then I probably underestimated the books' importance for a couple of decades until the internet came along and the books had a small revival.  Now I look back and shake my head at the sheer magnitude of the chance that all hinged on one longshot thing happening.

From that one unlikely event I regained my emotional equilibrium, I regained faith in my own instincts, I gained confidence, and I had a goal to strive for and take me out of myself.  From that, I joined writer's group and met Linda.  (The most important event in my life, but it would never have happened without me being a writer.)  From that came working at Pegasus Books and then buying the store.  From that came the blog writing and the current wave of writing.

It happened and it's a moot point.  But looking at the trajectory of my life to that point, I really do shudder to think of where it would have gone from there.

Amazon, Amazon, Amazon, churning the cash.

Amazon, Amazon, Amazon.

I hope nothing comes along and knocks you out.  Because if something comes along, then you will have spent years and years making no profits to no purpose.

What could come along?  Hell if I know.  I just know that something always comes along.  Something no one sees -- a technological leap, a new business model, a entrepreneurial genius, something....

That's why it's smarter to make profits as you go along.

Hopefully, there will still be some infrastructure outside the company that is still left to pick up the slack.

Ordering not what I want, but what I need.

I've managed to make moderate orders at Pegasus Books all year long.  Seems simple enough, but I've never managed to accomplish this goal before for this length of time.  Ordering not what I want, but what I need.

I'm reminded every summer how much business I do with out-of-towners.  Instead of 90% of the product needing to be reordered, like it is most of the year, suddenly only about half the product needs to be reordered.  This, even more than the increased sales, allows me to make a profit in the summer.

I have a target in mind that I need to reach to pay taxes.  Anything over that target and I'm going to spend it on product.  Probably won't be much.  But the best time to restock the store -- counter-intuitively -- is in the slow months, not the busy months.

I've treated the store as a mature business this year, not as a start-up that constantly needs to be built up for the future.  (Yeah, 33 years is a little long to be a start-up, but I really only started rebuilding this store back up about 10 years ago, after spending a decade limping along paying off debt...)

I'm tempted every day.  Deal, deals, deals.  But the store is stocked.   I need to maintain a good level and a good flow, but I don't need to keep building it, stockpiling it, squirreling away resources.

It is time to let the store function, which means not falling into debt and recovery patterns over and over again.  I'd like to turn that around, which means first I have to catch up, then hopefully I reverse the pattern and have profits that I can then spend forward.  I'm half a year into that process and it's very possible by the end of the year I will have turned the cycle around.

Sales are down slightly for the year, and profits are up slightly.  That's the trade-off.

I make the joke with people when they ask how I'm doing:  "Well, the store is 33 years old and even the stupidest person can learn how to do it if they have that long to learn."  (Not that dangers and mistakes don't forever lurk...)

Art is endless possibilities.

A couple of things I want to get off my chest today that I think are connected.

The first is an article I read not too long ago.  I didn't really pay that much attention to it at first, so I don't remember where I read it.  Basically, it said that with the internet, writer's don't have to wait forever for answers from publishers.

Therefore, writer's didn't have to waste so much time on "daydreaming" -- which was a useless and unproductive activity.

At the time I read it, I had a visceral rejection, though I didn't put much thought into it.  Just a sort of:  "Strange -- I don't believe that."

But it started gnawing on me as time went on.  Or more to the point, I started gnawing on me as I daydreamed my days away.

First of all, daydreaming to me is integral to motivating myself to writing.  Who doesn't dream of everyone reading their book?  Of a movie being made?  And so on?

But I also believe for me it's part of the creative process -- that daydreaming mode in a sense is my writing mode.  I'm floating in never-never land.

I can't understand anyone who could be so cold blooded as to want -- to actually try -- to take daydreaming out of the process of creation.

Connected to this -- since I started back writing a couple years ago, I've had two different people insist that I simply must read a book that tell me "How" to write a book.  A magic formula book that gives me the mechanics to write.

Let me say upfront that I don't think learning how to write is a bad thing.  I'm at a point in my journey where I prefer to be self-contained and not distracted by outside influences.  In my defense, I spend many many years being open to all input, but now feel it's time to do my own thing.

I had an argument with a member of writer's group -- which I regret since he hasn't come back -- who absolutely insisted no real "writer" writes without a complete outline etc. etc.  He was under the influence of a book that told him exactly the mechanics of how to do it.

(There was also a recent article about how Hollywood is being "destroyed" by a screenwriting manual that almost every movie is following...)

But to me the 'art' of writing is doing your own individual thing.

Which brings me to what I think connects the two things.

Art is different for everyone.  Not just writing, but music and painting and acting; each person does it different.

If you're an accountant, there is a way you do it.  If you are in most occupations, there is a right way and a wrong way.

With art -- the wrong way can be right for one person and the right way can be wrong for another.

I mean, to me, that's what make is "art" -- that there are endless possibilities.  (Which can't be contained in a How-To book.)

So daydream away and write what you want.

Downtown Comings and Goings, 7/24/13.

Four new businesses downtown.

I left off 11 Roasters because they don't sound like they do retail.

NEW BUSINESSES DOWNTOWN

Bishop's Barbershop, Oregon Ave., 7/24/13
Oregon Store, Wall/Franklin, 7/24/13
Supervillain Sandwiches, Bond St., 7/24/13
Taste Oregon, Bond St., 7/24/13
Wild Rose, 5/2/13.
Bluebird Coffee Company, Franklin, 3/29/13.
Pure Kitchen, Franklin (Bond), 3/29/13
Jeff Murray Photography, Minnesota Ave., 3/29/13
Luvs Donuts, Minnesota Ave. 3/29/13
Hub Cyclery, Wall St. 3/29/13
Ju-bee-lee, Wall. St.  3/29/13.
Sweet Saigon, Wall St., 1/20/13.
Brickhouse, Oregon Ave., 1/20/13.
The Drake, Wall St. , 1/20/13
541 Threads, Minnesota Ave., 10/13/12.
O Mo Mo!  Bond Street, 10/3/12.
Crow's Feet Commons, Brooks Street, 9/21/12.
The Cozy Lamb, Minnesota Ave., 9/14/12.
Noi, Bond Street, 9/14/12.
Azillian Beads, Franklin Ave., 9/6/12.
Earth*Fire*Art, Oregon Av., 7/10/12.
Pastrami Deli, Franklin Av., 7/10/12.
Bend Your Imagination, Minnesota Av., 7/10/12.
Paul Scott Gallery), Brooks St., 7/10/12
Natural Edge Furniture, Bond St., 5/10/12
Hola!, Bond St., 3/3/12.
Amanda's, Franklin Ave., 2/24/12
Barrio, Minnesota Ave., 2/12/12.
Rescue Moderne, Harriman, 1/12/12.
Letzer's Deli, Franklin Ave. 2/12/12.
Navidi, Minnesota Ave., 2/9/12.
Mazza, Brooks St. , 2/9/12.
La Magie Bakery, Bond St., 1/6/12
Brother Jon's Ale House, Bond St., 12/10/11.
What Lola Wants, Wall St. , 12/2/11.
Jackalope Grill, 10/12/11.
Gypsy Soul, Wall St. 10/12/11.
Colour N' the City, Tin Pan Alley, 10/12/11.
Lotus Moon, Brooks St., 10/12/11.
The Lobby, Bond St. , 10/12/11.
Ruby, Minnesota Ave., 10, 12/11.
Kariella, Lava Road, 8/24, 11.
Plankers, Wall St., 7/11.
Faveur, Franklin, 7/11.
Dream Pebbles, Minnesota Ave., 6/15/11.
Bend Yogurt Factory, Franklin/Bond, 4/26/11.
High Desert Lotus, Bond St. , 4/4/11.
Tryst, Franklin Ave., 3/11/11. (Formerly Maryjanes, **Moved**).
D'Vine, Wall St. , 2/9/11.
Let it Ride!, Bond St., 1/29/11.
Gatsby's Brasserie Bar, Minnesota Ave., 1/8/11
Tres Jolie, Wall St., 12/20/10.
Caldera Grill, Bond St., 12/7/10
Bond Street Grill, 12/7/10.
Perspective(s), Minnesota Ave., 11/20/10
Toth Art Collective, Bond St. 11/20/10
Boken, Breezeway, 11/20/10
Dalia and Emilia, Wall St., 10/3/10.
Antiquarian Books, Bond St., 10/3/10.
Giddyup, Minnesota Ave., 10/3/10.
The Closet, Minnesota Ave., 8/11/10.
Showcase Hats, Oregon Ave., 8/11/10,
Red Chair Art Gallery, Oregon Ave. 7/13/10.
Earth Sense Herbs, Penny's Galleria, 7/12/10.
Mad Happy Lounge, Brooks St., 6/2910
Common Table, Oregon Ave. , 6/29/10.
Looney Bean Coffee, Brooks St. , 6/29/10.
Bourbon Street, Minnesota Ave., 6/22/10
Feather's Edge, Minnesota Ave., 6/22/10
The BLVD., Wall St. , 6/13/10.
Volt, Minnesota Ave. 6/1/10.
Tart, Minnesota Ave. , 5/13/10
Olivia Hunter, Wall St. 4/5/10.
Tres Chic, 4/5/10 (Moved to Minnesota Av.)
Blue Star Salon, Wall St. 4/1/10.
Lululemon, Bond St. 3/31/10.
Diana's Jewel Box, Minnesota Ave., 3/25/10.
Amalia's, Wall St. (Ciao Mambo space), 3/12/10
River Bend Fine Art, Bond St. (Kebanu space) 2/23/10
Federal Express, Oregon Ave. 2/1/10
***10 Below, Minnesota Ave. 1/10/10
Tew Boots Gallery, Bond St. 1/8/10.
Top Leaf Mate, 12/10/09
Laughing Girls Studio, Minnesota Ave. 12/7/09
Lemon Drop, 5 Minnesota Ave., 11/12/09
The Curiosity Shoppe, 25 N.W. Minnesota Ave, Suite #7. 11/5/09
Wabi Sabi 11/4/09 (**Moved, Wall St.**)
Frugal Boutique 11/4/09
5 Spice 10/22/09
Cowgirls Cash 10/17/09
***Haven Home 10/17/09
Dog Patch 10/17/09
The Good Drop 10/12/09
Lola's 9/23/09
**Volcano Wines 9/15/09
Singing Sparrow Flowers 8/16/09
Northwest Home Interiors 8/5/09
High Desert Frameworks 7/23/09 (*Moved to Oregon Ave. 4/5/10.)
Wall Street Gifts 7/--/09
Ina Louise 7/14/09
Bend Home Hardware (Homestyle Hardware?) 7/1/09
Altera Real Estate 6/9/09
Honey 6/7/09
Azura Studio 6/7/09
Mary Jane's 6/1/09
c.c.McKenzie 6/1/09
Velvet 5/28/09
Bella Moda 3/25/09
High Desert Gallery (Bend) 3/25/09
Joolz
Zydeco
900 Wall
Great Outdoor Store
Luxe Home Interiors
Powell's Candy
Dudley's Used Books and Coffee
Goldsmith
Game Domain
Subway Sandwiches
Bend Burger Company
Showcase Hats
Pita Pit
Happy Nails

(List begun, Fall, 2008.)

BUSINESSES LEAVING

New York City Sub, Bond St. 3/29/13
Soba Asian Bistro, Bond St., 3/29/13
Volt Lighting, Wall St.  3/29/13.
Topolino, Wall Street, 1/20/13.
Cozy Lamb, Minnesota Ave., 1/20/13 (moved inside, Bond St.)
Amalia's, Wall Street, 1/5/13.
El Jimador, Wall Street, 9/1412.
The Closet, Minnesota Ave., 9/1/12
Common Table, Oregon Ave., 8/11/12.
Honey Threads, Minnesota Ave., 8/11/12.
Bella Moda, Wall St., 8/11/12.
Giddy Up, Minnesota Ave., 5/10/12
Pottery Lounge, Oregon Ave., 5/17/12.
Boondocks, Newport Ave., 3/27/12
Game Domain, Oregon Ave., 3/27/12.
Toth Gallery, Bond St., 3/27/12.
Letzer's Deli, Franklin Ave., 3/22/12.
Clutch, Minnesota Ave., 3/22/12. (Moving to Tres Jolie).
High Desert Gallery, Minnesota Ave., 3/22/12.
Tart, Bond St., 3/3/12.
El Caporal West, Franklin Ave., 2/24/12
Bo Restobar, Franklin Ave., 2/9/12.
The Lobby, Bond St. , 2/9/12.
Arts Central, Brooks St., 2/7/12.
Typhoon!, Bond St., 2/5/12.
Gatsby's, Minnesota Ave., 2/5/12
The Dog Patch, Minnesota Av. 1/9/12.
Bend Mapping, Bond St., 1/9/12.
Lotus Moon, Brooks St. 1/9/12 (Moving into Tres Jolie)
Bond Street Grill, Bond St., 11/20/12.
Mad Happy Lounge, Brooks St., 10/11.
Azu, Wall St., 10/25/11.
Showcase Hats, Oregon Av., 10/11.
Bourbon St., Minnesota Ave. 10/12/11.
Curiosity Shop, Minnesota Ave., 7/11
Luluemon, Bond St., 8/26, 11.
Shear Illusions, Franklin Ave., 7/11.
Crepe Place, Wall St., 7/11.
Pita Pit, Brooks St. , 6/28/11
Smith and Wade Salon, Minnesota, Av. , 6/3/11.
Perspectives, Minnesota Av., 6/1/11
River Bend Art Gallery, Bond St., 5/5/11.
Donner's Flowers, Wall St. 3/11/11. (**Moved out of downtown**)
Maryjanes, Wall St. , 3/11/11. (new name, Tryst, moved to Franklin.).
Di Lusso, Franklin/Bond, 2/9/11.
Earth Sense Herbs, Penny's Galleria, 1/2/11
Marz Bistro, Minnesota Av., 12/20/10.
The Decoy, Bond St., 12/7/10.
Giuseppe's, Bond St., 12/1/10.
Ina Louise, Minnesota Ave., 11/3/10.
Laughing Girl Studios, 10/21/10
Dolce Vita, Bond St, 10/21/10
Diana's Jewell Box, Minnesota Ave., 10/15/10.
Lola's, Breezeway, 10/8/10.
Oxygen Tattoo, Bond St., 10/3/10.
Great Outdoor Clothing, Wall St., 10/3/10.
Volcano Vineyards, Minnesota Ave., 10/3/10.
Subway Sandwiches, Bond St. 9/2/10.
Old Bend Distillery, Brooks St., 6/19/10.
Staccato, Minnesota Ave. 6/18/10.
Showcase Hats, Minnesota Ave., 6/1/10 (Moved to Oregon Ave., 8/10/11.)
Cork, Oregon Ave., 5/27/10.
Wall Street Gifts, 5/26/10
Microsphere, Wall St. , 5/17/10.
Singing Sparrow, Franklin and Bond, 5/15/10
28, Minnesota Ave. and Bond, 5/13/10.
Glass Symphony, Wall St., 3/25/10
Bend Home Hardware, Minnesota Ave, 2/25/10
Ciao Mambo, Wall St. 2/4/10
***Angel Kisses 1/25/10 (Have moved to 'Honey.')
Ivy Rose Manor 8/20/09
***Downtowner 8/18/09 (moving into the Summit location)
Chocolate e Gateaux 8/16/09
Finders Keepers 8/15/09
Colourstone 7/25/09
Periwinkle 6/--/09
***Tangerine 7/21/09 (Got word, they are moving across the street.)
Micheal Cassidy Gallery 6/15/09
St. Claire Coffee 6/15/09
Luxe Home Interiors 6/4/09
Treefort 5/8/09
Blue 5/2/09
***Volcano Tasting Room 4/28/09** Moved to Minnesota Ave.
Habit 4/16/09
Mountain Comfort 4/14/09
Tetherow Property 4/11/09
Blue Moon Marketplace 3/25/09
Plenty 3/25/09
Downtown Doggie 3/25/09
***King of Sole (became Mary Janes)**
Santee Alley
Bistro Corlise
Made in Hawaii
EnVogue
Stewart Weinmann (leather)
Kebanu Gallery
Pella Doors and Windows
Olive company
Pink Frog
Little Italy
Deep
Merenda's
Volo
***Pomegranate (downtown branch)**
Norwalk
Pronghorn Real Estate office.
Speedshop Deli
Paper Place
Bluefish Bistro

(List begun, Fall, 2008 )

Introspective about writing.

Taking a week off has let me think about what I'm doing, and what I want to do.

As I mentioned yesterday, I've been thinking about "Art."

I've been mostly thinking about "story" for the last year.  I do feel most art happens as a byproduct of the story.  But there is also the intent -- and I've purposely not put too much burden on myself for fear of blocking my progress.

Overall, I think I'm going about it in the right way -- that is, just keep writing, just keep trying to improve. 

About the only thing I can think to do differently is hold the intent of art in my mind as I'm doing it.

The execution is the thing: I already know what I need to do, and I just have to follow through and do it.

1.)  Plan ahead, plot ahead, think ahead.

2.) Write quickly through the first draft but try to get it right.

3.) Give myself some time away from the book, then come back and rewrite it.

I've done a much better job at the first two requirements, but the third goal is still a work in progress.
I don't like rewriting, at the same time I know that it needs to be done and that it improves the book.

I've been patient about putting these books out.  I felt Freedy Filkins did exactly what I wanted to do, so I put it out.  I felt that Death of an Immortal shouldn't be tampered with very much, so I put it out.

Everything else I've done are still works in progress.  Sometimes a Dragon, The Reluctant Wizard, Wolflander, Led to the Slaughter, and Rule of Vampire are all works in progress.

I'm pretty sure that I'll be putting out Rule of Vampire after letting the editor have a go at it and giving it one thorough rewrite myself.  A couple of months, or so.

Meanwhile, get to work on the third book.

When Led to the Slaughter comes back, I want to give it a rewrite too.  And then do something with it.

The other books I'm either not done -- or in the case of Nearly Human and Deviltree -- are more or less done but I'm not totally certain I can't find a way to make them better -- again. 

A fair amount of time has passed since I "finished" Nearly Human, and I think in a few more months -- after I'm done with my vampire trilogy, I'd like to see if I can't give it One More Try.

Anyway, the nine days off has been good for me and I'm ready to tackle another book.  Finish the trilogy with Blood of Gold, and I'll feel like I've done something.

New Art City

I've been working my way through the book New Art City, by Jed Perl, a post-WWII art history of New York.

In the mid-70's, when I was in my early 20's, I visited New York and had a friend take me around to some of the museums.  I was embarrassed by how little I knew.  I grew up in a house with art books and I always appreciated art, but I was pretty much a bumpkin.

I hate being a bumpkin.

So I came back and started studying art history on my own. 

I immediately ran into that old saying, "My five year old can do as well as that."

Well, no.  Not mostly.  (There was a recent article about a six year old artist -- and the paintings were fantastic.  But -- while I don't doubt the kid wielded the paint brush, I figure an adult designed and conceptualized the art...just saying.)

I find with music and art, and sometimes with literature, that critical appreciation does come with knowledge.  That is, knowing the history and context and having someone point out the significance helps me appreciate what's happening. 

At the same time, there is that "blink" moment of either liking it or not liking it.  I don't know how to explain art, but I know it when I see it.  Like poetry, you either feel it or you don't.

But sometimes the criticism seems to be trying awfully hard to make something out of nothing, to overthink it.

The talking about art makes me want to do art.  In fact, it was after reading and looking at pictures by Joseph Cornell and Willem de Kooning and yes, even Jackson Pollack, that made me want to write poetry over the last few days

You know, "art."

I'm mostly a storyteller and what art comes, comes as a byproduct of my efforts to create as interesting a story as I can. 

I have my ambitions.  For instance, I've decided to try to think of a "poetic" concept on every page of Sometimes a Dragon -- that is, as long as it doesn't distract from the story try to find an original and evocative way to say something on every page.

And then do it again.

I think, generally, that the smoother the word flow, the better the story.  I don't personally much care for a John Updike, for instance.  I'm distracted by the wordplay, taken out of the story.

But I believe there is a way to tell a story with a flourish, if you will.  And that's what I'd like to try to do.

Write for yourself.

Write for yourself,
everyone says,
and I do,
oh surely I do.

And it matters about as much,
as that scratch,
that itch,
that hunger,
that daydream,
that wound,
that thought,
that feeling,
that worry,
that clean up,
that thirst,
that cat,
that yard,
that tree in the forest,
that rabbit on the lawn,
that rock chuck in the hill,
that documentary on TV,
these words on this page,

It matters to me,
but why do I bother?

Five days without writing.

Well, poetry.  Which gives me a charge, but then fades.

I guess I really like writing. 

I was trying to figure out what I like about it. 

I think, mostly, I just like telling a story that's mine.  Telling it any way I like.  I also like the words when they come out in a surprising juxtapositions, and I like the sort of daydreaming feeling that comes over me and takes me out of myself and I like the feeling of having finished and having created a separate world.

All of which is separate from actually selling the books.

So I guess I'll just keep writing.

This 9 days break from writing I'm taking will charge me up to start writing again.

Just to spite me, had a big day today.

That's all....

The End.

THE END

The memory of Dad
lying on his bed
naked and vulnerable
eyes filled with dread.

Dad staring back
now standing instead
nothing happening
alone in his head.

I lay content on my bed
wondering on his doom
While inside my head
universes bloom.

The fear of being
alone at the end
age and decline
a story of pretend.

Did Dad feel the same,
alone on his bed?
Did the tunnel of light,
assuage his dread?

Control

Control

I pull the blanket,
tight to my chin,
safe and controlled,
and dream wild dreams,
safely forgotten.

I zip my zipper,
button my buttons,
cinch my belt,
and start my day
feeling put together.

I survey my desk
papers squared away
pencils lined up,
and feel I have
my work done.

I check my sites,
one by one,
familiar voices,
and reassuring words,
doing the study.

I type my words,
line by line
paragraphs and
pages and chapters,
a story I've told.

All of it
all of it
all of it
all of it
all... of... it.


An illusion,
that can be swept away,
upended and tossed,
jumbled and thrown,
helplessly gone.

I pull my blanket,
to my chin,
safe and warm,
and dream of safety
under my control.

Doing actual research.

A quick Google search (first few pages) found articles about the merchants of the following cities objecting to downtown closures:

 Holly, Michigan
 Fairhope, Alabama
 Macon, Georgia
 Tehachopi, Cal.
 Carlsbad, Cal
 Leesburg, VIrginia

 And last but not least Las Vegas, where the Sun newspaper has the following quote: 

“This is why we stopped closing the street off a few years ago,” Metzger said, adding that as far as she knew, only one owner favored closing the street. “It was too chaotic then — too many people just hanging out — and there weren’t nearly as many people back then as there are now.”

That's a money quote from a town that knows something about promotion -- and money.