Confirmation Bias Bulletin

Well, now I know no one is reading this blog.

The Bulletin does an article on the bike race and doesn't bother to ask me -- I  have been pretty vocal about not liking the race.

They quote five businesses -- four of which are owned or managed by people who have been here only a few years.

Not one of them says it's actually good for business on the day it happens.

But, hey.  It's all good.  Because.

You know, just because.

Because it's got to be, right?

So it must be.

Because....

So, hey, Bulletin.  Get off your lazy ass and do some real reporting on Event Fatigue.

Pretty Amongst Ruin

Pretty Amongst Ruin.

The garden wild,
freed by laziness,
from sharp to blurred,
from cared to loose,
like any neglected flower
pretty amongst ruin.

Words appear,
random by choice
from precise to fuzzy, 
from chosen to guessed,
like any poem,
meaning amongst chaos.

Life unknown,
steered by nature,
from planned to accident,
from hoped to feared,
like any experience
feeling amongst living.

Wisdom pursued,
with ordered desire,
from deep to glimpsed,
from known to grasped,
like all knowledge,
here amongst past.

The soul resides,
moving out of range,
from felt to lost
from fervor to sigh,
like all nature,
beautiful amongst design.

Meeting

Meeting.

They were alone in the office
together at last.
He couldn't look at her.
She walked up to him,
took his chin in hand
looked him in the eye.
"You're a handsome man."

What else could he do? 
He leaned down
kissed her lightly on the lips.
She pressed herself against him
the light kiss turned
into bliss.
After that they were
never apart again.

Foretold.

 Foretold.

It was supposed to happen,
a dream come
around again.
A natural event
almost routine
a continuing thread


Create in another,
once given pleasure.
Nostalgia and time
forever never.
Love for people
clothed in emotion.

In places of notions.
Excitement for things
foretold in a flash,
instantly made --
all born
of the past.

The urge to write, as poem.

 The Urge.

The reaching moment, that never arrives
Subversive, undercutting the desire
The aching stretch for the look
Of knowing, if only they heard
If only they could  hear
I try to tie them to the noise.
I can spin this spell, tell this tale,
if only I can hear them listen.

The noise of a silent voice
The wavering of sense
The squaring of time
Written backward. Of time
Long coming or gone yet already here.
The fixing of water into place
Already evaporating.

Sifting the air with open fingers
Hanging the letters whispered there.
The mind atomized by words,
bits and dashes,
impulses on the counter.
Never finished, always done,
always here, already gone.

Sick of da Hot.

Now that H.Bruce is safely out of town, I can admit that Bend has two seasons.  Winter and Summer. 

I do not remember such a sustained period of heat in my life in Bend.  It's be interesting what the records tell us...

I was inside my air condition bedroom writing for much of this heat spell, but now I'm feeling housebound.

Really, in all the time I've been writing, I've never been terribly active writing in the summer.   I think this is the first time.  Usually, about the time school starts is when I get active again -- like a Pavlovian reaction -- fall means brain work. 

Anyway, I don't like this heat.  Just really don't.

Talking books.

No not books talking, talking about books.

Saw an interview with Barry Ritzholtz, who writes my favorite economics blog, (The Big Picture) who calls Barnes and Noble the next Blockbuster -- which I agree with -- and that bookstores are doomed -- which I don't agree with.

I still believe that bookstores that concentrate on selling books still have a chance.  Though most aren't acting like bookstores but are acting more like coffee shops or clubhouses.  But...like I said...good books still sell.

I've had a fair number of comments from people who have "come back" to books from ebooks.  Or, more accurately, say they use ebooks for trips but also buy book/books for reading.

Meanwhile, J.K. Rowling writes a mystery under a man's name and it gets good review and sells 1500 copies. That sounds like a failure, but its the more normal number.

Of course, now it's going to sell millions....

But everything I've ever read makes me think there is a huge amount of luck involved.

Meanwhile, I woke up this morning with the opening lines of the third book in my Vampire Evolution series, called Blood of Gold. 

So I guess that's what I'm doing next -- my subconscious tells me so...

Now comes the hard part.

I keep wishing that I'll find a way to convince myself that I like rewriting.  Some trick that will make it easier.

I think, in the end, I just have to sit down and do it.  It's sort of like trying to make housecleaning enjoyable -- it has to be done, but in the end, it's just drudgery. 

At least for me.  Good for those fortunate people who like doing it.

I know that it needs to be done -- that it is not only beneficial, but necessary in most cases.  Occasionally the words flow and just need a few tweaks here and there.  Most other times, the plot comes out awkward, words repeat, passive language creeps in, things get left out or are just plain wrong.

I think I just have to gird my loins and do it.

Dammit.

Last chapter.

I'll be finished with the first draft of RULE OF VAMPIRE today.

I had intended to write a flashback chapter, too.  So I'll either do that today or tomorrow.

I feel like the five or six chapters before the last three chapters were rushed, so I want to go back over those in the next few days and try to improve them.

Then...well, as I mentioned, I think I need to spend some time rewriting. 

But...if BLOOD OF GOLD starts coming to me, I'll certainly start writing it. 

I have to remember that part of the reason I'm feeling cabin fever is because of the extreme heat.  I really didn't want to venture outdoors much when it went over 90 degrees.  I really hate the heat.

I'm pretty much ignoring the outside world, rolling my eyes at events, but otherwise not feeling like they need comment. 

I've decided that I don't want to be grumpy old guy anymore.  I want to be cool old guy.

So that means I can't grump.  I'm done grumping.  Not like it does any good anyway...


Is writing bad for me?

Linda is off in Portland visiting Todd, so I dared drink some beer last night.  I'm so not used to it, that 3 beers had me totally snookered. 

Anyway, I came to a surprising -- or maybe not so surprising conclusion:  I need to slow down on this writing thing. 

I'm not actually sure it's altogether good for me, mentally, emotionally, or physically.  I get shut in for days and weeks at a time, to the point that when I emerge I feel almost dizzy when the real world strikes me.

There was a reason I quit writing all those years ago.  I can almost feel myself regressing into a hermit again.

I'm not sure if there is a way to moderate it.  It may be that by moderating it, means I don't do it.

I'm going to finish RULES OF VAMPIRE -- and then concentrate on rewriting for a couple of months.  I haven't even picked up WOLFLANDER since I finished it, for instance.  I should be getting back a revived version of SOMETIMES A DRAGON that I can work on.  I could do another run through of DEVILTREE with Linda's suggestions.

Rewriting is more of a cold blooded process -- doesn't require as much immersion into the dreamworld.

Then -- when I go back to writing, I'm going to try to find a way to both accommodate my real life but give myself enough room for the dreamlife. 

First reader review.

My first reader review on Amazon.  By my Texas reader, Sandy.  She was very complimentary.

Anyway, now that I'm finishing the sequel  (will take a month of two to rewrite and polish) I'm posting the info on DEATH OF AN IMMORTAL, and asking humbly for anyone who's a regular reader of this blog to buy it as a favor.

  http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=death%20of%20an%20immortal%20duncan%20mcgeary 


Final Push.

Going to finish RULE OF VAMPIRE in the next three to four days.  Hoping actually to finish by Sunday so I'll have a day or two to read it through.

Linda is heading to Portland for a few days, and I always get more done when the house is empty.

The outline has been helpful, but changes seem to happen at every step of the way.  I had come up with an ending to the "Big Bad" that was ironic, but I've realized that it wouldn't be cathartic since it was the no-name minions who are bringing him down.  Now, I'm thinking I'll have him defeated and humiliated, but survive to fight another day.

Linda seems very involved in the story.  I read the big "explanation" chapter yesterday and she apparently dreamed about it all night and came up with alternative explanations.  Sometimes you're better off not explaining, but in this case I felt all the books tied together through an explanation and it was just time I laid it all out. (Counting the first book, 400 pages in.)

I think her objections are right on, and I'm going to try to incorporate her suggestions.

Hard to believe I'm almost done.

 I'll probably start right in on BLOOD OF GOLD, the third book in the series.



Stubbornly writing.

Being creative is an odd thing. 

Really, no matter how much you might want others to experience your results, you're doing it for yourself -- and even more importantly, by yourself.  It is the ultimate in inner direction.  So it also a breeding ground for doubt.

I have to remember I've only been doing this seriously for about 10 months; I flailed around for about 16 months before that.  The 16 months were necessary, however.  So, really, it's been 26 months since I started.  Which isn't all that long in the scheme of things.

I've just been putting my head down and stubbornly writing, without much concern for where or how it might lead.  Creation first, everything else second.

I'll just keep following this path until it hits a dead end, I guess.  Or something else happens. 

A taste of the style I'm attempting.

Got a call late in the afternoon from Linda reminding me that we had writer's group.

Printed up some chapters of Led to the Slaughter and took them and read them.  I've now read about 40% of the book in group.

This after being cloistered inside for the last few weeks writing another book.  I was surprised to realize that I've written more words on this new book (Rule of Vampire) than I did on the last finished book, and still have several chapters to go.

I get shut in for so long concentrating on one thing that going outside and seeing all the movement and bright lights almost makes me dizzy.  This seems to be the way I write effectively, so there is no getting around it.  I think it was particularly heavy on me this week because I took most of my working days last week and handed them over to my employees.

Lots of doubts about what I'm doing.  And why I'm doing it and whether it matters.

Anyway, I read the chapters and I noticed a few things.

1.)  Enough time has passed between writing the chapters and reading them that the "glow" that comes from having written the words had worn off.  So -- I have less emotional connection than usual.  It seemed very dry to me -- uninspired.

2.) The words flowed very smoothly and cleanly.  Not a whole lot of awkward sentences. 

3.) I was attempting a very matter of fact style and I accomplished that.  Of course, in the scene where the eight oxen escape leaving them stranded, it seemed strange that the characters didn't react more.  So this matter of fact style may need to be livened up once in a while.

4.) While it wasn't a 'word jumble' it also wasn't something I could see very clearly.  I was depending on the listeners to give me their estimation and they seemed to think I'd hit some kind of 'groove.'


I think that my actual writing is becoming more polished just because I've been doing so much of it.   I think my working habits have become very effective.  I think that I've got the proper emphasis on story.

So, again, it is the rewriting that needs to be improved.  That is, going back and upping my game just a little.

Here's a paragraph that the readers seemed to like last night:

"As we descended the mountains it was as if we fell into the deepest regions of hell.  The heat sucked the breath from our bodies.  Turned our clothes wet with perspiration and then dried them to a stiff salty crust.  The oven evaporated what little energy we had left and melted our very spirits.  The wagons sank into the salts of the lake in the blistering heat.  At night, we froze."

That gives you a taste of the style I'm attempting.


In the final stretch of RULE OF VAMPIRE.

I'm in the final stretch of RULE OF VAMPIRE.

I'm trying to decide what to include in this book and what to save for the next book.  Everything will go into this book if that's what it takes to make it a good read.  But I think the next book will be broadening the story into a global conflict.  So each book has gotten a little bigger in scope.

I have the title to the third book:  BLOOD OF GOLD.

I'm committed to this vampire trilogy being ebooks, while I'm still mulling over what to do with my other books.  Everything I write may end up as ebooks, but I'm still keeping my options open.

Anyway, I got the idea of using the same exact design for the covers to all three books, but switching the colors around.  DEATH OF AN IMMORTAL has a yellow wall as a background, with a mirror on it and red blood is dripping off the mirror.  For RULE OF VAMPIRE, I'll change the background wall to a sort of brown, with blue blood dripping off the mirror.  (Vampires have blue blood.)  For the third book, same design, change the color of the wall again, and gold blood on the mirror (a new kind of vampire has evolved...with gold color blood.)  Thus the title: BLOOD OF GOLD.

I never intended to write a Vampire trilogy, but it's been so much fun to write and I like the characters and it has come pretty easy, so who am I to turn down the gift?




"Fan" letter.

I just got my second fan letter ever -- this one about Snowcastles and Icetowers.  Last year, I got one from Australia about Star Axe.  She wrote to my Duncan McGeary writer site.

Of course, I couldn't have gotten any letters before, I guess.  No way to get ahold of me.  The imprint, Tower Publications, went out of business though the publisher continued for another 30 years. 

She said she read Snowcastles and thought it endearing and went and got the Icetowers and then carried them around for years.  She was moving and picked up Snowcastles and wondered, "Keep?"

She'd just read Snowcastles a second time and was starting in on Icetowers and ended with,

"I just thought you might enjoy knowing the long-term influence of this story. Linda in Massachusetts."

It's fun to realize that paperback copies are floating around the world and every once in a while someone is picking them and reading them.

And I seem to be getting these little boosts on a regular basis -- as if fate is telling me to keep on going. 

Well, at least my wife likes it.

I know this would sound lame if I heard it from someone else.

I was reading my latest chapters of Rule of Vampire to Linda last night, and she frowned and pointed out some corrections and I started to stand up and walk away and then...

Her face broke into a big smile and she said, enthusiastically, "I really like it!  It's got depth and complexity and it's interesting and has believable characters.  It's just really good!"

Well, of course she'd say that right?  But -- Linda doesn't do that.  And she wouldn't say it in that way.

After a few weeks of being alone writing, it's amazing how much that little bit of enthusiasm helps.

Man of Steel: stealing moments.

Went to see Man of Steel yesterday.

I thought it was very effective in the human moments -- Costner and especially Diane Lane managed to bring some feeling to the whole enterprise. 

Unfortunately, these were presented as little two minutes flashback snippets between twenty minutes of mayhem.  I kept waiting for the relatable moments amongst all the crashing about.

So I had the same response I've had lately to all these movies -- cut back the special effects by a third and invest more time in the humans.  Save the money for another movie. 

*****

Got back to the house and could not get into writing my book.  It took another three hours before I finally got going.  Writing for me requires that I write, not go off and do other stuff.

I immediately ran off the rails of my new plotting.  Wrote a relationship chapter instead of the procedural chapter I intended.

Then, later in the evening, a flashback chapter came to me.  I'd been wondering why I didn't have any flashback chapters -- there were several in the first book.  Well, one came, and I inserted it as Chapter 5.  A single flashback chapter is an odd duck, so I'm thinking I'll write a couple more. 

I really like writing these -- and they've become my go-to move in order to replace, fix, or change directions.  They're a change of pace and fun.  They can help develop the themes of the book, add action where it needs to be added, explain things where they need to be explained.

Anyway, I plan to dive back into the book over the next few days.  I'm going to try to get back on the rails of my plotting today.  Write that procedural chapter I had in mind.