NEWS JUNKIE

Went out for my fix this morning. Needed my rush of news along with my caffeine. It wasn't there. My eyelid started twitching.

Called the man, got a busy signal. My caffeine was drained, but I hadn't headlined yet. I started to sweat. Drove to the nearest market. Wasn't there.

Started to shake. I was ready to buy my fix on any old street corner. I didn't care.

Nowhere to be found.

Finally, as my vision was beginning to dim, I bought myself a dose of methadone -- I mean, the Oregonian. The sweats and twitches have subsided.

But I'm still jonesin'


Did ANYONE get their Bulletin this morning?