Have I finally found the way to rewrite?

It's funny.  The advice I usually hear is to not read the reviews.  I had intended to follow that advice.

But then the reviews started coming in and they were almost all good.  Not just from friends and family, but from strangers.  The few bad reviews I've gotten have been so wrong-headed and off-the-mark, that I can pretty much dismiss them.

That's not to say that someone couldn't write a bad review that was on the mark.  That might be hard to take, but might also be a learning experience.

Anyway, I've found the opposite experience.  Just about the time I'm feeling down and discouraged, along will come a nice 5 star review where the reader had a genuinely good time reading my book, and I think, maybe I'm a writer after all.

Anyway, I'm in the process of rewriting Tuskers III.  I'm doing it a bit different this time.  I finished the first draft knowing it had some problems but sent it to Lara anyway.  Then went off and wrote Gargoyle Dreams.  Tuskers III came back to me from Lara on Friday, and I started going through accepting changes and responding to comments.

Then on Saturday, I sat down and just started rewriting from the beginning.  I'm determined to do this all the way through the book.  So far, I'm 6000 words in, and I've made substantial changes.  Improvements, I do believe.  The kind of filling in that I've always felt like I needed.

This is the first time I've really done it this way, and I can see that this is the way to go forward.

The only downside is that I will lose some of the benefit of Lara's copyediting.  That is, I'm adding so much material that there is bound to be copyediting mistakes.  I'll ask her if she wants to take a quick copy-editing trip through the book (and Lara always asks for this opportunity) but it may be more than she bargained for.  I do have a publisher though who also edits so I may have to depend on this for a complete book.

I've added a third to the book so far.  4000 words has become 6000 words.  If I do that all the way through, I'll end up with a book of 80,000 words, a good 25,000 words longer than Tuskers I and II.

If that happens, so be it.  I'm hoping that the additions are more necessary at the beginning of the book than at the end of the book.

I almost always pack some action into the beginning of my books.  This time I'm taking a more measured approach, which probably somewhat depends on the readers having read I and II.  Which I assume will be almost everyone.

Some of my books have come out pretty much complete, without the necessity of this kind of rewriting.  Tuskers, Death of an Immortal, and Rule of Vampire were all pretty much done from the start. Led to the Slaughter had some rewriting which improved the book quite a bit.  Blood of Gold and Tuskers II needed some rewriting and looking back, I think I would probably rewrite them even more.

But this going through page by page is so obviously a benefit that I'm going to do this from now on, whether I think the book is finished or not.  I think I'm at a stage in my career where I need to focus on improving, not on speed.  I've got plenty of material to work with.

So taking the month or two for perspective, having some help shaping the book through editors, and then sitting down and giving it a thorough rewrite.  This is the way to go.

I often talk about how I hate to rewrite. Well, giving myself a month off between efforts addresses that problem, more or less.  I didn't find it to be so terrible after all. 

Especially when I see the improvements.

Tis tales.

Got up at 5:30 to go to the store to open it for the electrician.  We're having all the lights replaced by LED's. 

Much as it was nice to see the sun, getting only 4 hours of sleep wasn't fun at all.  (Of course, because I needed the sleep I couldn't fall asleep...) 

The LED's are much brighter.  I guess we'll have to dust more often.

Had our best day of the summer at the store, I think.  Thanks for not closing the streets Downtowners!

Still sitting on my massive book order.  Thing is -- if sales are so good, while spend all that money?  Why not wait for when I really need it? (Fall and Winter). 

Meanwhile, got Tuskers III back from Lara and went through her corrections.  I'm going to spend several weeks doing some rewriting.  I like the overall ideas in the book, but I think it needs some buffing up, more than usual.  Thinking about it last night, I came up with a little addition that will help.  So I'm hoping to come up with a couple dozen more helpful additions before I'm done.

I've not written for a week now, and it feels a little weird, but I think it's good for me to take a break once in a while.  Getting together with my sister Susie and her family (she's home for a high school reunion).  Going kayaking on Tuesday.

Linda seems to have gotten serious about finishing the third book of her trilogy, and it tickles me to see her doing it. 

Wasted day yesterday.  Too hot and tired to do much of anything.  Blech.

Today I've got to go out and adjust the sprinklers -- our new neighbor came over and told us his trailer was getting too much spray.  Only way to do it is to stand in the water and take what it's giving.  So, warm day is pretty much needed.  Neighbor also pretty much shamed me about the side of the house -- the part that is out of sight and inundated with weeds.  He kept saying he didn't want to be "that guy."  Heh.

Trying to cut back on calories for awhile.  My highwater mark is 200 pounds, and I need to be about 15 to 20 pounds lighter to fit into most of my wardrobe.  I don't feel unhealthy at that weight, but buying a whole new wardrobe seems kind of wasteful.

Looks like I missed a day of blogging the other day.  I've decided it doesn't count, because it wasn't intentional.  As far as I'm concerned, my eight year blogging streak is intact.  If you don't agree, you're a jerk!!!!  (Just agree, dammit.  You never saw it...)

Not a note-taker.

I'm not much of a note-taker when it comes to writing.  I keep most of it in my head.  I mean, I make sporadic notes, here and there, but not consistently.

I always think I'll remember what changes I mean to make.  Then I forget.

So that's something I'm going to try to change.  Start with taking notes, make sure I have a notepad while I'm writing, and then refer to them on a regular basis.

Shouldn't be hard, right?

"real."

I keep selling my books out of my store when I work.

I also make connections I wouldn't ordinarily.  Yesterday, I had a guy I vaguely remembered talking to a year ago about writing, so I asked.  He'd bought one of my books and read it.

I probably wasn't paying enough attention last time, but this time I got what he was saying.  Steven C. Schlozman, M.D.  He's a professor at Harvard Medical school and he wrote a book called The Zombie Autopsies: Secret Notebooks From The Apocalypse.

I had the book on my shelves.

He said he was watching a zombie movie one night and was inspired to sit down and write a book about what it would be like to autopsy a "real" zombie. 

Told a funny story about how his faculty head told him he had to disavow his writing because too many people thought it was "real."

So his book has been optioned by George Romero, and he talked about the real bonus of writing was being able to pal around with George at conventions and such.

I made a comment about him being a "real" writer.

"No, no, so are you.  A good one too."

So that was cool, and I immediately asked if he'd be willing to blurb one of my upcoming books and he said, "Sure!"

Meanwhile, after he left, I realized he had a world class number of blurbs on his book.  George Romero, Chuck Palahniuk, Seth Grahme-Smith, and Jonathan Maberry.

Fun.  Always interesting who I meet in the store.

Books are cash flow proof for me.

I have assembled a massive -- for me -- book order.

Every book I've sold over the last ... well, since I last did an order, plus new books, plus filling in on some series.

Thing is -- books sales haven't dropped even though I've been out of Catcher in the Rye and Game of Thrones and To Kill a Mockingbird for some time.

Wow. Is this the way other stores work?  Because that is not the way my store has ever worked.  I've always had to buy the new material on a regular basis or see sales drop through the floor.  Comics and cards were most of my sales for decades, and they were periodicals, entirely dependent on the weekly shipments.  The good thing about this has been that it given me a steady, regular clientele.  The bad thing was that I've always had to buy them whether I could afford them or not.

But in books, toys, and to a lessor extent, games, it doesn't seem to matter as much.  With the important caveat that you have good books (games/toys) in stock.  You can be out of many of the standards and still sell.  Which is kind of cool, you know?

(Admittedly, this probably wouldn't be true if these categories were 80% of my business instead of 40%.)

What it does is allow me to make orders when I can afford them, when the cash flow gives me an opportunity. Instead of having to order whether or not the cash flow can handle them.

Cash flow is having the money on hand to pay for the product.  It took me a very long time to realize that I could be making a nice profit overall and still be short of cash when I needed it. It's easy to fall into the trap of spending to keep big sales up, and then having nothing on hand when sales drop.  Which they do, on a regular but unpredictable basis.

I finally got secure enough to have money in reserve, and smart enough not to use too much credit and to replace the reserve when it is depleted.

Plus, downtown finally became the place it always promised to be -- lots of people walking around, dropping in, buying on impulse.  Very cool.  I'd have to say most of my book and toy sales are impulse sales to strangers, and a high percentage of my game sales.  So all I need is a steady flow of customers, which downtown is providing.

Wasn't always that way -- wasn't that way for a good 20 out of the 35 years I've been doing this.

I give myself credit for recognizing the change in customers, and adapting my store to it.  I give myself even more credit for expanding into games and books just as the Great Recession was starting and sticking to it.  Having 20 years of experience by then was invaluable.

Especially for a dolt like me who seems to only learn not to touch the oven by burning my fingers a few times.

Me no understand the maths.

Time is just my perception of movement in the space/time continuum.  (I feel like I should add a Dudist "man" to the end of that.)

Blows my mind...man.

If I understand this at all, which I probably don't.

I like to read the occasional popular science book, even though they make me feel as dumb as a bag of hammers.  I'm currently reading Coming Of Age In The Milky Way, by Timothy Ferris, which is a history of astronomy.

Sometimes I get just an inkling of what I'm reading, like I'm licking the frosting on a cake and getting a taste sensation.  But I'm not sure I really understand it.

The book went from Newton to Einstein in two successive chapters, as I understood less and less.  But, you know, I get a glimmer, man. I get a sense of it.  I get a small clue. 

It's something I wish I understood better.  But not hard enough to really work at it. 

You know, when you're talking to your cat and it seems almost as if they can understand what you're saying? 

I'm the cat, man.  Dude, what you're saying sounds really important, but...whatever.  I've got a hairball to worry about. 
 

Getting ahead of myself?

I asked Mike Corley if he would do the cover to The Last Fedora: The Gangster Golem Chronicles, and he agreed to do it.  Which is kind of him, considering he has a brand new baby. 

Since I haven't even offered this book to a publisher yet, I might be getting ahead of myself a little.  (The publisher is responsible for the cover, usually.)  But I just want this book ready to go, ready to be put into an available slot.  I'm doing it on my own dime, which is probably crazy.

I really like this book.  It has a lot of heart, I liked all the characters in it, the bad guys as well as the good guys and the good guys as well as the bad guys.  (Since it sometimes harder to write interesting good guys than interesting bad guys.)

I feel like it's different, quirkier, than anything else I've read.  I know there is probably other supernatural noir out there -- of course there is -- but this feels a little different.  Not sure there are many Golem books out there.

It's been done for some time now, and I've been sitting on it trying to decide what to do with it.  As I said, I really like it and I want to find it the right home.

Interestingly, I had a cover in mind:  A fedora in the middle of a puddle of blood.  I almost suggested it to Mike, but then thought, No, Let him come up with the cover.  He's the professional.

He came back with the idea of a stone fedora in the middle of blood.

So great minds think alike.  He finessed my idea by having the fedora be made of clay or stone but more or less the same idea.

Thing is, even if the basic idea is similar, I know Mike will pick the right font, and size, and design, and I bet it will look very cool.

This book is coming out one way or another.  Like I said, I'm very, very proud of it.

A small deserved break.

I finished Gargoyle Dreams on Friday.  On Saturday I tried to put it together and immediately ran into problems.  I decided to put it aside, let it sit for awhile.  Nevertheless, I have a feeling it can be a good book.

Night before last, I went to bed I feeling oddly satisfied.  That little bit of euphoria lasted the day.  This is a weird feeling for me.  I'm usually vaguely anxious and dis-satisfied.  But I'm feeling proud of myself right now.

As I Twittered/Facebooked yesterday.  "I'm happier with my books than I thought I'd be.  Not bad, man. Not bad."  And I mentioned how grateful I was for the support.

This isn't my usual way of expressing myself.

Andy was in the store on Thursday and said,  "You're funny.  You're always pointing out your faults."

Well, I don't think of it that way, but yeah.  I'm harder on myself than other people are, usually.  I've discounted my writing because it seemed to me that it was risky to be too proud of it.

I set out to see if I could just finish another book. To get it published was a bonus, to have it read by people was a bigger bonus, and to have some of those people like the book was the best bonus of all.  Then to write more books, and to feel like they are good solid stories.  That is enormously gratifying.

Every time I finish a book, I somehow try to keep going, and then almost always realize I don't have to, that I can take a small break.  Letting it all sink in.

So that's where I'm at right now.  A small deserved break.

The value of "midlist."

"Midlist is a term in the publishing industry which refers to books which are not bestsellers but are strong enough to economically justify their publication (and likely, further purchases of future books from the same author)."  Wikipedia.

I'd like to expand that definition to any kind of product that has those characteristics. 

Frankly, Pegasus Books is based on midlist.  Very few things can be bestsellers.  Even when that happens, here's the result.

1.)  The book or product is hard to get.
2.)  The big chainstores will discount it to nothing.

I don't even look at the bestseller list.  These books will be at the feeding trough in Costco, or emblazoned with "SALE!" stickers at Walmart.  Even if I discount by 20% (roughly 50% of my profits) I'm going to be considered overpriced even though I am exactly the regular marked price.

So...even if I were to have Go Set a Watchman on my shelves, I would have to "explain" to the customer that it can be got elsewhere cheaper (eliciting strange looks) or risk them getting mad at me, or thinking poorly of the store, or even returning the product.  

Anyway, the same thing is true of all high sellers.  So my strategy over the years has been counter-intuitive.  Fill the store with midlist product, the more neglected by the big players the better.  There are often bargains to be had, as well.

And some of these books are good books.  In fact, ironically, they were often earlier bestsellers.  I also don't look at sales trajectory.  Selling something four or five times in a year is rare for me.  Often I don't sell things more than once a year or every two years -- or never.

But my strategy was to absolutely fill my store with the best product I can get that is reasonably priced, not being cut-throated elsewhere, and readily available.

If I get The Martian Chronicles by Ray Bradbury, I know that I can sell it every few months and replace it easily.  I've got a satisfied customer, and I have the added bonus of making my store different and unique.

All this is a roundabout way of saying that I think the publishing industry has made a huge mistake shedding themselves of midlist.  They will regret it when others (Amazon, for one) fill that need. 

It's a mistake to go only with bestsellers.  You're vulnerable to any number of factors.  And the temptation is to go for gimmicks.

Frankly, I think the new Harper Lee and Dr. Suess books are gimmicks and I don't intend to carry them.

But there you go.  Proof that midlist is viable.  Because I can say No Thanks to the biggest sellers in the industry and still thrive.  

I doubt publisher or the big chainstores can say the same.

God, I wish I liked rewriting.

In some ways, Gargoyle Dreams turned out better than I expected.

However, it originally was going to be a different book.  It was going to be a "gothic love-story" with only two characters and one setting.

I just didn't have the chops to pull that off. 

I need my genre hooks to keep things interesting for me -- and I assume the reader.  So I brought in other characters -- even other POV characters -- and other settings.  I liked what resulted.

I have to wrestle it into shape now.  As I always say -- it's easier for me to write new material than to work on old material.  I let myself write the chapters as they came to me and as needed, but not necessarily in order.  Which can be dangerous.

But I know in my head that everything I wrote belongs, so now the job it to find a way to make it all flow.  Just requires adequate transitions, basically.  I came up with new ideas right to the end of the book, and so the rest of the book has to be brought up to speed. 

So it will be work.  God, I wish I liked rewriting.

The writing was choppy from about 70% of the to about 90% of the way, so that will need to be worked on.

I want to change a couple of names -- add some description of gargoyles and the cathedral. But I should have it ready for Lara when she returns Tuskers III.

Coming up with the "WOW!"

Yesterday I talked about trying to come up with a "process" for rewriting that works as well as the process I've arrived at for first draft.  Taking into account that I'm lazy and really don't like rewriting.

I've talked about this before, but maybe it's time to pop up with this anecdote again.

Long ago, I read a book by or about Erle Stanley Gardner, the creator of Perry Mason, in which a single short story is used as an example of his process. In the course of the book, we see three separate versions of the same short story

1.)  The first version is pretty good.  You know, you'd probably read it and go, "nice."

2.)  But Mr. Gardner isn't satisfied. So he mulls it over, tweeks it in different ways, and produces a second draft.  This version is much better, so much that it is kind of astonishing.

3.)  But still Mr. Gardner isn't satisfied.  The story needs something stronger, some twist, some revelation, some surprise, that will unleash the potential of the story.

Sure enough, he comes up with the corker, and you think, "WOW!"  It improves the story dramatically.

Anyway, this always stuck with me.  I've tried to a greater or lessor extent to keep it in mind when I write.  I've been lucky in that I think I usually can come up with a satisfying conclusion to my stories, sometimes with a nice twist.  But I haven't rigorously made myself sit down and think about how I might really up the level.  Partly because I think it's dangerous to mess with a story once it's down.

I have sort of been doing something similar, however, to the first third of a book. In the course of writing the first draft, I've learned that if I pause about a third of the way through and ask myself, "What's missing?" I often come up with new elements that complete the story.  Maybe I'm missing an adequate villain, or love-interest, or sidekicks, or settings, or...any number of things.

Throughout most of my career of owning a bookstore, I would go to sleep at night asking myself two questions.

1.)  What am I doing that I shouldn't be doing?  And even more importantly....

2.)  What am I not doing that I should be doing?

It was amazing how this clarified the problems and often gave me the solutions. So I've taken to asking the same things about my stories.

So my latest epiphany is that I need to apply the same thinking to the last third of the book.  What plot developments can I come up with that will surprise, or move, or wow the reader?

For instance, The Manic Pixie Dream Girl Murders is pretty good as it is.  I like it quite a bit.

But I decided that I'd like to try to see if I can't come up with at least 3 strong improvements in the last third of the book.  Just really give it the Erle Stanley Gardner treatment.  What sort of crux points can I put in that will make the reader go, "WOW!

Almost immediately upon thinking about this, I came up with a couple of changes that will improve the ending.  After mulling them over for a couple of days, I've realized that these two changes aren't the "WOW!" I'm looking for...but they are an improvement.

They are also just a beginning.  As soon as I get the manuscript back from Bren, I'm going to spend as much time as it takes to try to come up with at least one "WOW!" and hopefully a couple more.

Thing is, even if they aren't "WOW!"s, they will probably be improvements, and that isn't a bad thing.

I'm intellectually lazy.

I'm two chapters from the end of Gargoyle Dreams. When I'm done, I'll need to work on some continuity problems.

I've decided I'll do all that next week.

Today, I started thinking about my process again.  Long discussions talking to myself.  I have a vague idea of what I'm trying to do.  By thrashing it out, I can usually clarify those ideas.

When I came back to writing, I'd thought for 25 years about what I'd gotten wrong with the process the first time.  I had a set of rules and/or guidelines about how to write.

These ideas were mostly borne out.  I've figure out a very efficient way to write that first draft.  I'm happy with that whole process, and I've refined it over time. 

But what I hadn't really thought about during the interregnum was the equally important process of rewriting.  Other than the rule that I not let a book go until I think it's ready. (No more "good enough.")

I'm intellectually lazy.  Rewriting is mostly an intellectual process.  So combine those two facts, and it's like matter/anti-matter: they cancel each other out.

I generally believe that most of my stories could benefit from a little more description.  More fleshing out. Just more.

I've tried all kinds of tricks around that.  I find if I stumble across a sentence or paragraph by surprise, I can see what needs to be fixed easier than if I try to systematically go through the book.  So I give myself time to just randomly drop in on a book.  I look for certain triggers -- a paragraph that is almost another line, and search the paragraph for some detail I can add.

Just tricks.  They work, but they are spotty. 

I've learned that messing with the continuity is usually a mistake, but sometimes has to be done.

I've learned that adding and subtracting is usually all right.  If I start out the story without enough ingredients, than adding those ingredients later is only smart.

Course corrections are fine.

The more thinking in advance I do, the less rewriting is necessary. However, I discover story by writing, and there is only so much outlining that is useful.

Writing new material is easier for me than changing existing material.

Here's the thing.  My first drafts, plus my cursory editing, plus professional editing and suggestions from beta readers, I think usually make my books "good enough."  So it's easy to just go with that.  I've tried to hold my feet to the fire to get better than that, and with the books that have so far been released, I think I've mostly succeeded.  But it is a constant struggle.

The latest trick I'm using is to read a chapter, then go off and let the poetic part of my brain work on it, and just start jotting down what comes to me.  Then go back to the chapter and see if any of the stuff my subconscious has come up with is an improvement.  Usually, there are some nice thoughts and phrases I can use.

Today I came up with what I think is another improvement in the rewriting process.

More on that tomorrow.

Liquidating sportscards.

Sports cards haven't been holding their own for years now.  But they are stackable -- that is, I can put a lot of material in a small space, and space in the store is a premium, so I figured I might be able to make it work.  The idea has been to slowly sell the backstock, buy it at sale prices as often as possible, and put a bit of money into new cards each year.  Just keep it going.

Part of it, I think, is that I'm just stubborn.  Sports cards at one point were 85% of revenue.  Yes, you read that right, 85%.

When it went bad, it went bad quickly and permanently.  Like 25 years ago.

It's a completely dysfunctional industry.  People who hope that it will someday come back are kidding themselves.

The profit margins are laughable.  The Suggested Retail Price is about 15 to 20% above cost, or less than half just about anything else in my store.  I put them at about 10% higher than that, and explain to card customers that I simply can't carry them otherwise.

Well, last Thursday I had two sports card customers who were a "problem."  Unpleasant.

That was it.  I decided it was time to pull the plug.

So all sports cards (and non-sports cards since I'm eliminating the racks too) are going to be 50% off until they are gone.

This does not include 'game cards' like magic.

It's finally time to move on.

Researching after writing.

I may have this backward, but I tend to do most of my research after I've written the first draft.

I have a very broad general knowledge of things.  It's just part of me.  I have a huge amount of trivia, of superficial knowledge in my head.  All the reading I've done, the collecting of random facts.  Whatever I write I tend to have at least a base knowledge of what I'm writing about.  Such a superficial grasp of things probably isn't a great benefit to anything but writing, actually, and maybe owning a pop-culture store...

I've gotten lots of kudos for historical accuracy in the reviews for Led to the Slaughter: The Donner Party Werewolves.  I was certainly trying for that effect.  But really, other than knowledge I already had and maybe a quick glance at the Wiki entry, I wrote the first draft out of my head.  The main idea was to imagine what it would be like to be so hungry, so cold, and feel so hopeless.

After I was done, I started reading pioneer diaries, and other historical books, trying to get all the details right. I find that when I do the research after I've written I can pluck the pertinent details out of the morass of facts and use what I need.

I'm going to research cathedrals and gargoyles when I'm done with Gargoyle Dreams.  I've got a picture book of gargoyles that I grabbed years ago.  This book has been percolating in my head for years, for some reason.  A "love-story" written from a gargoyle's point of view.

This book is at a 7 on a scale of 10 as far as being where I want it to be.  I'd say The Last Fedora is at 8.5, and The Manic Pixie Dream Girl Murders is at a 8.5.  (8.5 is probably the highest I'm willing to give myself.  When I write that 10, in my own head, that's the day I'll know I've arrived.)  I'm hoping that with Bren's input, I can get TMPDGM's up to a 9.

I'm going to set Gargoyle Dreams aside for a month, do a little research, then come back to it and try to get it up to speed.

Tuskers III is with Lara.  I like the overall plot and ideas and characters of this book.  I was having continuity problems that I was just going around and around on, so I thought maybe Lara could help me on that.  There was some clunky writing.  Some books have more clunky writing than others.

About a third of Tuskers III overlaps with events in Tuskers II, told in different settings and from the POV of different characters, so I'm hoping Lara will tell me if that is too confusing.  Tuskers IV will have overlap with Tuskers II and III, so I'm hoping that won't be a problem.  I won't know until I've finished Tuskers IV whether there will need to be a Tuskers V.

I'm pushing to finish Gargoyle Dreams in the next two days, so off I go...

Faerylander sucking me in again.

My magnum opus -- and my albatross -- Faerylander is beckoning again.

Bren did an edit on it recently and she had some legitimate concerns.  Enough so that I think it would require a complete rewrite to accomplish her suggestions.

Is it good enough? Yes.  It's been "good enough" for some time.  But I have higher ambitions for this book as well as the books that follow.

I've lived with this book for almost 4 years now, rewriting it constantly. As a result, I have the complete book in my head, and I've built a lot of back story.  I still feel it has tons of potential.

But it has become somewhat of a burden.  Each time I walk away from it, I think I'm done; that either I'll publish it as is or I won't -- but that I won't rewrite it again.

And enough time passes and I start thinking, "What if?" again.

Anyway, I started to wonder if I couldn't split the book in half.  That maybe that would straighten up the plot problems.  But no matter how I looked at it, I couldn't figure out the place to break it in half.

The other night, I realized that while it would be difficult to create two books out of this, there were natural splitting points for three books. There would need to be some original material added to make the transitions, to solidify the climaxes, but I can see how it would work.

Thing is, I want to be absolutely sure I've worked out the plot problems BEFORE I start actually working on the book again.  So after I've written my chapter of Gargoyle Dreams each day, I've been turning my attention to Faerylander, mulling it over and over and over and over again.

I think there are three parts:

Faerylander: The War Between Cthulhu and Faery, Part I.
Zombielander: The War Between Cthulhu and Faery, Part II.
Cthulhu-lander: The War Between Cthulhu and Faery, Part III.

What this would probably mean is that I would bring back much of the previously jettisoned material.  Ironically, many of Bren's criticisms were actually things I had removed, that were there previously.

If I do this, there will be tonal differences between and within the three books. But I think that's all right.  The reader can handle it.

The main thing is to have fun.  I think I sort of lost sight of that, trying to make it a serious book. Because the book is such a mess, it has kind of freed me up to do what I want. Probably self-publish it.  I have a cover I bought that I have three different versions of, the same picture of the main character; who has fire added to his hands and feet in the second version; and Cthulhu-like tentacles threatening him in the third version.  Same basic picture, but with enough differences (especially if I use different colors in the titles) that it would pass for parts I, II, and III I think.

So I'm going to work on this project between and while I'm working on my other stuff.  It's easy for me to go back to because it's all firmly in my head and I don't have to reintroduce myself again.  Like I said, I'm going to have a FIRM outline before I start tinkering, otherwise I can see it turning into a morass again.  Really don't want to go there.

But I love this story.  Not to mention, I have two sequels already written which are just fine:  Wolflander and Ghostlander. 

Gargoyle Dreams almost done.

Nearing the end of Gargoyle Dreams.  Just a few more chapters and I'll finish with the first draft.  I have the ending pretty much outlined and plotted.

Crossed the 50K mark yesterday, which means it is now officially a 'book.'  (Most of my stories seem to run between 55 and 65K words, for some reason.  I could add to them easily enough, but I prefer fast and hopefully entertaining reads.)

In the midst of writing a chapter I suddenly had an inspiration for an Epilogue and wrote it down. I loved it. The true ending. It ties the whole book together.

Most of what I've been writing for the last week-- and will be writing for the next few days -- are action scenes.  Action scenes are easy to write, but hard to write well.  I find if I can visualize an action scene in my head, then I can get it down on paper.  If my action scene is fuzzy, it's better not to even try.  I usually write an action scene, then purposely try to pump it up a little more, because I tend to perhaps be a little too concise -- and a good action scene gets the blood roiling.

I feel like I'm using some clunky language, while the story is coming along nicely.  So I'll have to do some nifty editing to make it all work, but the foundation is solid.

Also have a few continuity problems that have to be addressed.  I think they'll be fine -- I just need to finesse the transitions.  Make sure it's all clear what and when everything is happening.

Always exciting to finish another book.

I really like the idea that a complete story exists, with or without me.  It has its own validity once it's finished.  Doesn't need me anymore.

"No, no. I meant to go swimming..."

Went kayaking for the third time this year.  The first time it took me an hour to load up, the second time 40 minutes, this time 20 minutes.  So I've gotten the hang of it, I think.

We decided on Hosmer Lake this time.  When we visited it early on, it didn't look very attractive, but we were told the lake keeps going, that it had these cool channels.  So we headed out.

Sure enough, the lake was rather beautiful.  Lots of lily pads and tons of birds.  When it was quiet you could hear dozens of different species trilling and squawking and singing and warbling and every kind of noise.  If you went close to to their nesting places they raised a cacophany of protest.

It was a very pleasant temperature, mid-70's, and I started wishing I'd worn a long sleeve shirt.  It wasn't really any cooler than down in the lowlands of Bend, which surprised me.

There were bird sanctuary islands all through the journey.  Hordes of little ducklings following their mothers.  They plupped in and out of water, diving out of sight.  The plup sound was really cute.  Plup. Plup.

Unlike Elk Lake, we couldn't help but run into lots of other boaters.  There was every kind of boat you can think of, all shapes and sizes and colors.  Really interesting to me.  Not just your average kayak, but paddle boats, and pontoons and rowing boats and every kind of kayak.

One problem -- some people couldn't stop jabbering and the sound of their voices carried a long way.  It got so we'd park the kayaks to the side of the channel, let them pass with friendly greetings, and wait until they were out of earshot.

Really, the sounds of nature were incredibly relaxing and interesting.  Not so much people's voices...

About 2 1/2 hours seems to be our usual kayaking experience.  The trip back always goes nearly twice as fast.  We will probably go back to Hosmer, but I would prefer a more private experience if possible. I can't totally and completely let go when I'm constantly running into other people. It's a introvert thing, I guess.

Linda and I have sort of decided to try a different lake every time, at least for awhile.

We made it back to shore.  I got out of the kayak and instantly went backward into the water, which was embarrassing as hell.  People running over to help me, and I'm just saying, "No, no, I meant to go swimming."

Thing was, I didn't feel tired at all -- until I rose up, and then it was like, "Wow," my legs aren't quite as strong as I thought they were.

So then Linda gets up, and she immediately falls over into the water.   I'm sure she just did it out of sympathy....heh.

People seems to want to "help" people like Linda and me, and while I appreciate the sentiment, I'd much rather do it myself.  Gives me some insight to the way my Dad acted in his doddering years -- irritated that you'd try to help him.  Heh.

Was itchy and scratchy last night trying to sleep.  Nature.  

Linda's feet are giving her trouble, so walking -- which is what we used to do -- isn't something we can do together anymore, so kayaking seems perfect for us.

We're still newbies -- but so far, every trip, we've run into other newbies as well.

We got home and forgot to unload the kayaks, so they're still on the car and I'm thinking we should maybe take advantage of that and go for another trip...

But I also want to get back to writing.

Such a pleasant dilemma. 

The "Beautification" racket.

On a periodic basis, the City of Bend tries to get into the beautification racket.  They take a commercial zone, which is usually pretty ugly or rundown, and come up with these marvelous plans to make it look nice.

Galveston is the latest target.

So you might guess what my reaction to that is.

Stay away, City of Bend.  This is a street with stores on it.  If it needs to be beautified, then let the landowners do it. If it isn't pretty, there might be a reason for it.

Most of these plans come to nothing, fortunately.  They had an ambitious plan for 3rd Street for awhile, but I haven't heard much about it.

They had another ambition plan for Greenwood Avenue between 3rd and Bond Street.

This second plan had me slightly concerned since the Bookmark is located on that corner.  But even then I thought the plans too ambitious and grandiose and I couldn't imagine they could swing it.  Not to mention they really didn't have the money for it.

And of course Downtown has always been a target, some of which they've actually managed to do.  Replacing the sidewalks.  That was nice.  Putting in some new trees.  O.K.

But the idea of replacing the sidewalks again fell by the wayside, as far as I know, as well as this insane idea of tearing them up to put a "blue" stripe (representing water) running from the fountain at the base of Hospital Hill to Drake Park.

There is always the lingering danger of closing the streets and making it a Mall, which would be the death of downtown.  Every study I've ever seen has emphasized the importance of cross-traffic.  If it gets "too busy" that a bit like Yogi Berra's complaint about a restaurant.  "No one goes there anymore.  It's too crowded."

They did managed to build a structure near the Radamacher House that was so ill-designed that only the homeless and driftless actually use it.

Basically the rule of thumb should be -- if it ain't broke, don't fix it.  Galveston and Greenwood and 3rd Street are all doing relatively well, occupancy wise.

If you tear up the streets, I guarantee you some of the businesses will NOT survive. Nothing pushes customers away more than construction.  If the construction is Absolutely Necessary, then it can't be helped. Traffic, sewer, drainage, etc.  Those are legit reasons to tear things up.

To Beautify?  Not so much.  I don't object to the Parks being beautified; that doesn't disrupt private business.

In my own store, I've come to realize that while you have to be presentable, and you want to be as beautiful as you can be, it is not as connected actual viability as you might think.  Given an esthetic choice between having lower sales by more attractive display, or less attractive display but better sales, I'll take the latter.

Because if I don't stay in business, nothing else matters.

Again, I emphasize -- these are private business that line these streets.  To put them out of business because you don't like their looks is a crazy thing to do.

Work = Time.

I often mention I don't like rewriting, but I don't want anyone to think I don't do it.  A lot of rewriting is routine and happens on a constant basis.  That is, every time I find words or phrasing I don't like, I try to change them, every time I feel a scene isn't working, I work on it until it does.

No, I think the Work part comes when I've done all that and I still want to try to make the book better.  As if there was a magical formula, as if I'm going to suddenly get smarter, deeper and more talented than before.

Which just makes me stare at the page and when I make changes, doubt whether it helps.  Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't.

Anyway, I don't think creativity can be Forced.  I think it has to be coaxed.

That requires time, it requires perspective, it requires multiple chances to look at the material and catch mistakes and make improvements.

In other words, it isn't something you do with sweat -- it isn't like digging ditches.

So what Work in rewriting really means is taking the Time to try to do it right.

It's hard when you know a book already works -- that it is 90% of the way there, that it is "good enough."  But I have tried very hard to hold myself to a higher standard.

Which means giving the manuscript time.  Writing it at the right pace, setting it aside, submitting it to Lara and to Linda (if she's available), and to writer's group (as much as possible; I write faster than there are meetings to read.)  If I still feel it needs works, I'll wrestle with it after it comes back from editing, and very occasionally I'll send it to Bren, who is someone who isn't afraid to point out bigger problems.

Really, it isn't so much that I'm not willing to take these extra steps, but that I can't always get my Beta readers to help because they lead their own lives, damn it.  And I can't really afford to keep having these books edited for money because they aren't earning a whole lot more than I'm paying out.

So whenever I get that feeling that I need to Work at it, I just remind myself to give myself the Time to coax out the better version.

Time = Work. 

My identity as a "writer."

If doing is being, then I'm a writer.

I've always had a hard time calling myself a writer.  To me, a writer makes his living by writing, and I don't do that.

However, whether I choose 'writer' as my identity or not, there is no denying that I'm mostly writing these days.  That is, when I wake up and decide what I'm going to do, it's always about writing.  When I go to bed at night, I'm thinking about what I'm going to write the next day.

I schedule around my writing, not the other way around.  I make space for writing -- whether I'm writing or not.  And then, of course, I write.

I mean, it's pretty unavoidable.  It does seem to be who I am right now.  Almost everything feels else like a distraction.

I nurture the time, the energy, and most especially the dream space.  That kind of floating feeling I get when I'm trying to be creative, where the present becomes hazy, the future non-existent, and the past is made of dreams and visions.

All other concerns get pushed aside, if possible.

I've settled into this life, and I am surprised by how much I'm doing and how much I like it.

I'm close to finishing Gargoyle Dreams.  It's a good, solid book.

That makes three solid books in a row that I'm very proud of:  The Last Fedora: the Gangster Golem Chronicles; and The Manic Pixie Dream Girl Murders; and now Gargoyle Dreams.

They emerged smoothly.  They kept my interest all the way through.  I think they pay off.  I'm impressed with myself, by god. 

I'm going to just keep writing, as long as possible.  Whether I call myself a writer or not, I'm pretty much a writer in practice.