Person of Interest has gotten very good.

Agent Carter was loads of fun.  It set just the right tone.  Love the 40's styles, the cliff-hanger plotting.  They spent some money on this thing, and it shows.  The main actress is very good (and dare I say voluptuous?)

Meanwhile, I've been saying for awhile that the only network drama that is consistently great is The Good Wife.  Linda and I watch other shows, but mostly as filler.  Flash and Shield are innocuous fun.  CSI, Mentalist, Castle are all very formulaic.  Elementary tries to be more, but most often doesn't quite get there.

But last week's episode of Person of Interest was a real winner.  The dialogue was snappy and humorous, and I'm really loving the two A.I.'s fighting for world domination plot.  It's become much more of an ensemble piece -- Agent Reese was an intriguing character, but it was wearing thin.

I'm a sucker for alternative universe story lines (going back to my favorite STNG episodes with Moriarty)  -- and  the computer going through different scenarios is a satisfying plot trick, allowing for main characters to get killed...but not really.  They've almost managed to make the main computer a sympathetic character.

It feels to me that this show has finally found its groove.

I'm becoming very fond of pigs.

I was a book-selling machine yesterday at Pegasus Books.

Sold 17 copies of my own books.  Enthusiasm is contagious.

Sold all my books to two people, the entire Vampire Evolution Trilogy and Led to the Slaughter and Tuskers.  Sold 7 copies of Tuskers overall, and 4 copies of Led to the Slaughter.

So...If I just worked everyday, who knows what would happen?

But then...I'd never write.

Same old problem.  I could run multiple stores and make more money if there was just more copies of me.  Right now, I've got great employees, and I'm using that as my opportunity to write.

Meanwhile, reviews of Tuskers are popping up on blog reviews sites.  They've all been positive, though the rankings aren't quite as high as I'm used to.  Actually, I understand this.  Giving out 5 stars on every review is probably self-defeating for any self-respecting critic blog.

But still, good reviews.

Paul, who's been a big supporter of my books from the beginning, came in and told me it was my "best book yet."  Which made me feel strangely defensive.  Like, what about my other books?  It's like someone telling you one of your children is best...

Still, I have to say, Tuskers is probably the most inherently complete package I've written.  I wanted a fast, fun read, with some good characters, and I wanted it to be different but believable, and I think I pulled it off.

I think the decision not to try the shorter version has been confirmed.  I felt that I was leaving out some of the best scenes and characters when I did that.  And sure enough, so far everyone's favorite character is the bad-ass ex-sheriff, Barbara.

As T-Day approaches, it's dawning on me that it occurs on the National Football Championship day, where Oregon is one of the two teams.  That might be distracting for my local supporters.  I hope not.  But I guess it's just a day for the old pigskin.

Turns out I have a natural marketing tool for Tuskers.  There are cool pictures and video's of pigs everywhere, which are entertaining in their own right.

I'm becoming very fond of pigs.

Star Wars Party.

For the first time in many years, Pegasus Books is hosting an event.

Marvel is releasing Star Wars #1 on January 14, so we are going to have a little party that night after closing.  Cameron is in charge, and this is what he has to say about it.

Come to Pegasus Books a week from today at six o'clock for exclusive Star Wars swag and the chance to grab your copy of Marvel Comics' Star Wars #1!

Prizes for best costume and a trivia contest, plus a free raffle!

 

He has set up a Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/events/825605074149247/ 

 

Check it out! 

It's time Bend had a good Cosplay opportunity!

MARVEL'S STAR WARS #1 LAUNCH PARTY!

Wednesday, January 14 at 6:00pm

Pegasus Books of Bend in Bend, Oregon

You're going

"Can't we open the presents now?"

Funny how time passes so quickly as you get older -- young un's don't believe this, don't even hear it, yeah, yeah, whatever...

But guess what?  When you are highly anticipating something, it turns out time slows down to its old pace again.

I've known for a month that Tuskers was coming out on January 12, 2015.

I've been like a kid at Christmas for the last week or so.  "Can't we open the presents now? Why do we have to wait?"

5 Days to T-Day.

It's a different experience from my other books, because I just never knew when Roy was going to put my books out, so I just didn't think about it.

I got my paperbacks yesterday and the book is gorgeous.  Really nice looking.  I showed a customer the cover and he shrugged, and then turned around and bought Led to the Slaughter, because he "likes history."

That's what I don't know.  Will anyone actually be interested in a Wild Pig Apocalypse?

I never thought superintelligent pigs on the rampage was much of a stretch.  I mean, for someone who thinks like me.  Sharks kill like a measly 5 people a year (cows kill dozens) but a book convinced everyone "don't go into the water!"

Seems totally believable to me.

I look forward to our Pig Overlords.

Holidays are hard on writing.

I'm not so much surprised that the holidays completely disrupted my writing schedule this year, as I am amazed that it didn't disrupt me the last two years.

Nothing got in the way of writing for those two years.

This is how silly it got.  I went to the Farewell Bend's Writer's Group Christmas party the year before last for five minutes.  Walked in, told them how excited I was to be writing, and then left.  I still remember the looks of surprise.

What I was trying to do was say, "Hey, I'm part of this group and I appreciate you all and Merry Christmas" but it probably came across as abrupt and self-congratulating.  But really, that five minutes was a huge concession!

I don't know if I'll ever recapture that first year.  But I also think I'm probably a better writer today, at a slower pace.

I've been noodling with my Nobody is Killing Me! book, while I wait for the edit of Tuskers II to come back.  Usually when I noodle with a book, it doesn't go very far.  I'm just playing around.

But the ideas keep coming with this book, and I'm 10K words in, so it may actually turn into a book.

At some point I may decide to get serious and assign my 2K word count per day to it and just finish it.  I think I started noodling with it because, though I was distracted through the holidays, I still wanted to do something.

I'm not worried about getting rusty.

A brain for trivia.

Especially pop culture trivia.

One of the ways I used to bond with my Dad was trying to outguess him on who the actors were in a movie; or the director, or the screenwriter.  We got down pretty far into the character actors parts in old B & W movies.

One time, I sat down and read one of those movie ratings books from cover to cover.  I even analyzed it a little.  Who had the most 4 star movies?  Cary Grant.

I have a very strange brain.  I probably wouldn't do that well in a trivia contest because my memory isn't instantly concise.  I have to circle around a little, but I usually get there.   I just love gathering these obscure facts that no one else cares about.

When I'm in either store, people can ask for a title or an author, and I'll almost always know who it is, or where to find it.  Or, at other times, a name or title will pop into my brain from somewhere that is so obscure that even I'm surprised I know it.

Anyway, Linda and I were visiting with my sister Sue's family last night.  These are not really pop culture people, except in the most casual way.  I used the term Steampunk and Sue had to ask what that was.

I mentioned that William Hurt had been in my store once buying Star Wars comics.  "Who's William Hurt?"

Out pops the computer and I'm looking up the wiki entry.  My nephew Carl, who I think is about  15 years old, is looking over my shoulder.

Anyway, that must have emboldened him.  So every time I was searching for a name -- proper names don't come to me as fast as they once did -- Carl would pop up and provide the name.  Any movie we mentioned, he knew what we were asking.

Finally, his father Klaus looked looked at him in surprise, and said, "WHO are you!"

And I answered for him, "He's a McGeary!"

I'm not sure how useful an ability this is in the age of Google.  Dad was known for his esoteric knowledge.  Any of the doctors at St. Charles who had a question would automatically go to him to ask.

I think it is pretty useful for a writer.  I'm writing a story right now that combines a sort of alternate universe, future Odyssey and Iliad.  I keep coming up with details that I'm sort of surprised I know or remember. It makes the creative flow that much easier.  I can make these weird combinations.

I think it's a comfort blanket for me, this accumulations of facts.  

Worst advice I ever heard.

Some other writer...I'm glad I don't remember her name...said, "Don't waste time on daydreaming."

Really, she said that.  In public.  In an essay.

I cringed, because that's pretty much all I do.  Either I'm writing, or I'm daydreaming.  Or I'm daydreaming and writing at the same time.

Come to think of it, writing IS daydreaming!

So I have a book, Tuskers, coming out in 8 days, and all I'm doing is daydreaming.  No doubt, I'm setting myself up for disappointment.  I think that's what this person would say.

So what?  I'm enjoying these 8 days of daydreaming, baby.  That's 8 more days of daydreaming then this nimrod will have!

She would say, "You're wasting time on daydreaming when you could be writing!"

Well, sure.  But what's the point of writing if you can't enjoy it?

Look -- the odds of success are slim to none.  But the odds of daydreaming about success are 100%!

What I'm saying is, daydreaming is what fuels my writing.  Without daydreaming, I never would have started.  If I looked at the cold hard facts, I'd probably look for something else to do.  Accounting, maybe.  Go back to running the store full time, probably.  It wouldn't be so bad.  I enjoyed my business -- I still enjoy my business.

Of course, owning a small business also entailed a lot of daydreaming.  And spending the rest of my time trying to match the visions in my dreams.

As far as I know, that's how it's done.

You daydream what you want, and then you try to get there.

I still don't understand what that other writer was getting at.  Or what planet she came from.

How much "Me" is too much "Me?"

It's hard to know when you've gone too far on publicizing yourself on the Internet.

Especially if you're an Internet autistic like I am.  I simply can't tell.

I try to be restrained, you know -- really I do -- and if I talk about Tuskers a bunch it's because I like the book a lot and think people will enjoy it.

I also have the nice problem of two new books coming out about a month apart from each other.  The Dead Spend No Gold is my baby too, and I think a very worthy successor to Led to the Slaughter.  I don't like having to choose between the two books which to mention, but I'm afraid of hawking both of them at the same time.  But it's like trying to choose between two children which one to push forward.

But sometimes I get sick of myself, and I have to assume others are pretty sick of me too.

However, no one will read the books if I don't publicize them.  Simple as that.  Just putting them online doesn't do any good.  My Cyber Flash book is proof of that. Basically hardly anyone has read my cyberpunk Hobbit book.  (And yet, I can't feel rejected if no one reads something, because it can't be based on the actual book, can it?)  I put this book out myself with no fanfare whatsoever.

Led to the Slaughter has sold better than my other books by far, because I decided that choosing one book and promoting it was better than trying to promote all my books.  I felt pushing the Vampire Evolution Trilogy at the same time was too much.

And I figured that if people liked Led to the Slaughter enough, they'd go ahead and buy the trilogy too. 

I'm not so sure that's true anymore.  I think for that to happen, the name Duncan McGeary has to become a brand, and I don't think that's happened...yet....

I had planned to take a two week break from mentioning any of my books, but Ragnarok Publications and Angelic Knight Press are keeping up the promotional efforts and I feel like I need to share those.  Books of the Dead Press has managed to place my books on some sites that have larger followings.

I'll be getting some author's copies of Tuskers a week before the book comes out on Amazon (in just a few more days!), and I'll be excited to see them, to touch them.  I have a feeling they are going to look magnificent.

So here's the thing I don't know.  I can't know.  From experience at the store I know that people saying they like something doesn't mean they'll buy it.

So the true test will be -- Tuskers goes on sale, and people buy it because of the idea and the cover.

And that is totally beyond my control.

Maybe a Wild Pig Apocalypse will be irresistable.  A refreshing change.

Or maybe people will shrug and turn away.

For the life of me, I can't tell.

So I approach it like I do my business.  There is the sky blue possibility -- which rarely happens.  There is the total dud possibility -- which happens more often that I like.  And there is the middle possibility -- neither as good or as bad as the other two possibilities. 

That's what happens most times -- almost all times.  The middle ground.

I've done my best.  I've written the best books I can, took the time to make them right, tried to time them right, placed them with some up-and-coming publishers, gotten very lucky with some beautiful covers.  And I've done my best to get word out -- within my skill and comfort zone.

So whatever happens, I've made the effort.

Kill/Off by John Taff review.

I've decided to spend this year reading the works of my compatriot authors at Books of the Dead Press and Ragnarok Publications.  I'm curious to see what they're writing. It will help me to understand where I fit in the scheme of things.

I figure if I read about a book per week, I should be able to keep up.  Maybe...

I decided to start with John Taff's Kill/Off because it is a thriller, rather than fantasy or horror.

Because that's the kind of books I've been reading over the last few decades.  Not that I don't love fantasy and horror!

I'm glad I chose this book first because I really enjoyed it.

Here's the Review I posted on Amazon:

"Kill/Off has a simple premise, from which the action becomes darker and more complex as the story evolves.  An ordinary man is drawn into a web of intrigue, and finds to his surprise that he has the aptitude and the moral ambivalence to survive.

As he travels through the dark highways of American life, his very anonymity is his strength and his tool for survival. It's very believable and yet intriguing, and who knows...maybe this is the way our monsters are created."

Context is credibility.

Credibility depends on context.

So we have a customer at the Bookmark who I was having a discussion about indie publishing and I showed him the cover of Led to the Slaughter.

"Hey!" he exclaims.  "I saw this at Barnes and Noble and spent five minutes looking through it.  I came that close to buying it."

"Linda has shown you this book in this store several times and you dismissed it instantly." I said, being the diplomat I am, and also knowing he had done it and being irked.  I was there once when Linda pointed it out to him and I saw his eyes glaze over before she could get the sentence out.

"I did?  Show me where it is..."

I take him over to where it is by the register.  "Huh," he says. 

Later, Linda and I drove out to Barnes and Noble and asked them if they had carried Led to the Slaughter in the store, and the clerk said, "We had a copy in June."

A....copy....in....June.

But even that is a little bit of a surprise.  The local manager must have gotten it because I'm a local.

Anyway, the point is:

Book sold by me in my own store.  Eyes glaze over.

Same book sold in Barnes and Noble.  Worth a five minute ponder and an almost purchase.

There's nothing to be done about it.  I don't think I'm the exception either.  I too look at context to tell if something is worth paying attention to.  How can we not?  There is too much coming at us, so we need context filters to make our decisions.

So...well, I'd love to have my books reach greater and greater reach through context, and it's what I'm striving for.

Same book...but more context.

More context, more credibility.

More credibility more context, more...well, you get the picture.

Fantasy is serious, dammit!

Linda and I spent New Years with my two 'little' sisters, Betsy and Susie, and spouses, Micheal and Klaus, and Sue's sons, Nic and Carl, and for a short time, before he went off to party, Todd.

Found myself getting defensive later in the evening over fantasy in general, and a book about wild pigs in specific.  Fueled by maybe one or two too many glasses of champagne.  I think they were teasing me.  I know that all of them read fiction and most of them enjoy fantasy and/or S.F.

They even cooked a pork dinner in my honor -- a little roast with two tusks and oreo cookies for eyes, and a little curly tail.

So that was cool.

I get to be kind of an annoying proselytizer about writing fantastic fiction.  Trying to convince everyone it's a valid art form, that it is metaphorical and analogous and has deeper meanings.  And the more I try, the more they joked about it.

Funny thing is, I've been joking about Tuskers from the beginning.  But, while I'm willing to tweak myself a little, I still take my writing seriously.

I had a friend in high school who told me, "Never be self-deprecating...people will take you at your word."

I've always preferred to believe he's wrong, but the evidence is often that he was right.

Like I said, I should have just smiled at their jokes, because I know they mean me well -- so it was just me getting all self-righteous and defensive about my taste for entertaining fiction. 

Besides, it either stands or falls on its own, without any arguments by me.  If you have to argue the point, you've already lost.

I mumbled in the car on the way home, "Either you get it or you don't."  And Linda, being the kind and reasonable person she is, didn't quite agree. 

But it isn't something to get all worked up about.

Same pickle, different arts.

Spent the holidays chatting with my son, Todd, who is getting his Masters in Art, and with my brother-in-law Micheal Brockman, who is the artistic director  of the Seattle Repertory Jazz Orchestra. 

What was striking was how many of us have the same concerns about our art, though we are all in different fields.

There is the "making a living" part, which necessarily interferes with the "art" part.

There is the choice between doing functional art, versus experimental art.

Todd is at a place where he can either try to continue his education, getting his Doctorate, or immediately become freelance, pursuing his artistic vision, or being practical and making art that he knows will sell.  Commercializing, so to speak.

I don't really have this dilemma.  What I write is commercial, I believe.  But I didn't purposely set out to write that way, it's just the sort of thing that interests me.  Though...I do make some choices that may not be the smartest because that is what the "art" demands.

It probably wasn't a smart choice to write a vampire trilogy, knowing how many vampire books there are, but that is where my "art" took me.

As Artistic Director, Micheal must necessarily spend a lot of his time organizing and promoting his next concert.

I sidestepped many of these problems by simply ditching my art for 30 years and making a career, then coming back and diving head first into the abyss.  I think most people who do this never come back, or come back without any ambitions.

It worked for me, I think.  I'll probably produce as much fiction this way than I would have if I'd kept writing.  Part of this is an accident of history -- I came back to writing just as the internet was opening doors.  I came back to it just as keen as I was when I left -- which might be unusual.

I also have lost interest in "literary" writing, so to speak.  I believe if I write something truly good in a genre that is every bit as valid as any so called literary work.  Probably more so.  So that has really freed me to write what I want.

Anyway -- in a highly simplified way -- the general problems in all arts seems to be art versus commercial, the need to promote your art superseding the actual art, the trying to find a niche that you are both interested in and where you can have some success.

Making a living and living your art.

Different arts, same pickle.

LInk City: links to news by.

Googled Led to the Slaughter last night.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00IJQR190?ie=UTF8&camp=213733&creative=393177&creativeASIN=B00IJQR190&linkCode=shr&tag=booofthedeapr-20&=digital-text&qid=1392914589&sr=1-1

Found a nice, long review from a blogger: http://thekansashousewife.blogspot.com/

And discovered that the book had been mentioned on another of the 'bargain' book sites.  Something called Bargainbooksy: http://bargainbooksy.com/blog/2014/12/26/20141228-horror-mystery This one doesn't seem to have had the same impact as the earlier one.  Even so I've hit a milestone in sales this month, albeit a modest one.

Also found my books being sold all over the world in all sorts of languages.  This seems to have just suddenly happened -- not sure why.  Perhaps because some of them went to .99?  Or some other change, like Smashwords  https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/410456  signing up with more venues?  Or is there some kind of time trigger?

Whatever it is, I see my books being sold all over now.  I think: Finland, South Africa, England, Germany, China, Indonesia, etc.  Heh.  (Also some pirated editions popping up.)

I'm trying to get my "Duncan McGeary Fan Club...in the most ironic way" started.  https://www.facebook.com/groups/1517995531798191/ 

I'd love to hit the ground running with some reviews on Tuskers.  Hopefully positive reviews.  Since the book is now coming out in less than two weeks, (January 12!!), I want to make sure my "Street Team" gets them in plenty of time.

Anyone who wants to join up and get free copies of my books, let me know.  Truly.  Easy as pie.  I'd greatly appreciate the help.

I don't think the physical books are going to be ready on that date, and even if they were, they take awhile to get shipped.  But I'm hoping. 

Cheer is going to host a "Release Party" for Tuskers on the Band of Dystopian Authors and Fans  https://www.facebook.com/groups/bandofdystopian/  site on Friday the 16th of January.  Give away some freebies and such.

Meanwhile, Ragnarok Publications  http://www.ragnarokpub.com/  seems to be on a bit of a roll.  Their books are being nominated for all kinds of awards, and one of their books (Dead West) just got reviewed by the Huffington Post. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandy-l-schillace/westward-expansion-dead-w_b_6385196.html

I wrote a bunch of columns about writing for Ragnarok to place with various writer and fantasy blogs, so that will be interesting.  Very similar to what I say here on this blog, with maybe a second draft.

So doing everything I can.

Led to the Slaughter is back up in the top 2% of horror books again, because of this month's boost.  So that is cool.  Also higher on B & N, though again not proportionally.

The longer I do this, the more I realize that sales are exponentially structured, and don't really start showing real power until about the top 1%.  The top 1% is pretty daunting.  That's a pretty high level for anyone to aspire to.

I think you have to do everything right: have a good book, a good title, a good cover, and then do everything you can promotionally, and even then it is probably a lightning bolt for success.

The promotion is especially hard.  I liken it to throwing pebbles at a huge boulder, trying to get it to roll downhill.

But I feel I've been in the right groove since I started, and so I keep following that groove to see where it leads.

"The Duncan McGeary Fan Club...in the most ironic way."

HI, everyone! I'm setting up my elite "street team."

I'm calling it "The Duncan McGeary Fan Club...In The Most Ironic Way."

This is a place where readers of my novels can get together and help spread the word about my latest work.

It will include free downloads of my books in exchange for honest reviews, and hopefully some other bonuses if we can think of them. Would you do me the honor of joining? It could be a really fun journey for all of us!

Just privately message me, or respond here, and let's get this bandwagon rolling! https://www.facebook.com/groups/1517995531798191/

The story tells me to Write.

So my subconscious has given its blessing to my new story.  "Nobody is Killing Me:  The Odyssey of Linger Longfellow."

Woke up with a bunch of ideas for scenes and chapters.  That's when I know a story is a go -- because the ideas keep coming.  I'd been stumped yesterday, but apparently my subconscious liked the story enough to work on it.

I'm going to write this like Tuskers, without regard to length.  Get to the end as fast as I can.

You see, getting to the end is the story.  There's a beginning and an end, and the story is just what is between the two extremes.

Another trick I'm using on myself is to tell myself that I'll just publish this myself.  Just put it out there, like Cyber Burglar.

Or more pertinently, like what I originally intended for Tuskers.  Maybe, like Tuskers, it will turn out so well that I'll try to sell it, but at least to start with, I'm removing all pressure by telling myself to write it the way I want to write it without regard to commercial-ality. 

If it comes out at 25K words, or 30K words, that will be all right.  (Tuskers started off that way, though eventually, it approached a more novel length of near 50K.)

My subconscious basically blessed me with about 4 chapters last night.  So that's in addition to the 2 chapters I've written, and that gets me well into the story.

So who am I to turn down a gift?

Bits of Writs

Was asked in a survey by Ragnarok Pub, which current book Tuskers was similar to.  And you know what?  It's pretty different.  It harkens back to books and movies like Jaws or The Swarm or Piranha. or something like that.  Not like most horror today, which usually involve zombies, vampires or some combination thereof, who are being fought by dark warriors or babes in leather or...well, they do seem pretty much the same thing.

So is that good or bad?

I think it's good.  The world needs a good creature feature.  I think super-intelligent pigs on the rampage fits the bill.

***

The thing about questionnaires like these is that they always look so sparse when I'm done filling them in.

Reminds me of when I thought I would apply for a Small Business Admin. Loan.  After I filled it out (pages and pages) I saw so much white space (especially on the 'assets' parts)  I figured I didn't have a chance in hell.

Never did apply.  Somehow survived without it.  Barely.

***

Got my two advances for The Dead Spend No Gold and Tuskers.

I purposely ask for small advances, figuring that if a book sells, then I'll make my money in royalties and if the book doesn't sell, well...that's just tough.  But I want to make it as easy for the publisher as I can.  For some reason, I feel responsible for them.

Still, I want to be able to prove to the IRS that I'm a real live writer and should be allowed to write off expenses.

Biggest trouble with royalties is that they take forever to arrive.  I still haven't heard from the third quarter, much less expect anything from the fourth quarter.  Haven't heard anything at all from Apple or B & N or Kobo.  Reports could be a very long time away.  (Amazon is better about it...)

But I knew that going in.

***

My Facebook is suddenly popping up with all kinds of S.F. and Fantasy authors who I could try to "Friend." Many of them have over a dozen common Friends.  But I still feel pretty shy about it.  I did ask one big author who I really admire, who wrote one of my favorite books, and he...well, he didn't.  So far, most of the other authors have said yes, but I'm still kind of careful.

I think I'll hold off until I've had a little more seasoning...prove myself a little more.

A lot of the success I hope for is just...well, to hold my head up.

Aren't writers supposed to have massive egos?

***

A more normal time and energy writing dynamic seems to be happening.  For a couple of years I bowled through every obstacle.  Summer or Christmas or anything else.

This Christmas I didn't even try.  I just took a step back and let the holiday take over.

I'd like to get started writing again on the first of the year, but Tuskers is coming out on January 12, and I know I'll be all excited about that.

So maybe a good time to start is January 15th or so.

Or...maybe I'll just start on the 1st and Tuskers will do what Tuskers will do.

***

Writing Tuskers was so much fun, I'm just hoping that comes across to the readers.

The innocence of writing.

To me, writing is such an innocent thing.  So blameless, a vivid world that comes out of nothing.  An addition to my life emerging out of the chaos beneath.  I marvel at how people and places become alive in my imagination and get transferred to the page -- imperfectly perhaps -- but hopefully still palpable to the people who read about them.

A joy that is self-created, dependent on nothing but myself.  All I must do is free the time, I must let these notions incubate and grow and become richer given space and energy. They are a second life, and they can be anything I want.  They exist, perhaps undiscovered, but waiting for another person to animate them and make them live again.

They make me feel younger, deeper, stronger.  I did this.  These are from my subconscious and they are meaningful -- to me, if no one else.  But sometimes they just seem to do a dance, and I know--simply know -- that given a chance others will also witness that dance and appreciate it.

Like alternate universes, they exist, mostly undiscovered, but waiting for a consciousness that will make them live.

I want people to read them, but know that people are busy with their own lives.  They don't have time for someone else's notions and when they do, there are many universes that are well known, places they can go that they know will entertain them.  There is no particular reason why they should want to explore my worlds over others.

But there is a reason for me to.  Because even the faintest glimmerings of my own are deeper than the strongest creations of others.  And I know that I have it in me to make my creations stronger, deeper, more meaningful if I devote enough of myself to them.  If I am not paid, so what?  These other people, fictional is what they are called but to me they exist, they don't ask to be paid.  They don't even know I exist.  I am not god, but a translator, trying to catch glimpses of them through the fog and describe them as best I can.

Yes, when I'm alone and not writing, I want so much for others to read what I've written.

But when I am alone and writing, it doesn't matter, because I am creating, and creating is its own reward, and the character and places I create exist solely because I took the time to grab them from the air and pin them to the page.  They need not be grateful, these characters -- I am grateful to them.

The work of it --that is all in my head, and so what?

The creation is nothing but a joy, and sometimes I get filled with a sort of euphoria that something has bloomed out of nothing.  That something exists that didn't exist before, and would never exist without me.

Linda often says that she feels a pressure to complete her stories because the characters demand it.  That otherwise she is abandoning them, their lives unfulfilled and unfinished.

I worry only that these characters and places that I have swirling behind my eyes won't get onto the page in time.  That I won't get to them and they'll remain unborn and formless.

But everytime I pick up one of my books and read a passage to myself, I know that I am responsible for these events existing and it feels good.

A Real Bestseller -- at least for awhile.

Led to the Slaughter: The Donner Party Werewolves.
Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,106 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

    #42 in Kindle Store > Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Horror
  
Well, that was fun.  I may only stay in these heights for awhile, but it's cool while it lasts.

As you probably have figured out, I check out my Amazon rankings way too often, especially if there has been a change or a new addition.

Four of my books have changed in price, and one book is new.  So lots of reasons to be curious.

So I started noticing after dinner last night that my rankings were plunging.  This is good.  The lower the number, the better.  It means I'm selling better than everyone except those lower.

So instead of the usual top 100K rankings, which basically means I'm making sales every day (and for which I'm grateful), I dropped down to 30K, then 20K, then 10K, then 5K, then 2K.  That means that out of all the books on Amazon, for that a few hours at least, only 2105 books were selling better.  
These ranking change hourly, so I just kept watching.

Suddenly, I'm in the Top 100 Horror novels.  This is a whole nother ballgame. This is a separate page, highlighted by Amazon.

By midnight, I was #64, just ahead of #65 Under the Dome, by Stephen King and #66 The Long Walk, by Stephen King.

By 2:00 AM I was #42.

(I should probably mention right here that this is only bragging rights, not money.  To make real money, I'd need to be on the New York Times Bestseller list..)

I know that being excited by being #42 may seem pretty pallid ("I'm #42!  I'm #42!") but you have to realize there are 60,000 horror novels right now.  Being #2106 overall?  There are probably 7 or 8 million or more books on Amazon.

And as much as I wanted to see how Low it would Go, sleep finally overcame ego.

I woke up, knowing something was going on.

#45 still this morning.

I started Googling around and finally discovered that I was one of featured books yesterday on a website called Ereader News Today, with 500K followers/subscribers.  http://ereadernewstoday.com/more-ent-deals-for-12-24-14/6752059/

So that shows the power of a larger venue.  Even fractions of percents start to add up.  (I may get an extra day out of this since they don't have a 12/25 posting.  But then, who is looking on Christmas?)

Of course, it can't last -- at least this time.  Stephen King will still be there tomorrow, while I'll rise to more normal numbers.

But it was fun while it lasted.

Giving in...buying an e-reader.

What a long strange trip it's been.

Don't laugh.  I don't own an e-reader.  In fact, I gave away a iPad a couple of years ago to my friend Aaron because I didn't like it.

As anyone who has been reading this blog knows, this has been a slow evolution.

The deciding factor?  I want to read my fellow authors' offerings, and...again, don't laugh...that might get kind of pricey.  I've probably got 50 authors I'd like to give a try, among the Books of the Dead roster and the Ragnarok roster.  My kinds of people, my kinds of books.  Plus, there is always a chance they'll reciprocate.  But that's not the main reason.  The main reason is that I want to know what's going on.  That's my fault.  I'm always analyzing.

I may not read all of them, or all of them all the way through, but I feel like I owe it to them to try.

I've got hard copies of all the BOTD books that were in print six months ago, to sell in the store, but again, I have a rule that if I read a book I have to classify it as "used."  So again, that could get kind of pricey.

I still love physical books.  I have no intention of giving up on them.  But I also want to peruse the wide variety of books available online, many of them very cheap or even free. 

So once again I am dragged kicking and screaming into the modern world.

Counting my chips before the game is done.

Spent a large part of yesterday afternoon trying to ascertain my rankings on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

What's amazing is to see my books nestled among all those better known titles and authors.  Sure, most of them have been around a long time and my books won't be around as long as theirs probably, but still -- to know that currently my books are outselling a whole lot of people I've read or have heard about -- that is a strangely cool feeling.

My rankings are about twice as good on Amazon as they are on Barnes & Noble, even if you take out the bottom half of Amazon's rankings to make the numbers equal.  If I'm going to sell better on one or the other, I'd rather it was Amazon, I suppose.

The reason I spent so much time clicking pages was because for the life of me I could never find my books at B &  N.  I mean, I knew they were there, but I couldn't find them on the ranking pages.

Yesterday I realized I'd been searching by "Best Matches" instead of "Best Sellers."

So...it appears that as far as B & N's recommendations or matches is concerned, I don't exist, whereas in actual sales I do...Heh.

In comparison, Amazon actually promotes my books on a regular basis.

So once I went down the bestseller lists, I found my books are clustered in the same spot, like I said about 4 times worse than Amazon if all listings are counted, about 2 times worse if I compare the top 30K books.  It will be interesting when I finally see the B & N numbers to see how they compare, but I'm pretty sure Amazon sells multiples of B & N.  (Yes, 11 months later and I still don't know...)

I am getting a sense of how older books must sell for the big guys.  But I suspect most of their money comes from newer books and selling to other media.

You know, just trying to figure it all out.