Drugs had nothing to do with it.

Watched American Masters "Jimi Hendrix" last night.

Not a lot there I didn't know.  But I did think it strange that they barely mentioned his drug use.

Now I don't much like drugs, they did me harm, but I've somewhat mellowed over the years about it.

Still, I wondered if they soft pedaled it because -- well, you know -- American Master?

Drugs did end up killing him -- if accidentally. 

The documentary made it seem that overwork -- brought on by aggressive management and his own hubris at trying to start his own recording studio -- was what did him in.  

What was really interesting was the see how much he aged in just the 4 years he was in the limelight.  Even more interesting was how the audience aged.  The fresh faced hippies of the Monterey Pop crowd were looking kind of haggard and drawn by the time of the Isle of Mann. 

But I'm sure drugs had nothing to do with it.

Dangling possibilities.

I was changing the first chapter back to 3rd Person/Past from 1st Person/Present and got to the action scene at the end -- and the story just didn't want to transition.  It seemed to be insisting on staying 1st Person/Present.

What I've got right now is a mishmash of both tenses and viewpoints -- and I've decided to leave it like that for the present until I make a final decision.

Present tense does read will, but it also reads odd.  So I have to decide if I can live with that.

Maybe this re-writing is going so well because I'm creating new material to make it work.  For instance, after a pretty eventful first chapter, I have a second chapter that introduces the hero where not much happens except inner and outer dialogue.  Lots of splaining -- which probably isn't the best way to get my guy out there.

I thought of a way to get him involved in doing something that explicates his character -- it's a bit of business, really, but a bit of business can sometimes be a good thing.

I just let myself riff on Faery last night -- comparing it to the night before Christmas, first love, and ribbons and bows, essentially.  Pretty corny.

Meanwhile, I also riffed on Cthuhlu -- the slimy, putrid world the Old Gods have drained of life.

Both descriptions can be improved, refined -- I'm just sort of glad that I thought to do it.

I'm hoping to have good solid contrasts with the hero and the villain and the two worlds they inhabit in the first two chapters -- and that the reader will pick up on the symbolism of the contrasts.

Today I'm going to try to institute the 2 parts of chapter two which are currently intertwined and see if I can't make them two different things and sequential.

It may all fall apart -- I won't know until I do it.

I'm hoping this is all helping.  What I've done over the last couple of years to try to fix things is come up with new beginnings.  I've added at least 5 chapters out of the first 8 chapters.

So in order to "streamline" the story, I've added 2/3rds to the beginning -- which seems pretty counter-intuitive.

Here's the thing -- I think, I believe, that if I have a good solid introduction -- with enough action and character development -- that the rest of the book will fall into place.

So I'm re-writing and re-writing the first 50 pages or so.  When that is all in place -- then I can proceed from there and try to make the rest of the book better.

Just this draft of Faerylander will take me twice as long as it usually takes me to write an original book.  I might be smarter just to move on -- and indeed, that's what I've done again and again since I first wrote this.

Yet each draft has seemed to be an improvement -- dangling the possibility that I can get this thing to work. 

I'm a glutton for punishment.

It's amazing how completely I've shifted to re-writing mode -- compared to creating the original stuff I was writing over the last year or so.

I'm down and dirty with Faerylander right now.  Trying different things, moving things around, changing tenses and viewpoints.  Just messing things up.  But out of the mess, a clarity begins to emerge.

I've felt that Faerylander can be a good book but I've also felt it was... missing... something.  I wasn't sure what.  I've re-written it over and over again.  I'd figure out at a flaw and re-write the whole thing.

But it still wasn't happening.

So I'd re-write  it again.  And each time, I'd sense it was improved but still not there.

Three years later, I'm deeper in the shit than ever.  Part of me is OK with it.  I mean, no one's going to read it anyway, and that really frees me to do it the way I want.  But really, the way I want is probably also the way it should be.

Anyway, the first four chapters have been redone now about five times just in the last couple of weeks.

Last night, I thought to myself -- "I need to humanize these characters."  And I got a couple of ideas how to do it.  In some ways, it also fleshes out the secondary characters, because it's the main characters responses to these secondary characters that humanizes them.

So in the first chapter, I realize that the bad guy can be explained by his relationship to his father, which required making his father a stronger character.  And sure enough, it really gave some depth to the chapter that wasn't there before.

So I started to think about my main good guy in the second chapter, and the same kind of thing happened.

I needed to have them both of them ruminate on their situations.  Have a little more inner dialogue so we can feel what they feel.  I needed to show how the good guy is a good guy and the bad guy is a bad guy. 

And a theme developed that I hadn't even thought of before.

The main character in the first chapter is so full of anger and hate that he relinquishes his humanity and invites the Old Gods in. 

Meanwhile, the second chapter has the hero trying to decide whether to return to Faery or to remain human.  In the end -- for heroic reasons -- he decides to relinquish his Faery persona to become human.

So -- you know -- there's a parallel or an opposition.  A didactic, a dichotomy.

Anyway,  the way to explicate it is by showing just how disgusting Cthuhlu is -- and how wonderful Faery is.  And to show how the villain chooses to go toward the awful for selfish reasons, but the hero chooses to turn away from the beautiful for unselfish reasons.

So that's the second thing that occurred to me -- that I need to have some poetically descriptive passages for these two realms.  Show how awful Cthuhlu is and how wonderful Faery is.

I also more or less decided that instead of cutting all these little ideas I've come up with -- I need to develop them and integrate them into the story.   So for instance, the idea of Cobb being the "Protector" was dropped in some of the later drafts, but is being revived again to show that he's a 'hero.'

In the second chapter, with the hero -- I had muddled motivations, therefore a muddled narrative.  I was trying to do two things here -- one was his conflict over whether to remain human, because of love and because he admires them.

And the other was his need to remain human in order to discover and fight the Cthuhlu.

Obviously, they're related.  But I had the Cthuhlu entering early, which just muddled the whole narrative.

So tomorrow I'm going to try to separate the two.

Part 1.  Cobb has to decide whether to remain human or not.  He hears whether his exile will be ended or not.

Part 2.  He feels the invasion of the Cthuhlu and it reinforces his decision to remain human.

So it sort of simplifies the two things, by separating them instead of mixing them, even though one follows the other.



I'll tell you what -- anyone who has read this far.  If nothing else, all this shows is how much I think and agonize over this shit.  That no one cares about.

 

A heavy day of re-writing.

I had some pretty strong ideas about what I wanted to accomplish today.  I've only done part of that.

I did beef up the Bruce character a little -- and I especially fleshed out his father and a little bit his brother.

I was wondering whether to start the story with the villain, but it's the villain who sets things in motion, isn't it?

I need to have Cobb do something heroic right away, if I can think what to do.

A weird theme has developed.  The first chapter is more or less about Bruce renouncing his humanity and going to the dark side.

The second chapter, more or less, is Cobb embracing his humanity, and doubling down.

Kind of cool.  I might even be able to make that somewhat explicit.

I do think the idea of making these characters "human" is what I need to do.

And I do think I need to work hard on some neat descriptive detail of Cthuhlu world and Faery -- contrasts, if you will.

Show the dichotomy between Cthuhlu and Faery, and Bruce and Cobb.  Kind of perfect, actually.

I think the descriptions of the two worlds need to be really good, poetic.  I've gotten a start on it with Cthuhlu but I think I need to keep working on it.  I'm hoping to write a descriptive passage about Faery.

I also think I've got a false start on the second chapter.

I think the way it really should go is -- Cobb feels the Jotun arrive, the world shifts, and he knows that there is news.  Perhaps his long Exile and Curse has been removed.

So he contemplates how he feels about that.  Does he want to stay human, or go back to Faery?

So he makes his decision.  I need to have him do something heroic in the meantime -- save a Kimmil?  From a vicious pack of dogs?  Something like that? 

Then, just as he is making the decision, both he and the Jotun feel the shift -- the invasion begins.

So they have their little talk about that and Cobb goes back.

It will require extensive rewriting -- but I think it makes the storyline less muddled.  Right now, I've got all these motivations mixed up.

This separates them into two parts.

Plus he's not reacting to a dream, he's reacting to a summons.  It gets his ambivalence about being human up first, as well as his love of Lillian.

And then -- After he's made his decision, that's when the Cthuhlu enters the story.

The Cthuhlu can wait because it's already been introduced.


I think I accomplished a lot tonight.  But I also made a mess which will require a whole lot of rewriting.  Sorry about that. 

Best S.F. Novels I've read, off the top of my head.

A list of the top 25 S.F. of "all time" on Business Insider.

Checked -- I've read 21 of them.  The other 4 I tried reading and just didn't like.  I've tried Peter Hamilton a couple of times and he just bores me. -- his writing seems really pedestrian.   I tried reading Douglas Adams and just didn't find it all that amusing and couldn't suspend my disbelief enough to enjoy it.   (I have the same problem with Terry Pratchett, except for Good Omens; I guess I like my S.F. serious.)  I didn't like Philip Jose Farmer -- I just didn't think he got historical characters right.   Didn't read Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep because I have a hard time reading a book after I've seen a movie -- but I've read dozens of other Philip K. Dick books.

Read all the rest and loved every one of them.

To Your Scattered Bodies Go       Philip Jose Farmer
Shadow of the Torturer                 Gene Wolfe
Anathem                                       Neal Stephenson
Revelation Space                          Alistair Reynolds
Left Hand of Darkness                 Ursula Le Guin
I, Robot                                         Isaac Asimov
Sirens of Titan                              Kurt Vonnegut
Contact                                         Carl Sagan
Red Mars                                      Kim Stanley Robinson
Pandora's Star                               Peter F. Hamilton
Mote in God's Eye                        Larry Niven, Jerry Pournelle
Canticle for Leibowitz                  Walter M. Miller, Jr.
Excession                                      Iain M. Banks
Starship Trooper                           Robert Heinlein
Do Androids Dream of....             Philip K. Dick
Ringworld                                     Larry Niven
2001                                              Arthur C. Clarke
Forever War                                  Joe Haldeman
Snow Crash                                   Neal Stephenson
Neuromancer                                 William Gibson
Hyperion                                        Dan Simmons
Foundation                                     Isaac Asimov
Hitchhiker's Guide to...                  Douglas Adams
Dune                                               Frank Herbert
Ender's Game                                 Orson Scott Card


Of course, it would be extremely easy to come up with an alternative list just as long or longer with books that are just as good.  For one thing, many of these authors wrote many equally good books and I'm just picking one.  Often, the one book is part of a great series.

But to keep it simple...

The list above also leaves out a lot of older S.F.  Golden Age Stuff.  So I'm putting them on my list, instead.

Obviously, I'm trying to stay away from fantasy.  That's a whole nother list.

The Postman
Startide Rising
Uplift Wars                                 David Brin
Cordelia's Honor                         Lois McMasters Bujold
Stranger in a Strange Land
Tunnel in the Sky                        Robert Heinlein
Way Station                                 Clifford Simak
Rendevous with Rama
Childhood's End                          Arthur C. Clarke
I Am Legend                                Richard Matheson
Nine Princes of Amber
This Immortal
Lord of Light                                Roger Zelazny
Languages of Pao
The Blue World                            Jack Vance
Fire Upon the Deep                      Vernor Vinge
Demolished Man
The Stars My Destination             Alfred Bester
Martian Chronicles                        Ray Bradbury
Beyond the Blue Event Horizon    Frederick Poul
Titan                                               John Varley
Armor                                             John Steakley
Man in the High Castle                  Philip K. Dick
Scar                                                China Mieville
Lensman                                         E.E. Doc Smith
Devil in the Forest                         Gene Wolfe
Berserker                                        Fred Saberhagen
Dispossessed                                  Ursula Le Guin
Caves of Steel                                Isaac Asimov
Consider Phlebas                           Iain M. Banks
The Iron Dragon's Daughter          Micheal Swanwick
Tuf Voyaging                                George R.R. Martin
Slan                                                A. E. Van Vogt
Mission of Gravity                         Hal Clement
More Than Human                         Theodore Sturgeon
Deathworld                                     Harry Harrison


Oh, Hell.  I could go on and on.  If I was at the store, I'd be looking at my bookshelves.  I've tried to carry all the above books, at least those that are in print.

 I'm probably leaving out a ton of great books.  But these are off the top of my head.

I'm rather fond of motivational tricks.

I was struggling with a way to get into rewriting.  Just examining the manuscript doesn't work -- it's boring.  I'll get a vague sense of something wrong, but can't quite get at the reasons.

So I've learned a trick.

When I write the first drafts, I write them in 3rd Person/Past Tense, as usual.  Pretty standard, comfortable format.  Most books are written this way.

Then I rewrite the book from beginning to end --  by turning it into 1st Person/Present Tense.

And then turn it back to 3rd Person/Past Tense again.

(I do this one or two chapters at a time, though.  So I'll always have a workable copy.)



There isn't a one to one correlation between the two versions.  I can't always simply change "He" to "I" and back again.

But it is this difficulty that make me look closer and see that I've used the same word twice, or that the middle of the sentence would work better at the beginning of the sentence, or that paragraph would work better before rather than after the other paragraph.

In other words, changing the perspectives and tenses forces me look at the words.  It gives me a handle.

Admittedly it's a trick.

I'm rather fond of motivational tricks.

If they work.

Rewriting is a huge mindsuck.

Somewhat to my surprise, I've been very engrossed in rewriting.  I'm down there in the muck, wrestling with the words, the structure, the mechanics of  Faerylander.

It's a huge mindsuck.  I'm more exhausted after doing 10  pages of rewriting than I ever was writing the stuff in the first place!  And it takes far longer!

I've been going to bed late, sleeping hard, waking up late.

And I'm not even completely sure I'm making it better.  It's a word jumble now -- I can't feel the story at all.  A totally intellectual activity by now.  My theory is -- make a word better and it makes the sentence better; make the sentence better and it makes the paragraph better; make the paragraph better and it makes the scene better; make the scene better and it makes the chapter better; make the chapter better and it makes the book better.

That's the theory -- and I just have to hope and assume that the original story is strong enough to carry all the added burden.  Going back over early drafts, I'm amazed how much of the original story is still there.  I'd have thought it was all changed by now.  This was a benefit of rewriting -- restoring some of my faith in the original story.

Most of the changes have been attempts to make the story move forward.  A lot of moving around of chapters.  I've never had a book where I could do that with so much -- and I'm afraid it isn't a good sign.  Story should follow story.   I shouldn't be able to  move entire chunks around and not have it impact the forward momentum.

I've tried to explain the motivations of the characters better, and create some tension. 

There is a lot of tightening of the language -- and I have to be careful about that, too.   I can take all the life out of it if I don't watch out.

What I often try to do is a final "sloppy" cut as I call it.  Letting go and just feeling it and added asides and messiness and just an overall feel.  Not working so much on eliminating everything.  Just letting it flow kind of loosely.

I enjoyed making my Director's Cut, and I've enjoyed turning many of the first few chapters into First Person/Present Tense. 

But -- in the end -- I probably won't do either thing.  I'll probably save a bit of the extended version and then go back to the conventional 3rd Person/Past tense format.  The first option reads well in short bursts, but become distracting over a longer novel, I think. 

But what all this messing around has done is given me a reason to really get down there and look at what I'm doing.   I think it has improved the writing.  I just needed a tool to get at it, and changing perspective and tenses is how I did that.
 
 Not all choices are obvious -- sometimes I move a chapter to another place and I think it improves some things and harms others.

At least with Faerylander, I'll know that I really and truly tried and did my best.  3 years of working on it, trying to 'fix' it.   Doing everything I can think of to make it better.  Then doing it again and again.

A few days ago, it felt to me like it transformed into a real book.   All the shoring up and fussing has made it a real story.

Soon -- within the next couple months, I'll settle on a final draft.  I'll finish and be done.

I feel comfortable that it is a real book.  I feel good that I've done everything I can to make it better.

I'm not sure it works, but I don't know if fiddling with it any longer will make it better.  Time to finish it, let it go, and move on to other things.

More experimentations.

Love the digital -- I can just spin off a completed manuscript and experiment with it all I want without fear of ruining the original story.

As I mentioned before, I did a Director's Cut of Faerylander the other day, putting back everything I'd taken out in trying to streamline the book.

First of all -- it wasn't as bad as I thought I might be.
Secondly -- even if I stick with the more polished version, I realized that there were two chapters from the extended version that probably should be brought back -- maybe three chapters.
Third -- I could see the overall architecture and flow of the story by having it all laid out in front of me.
Fourth -- I liked lots of the little details that I had cut -- most of them were character development and world building and really didn't slow down the story as much as I thought.

So what I may end up with a hybrid of the cut version and the Director's Cut. 


Yesterday, I decided to see what would happen if I turned Cobb, the main protagonist, back into a first person narrator, and kept all the secondary characters as third person.

The book had started off that way, but I'd been unsatisfied and changed it.

Once I started changing it to first person again, I immediately started struggling with the tenses.  It isn't a simple matter of changing "he" to "I".

All right, then -- I thought -- I'll just turn all the tenses into present tense.

Damned if that didn't work.  Almost like it was meant to be that way.  It cleared up all the problems.

Then I tried something really weird -- I turned all the third person narrative in present tense -- and damned if that didn't work even better.

So I'm thinking -- first person, present tense.  Does anyone do that?

Turns out -- lots and lots of young adult novels do.  Hunger Games, for instance.  So too with mainstream novels, Water for Elephants and Wolf Hall, for instance. 

So it isn't too outrageous -- it's being done.

But the main thing -- to me it just reads better.  I've mentioned before that the story seems to go sideways -- not propelling the story forward.  For some reason that I don't understand, this seems to fix that.  Turns out my narrative approach works for that -- almost as if I'm writing in the moment anyway, I just didn't know it.

Maybe my narrative approach was affected by all my blog writing...:)

The only thing I don't know is if this approach works for an entire book and not just the first few chapters.

My seat of the pants test is -- even after all this time, and after this many repetitions -- can I keep reading and staying engaged.  If it passes that test, then I think I'll go with it.

I may keep some or none or all of these different changes. 

It doesn't hurt to experiment.  Turns out -- it gives me motivation to rewrite, and that's the real goal.

Screw Hemingway.

You know, this constant cutting and refining?

I'm getting really sick of it.

I want to just have fun, spewing words.

My latest brainstorm?  As long as I'm going crazy, I've decided to make Cobb a 1rst person narrator again, just for shits and giggles.  Keep all the other characters at 3rd person.  Cobb is a supernatural creature, so I sort of imply that he somehow knows all this stuff going on in other character's heads.

Make yet another version.

None of this is wasted.  All of it is practice, if nothing else.  Experimenting.   I can pick which version I like best at the end -- or which combination of versions.  

Who knows?  It may work. It may improve the story.

What I'd like to do is create a really strong narrator voice.  Really get into Cobb's head.

Is he me?  Or do I imagine him as someone completely different?

You'd think telling it from MY perspective would be easier, but do I really know myself and how I come across?  Wouldn't it be better to take this character and think of him as someone completely different?  Wouldn't he be delineated better?  More interesting for being different?

I have the feeling doing Cobb in first person will make the explication smoother, more natural.

I don't want a snarky tone, like when I started.  I want it to be bemused, kind of confused by human behavior, but curious, constantly struggling with what  it means to be human.  As if it was a very foreign character in a very foreign land.

It also allows me to much more smoothly introduce all the famous writer's I bring in.

It allows me to develop mood and perspective.

Most of all, it gives me yet another chance to rewrite -- and I don't think that is ever bad.  A changed word here, a changed word there -- it's almost always for the better.

I think what's happening here is -- I have to please myself.  Sorry dear reader.  But most of you aren't going to read it, are you?  So I'd best have fun and enjoy what I've created, because it's becoming pretty clear to me that these books aren't going anywhere -- traditionally or online, so I may as well do it the way I want since it makes no difference.

The way I want to do isn't necessarily what makes the book better -- it's what makes me feel good.  Not what my intellectual, critical brain says.

This, despite knowing that my intellectual, critical brain probably creates a better book for the reader.

But maybe not for me.

So call me self-indulgent, but that's what I've got here.  I'm not giving up writing -- I'm giving up writing worrying about whether anyone else likes what I've done.

All this brings back some of the playfulness of writing.    Work as play.  Like creating a work of art and knowing I should stop but wanting to keep adding to it until its a big ungainly mess but didn't I have fun doing it.

Fuck Hemingway.

Faerylander -- the Director's Cut.

I got it in my head yesterday to see what the book would look like if I put everything I ever wrote back into it.  A Director's Cut, if you will, an everything but the kitchen sink version.  Actually, the kitchen sink too.

I thought it might double the size of my 100,000 word book.

It ended up only adding 22,000 words, or about 20%.  Surprised the hell out of me, because it seems like I've spent the last year trying to winnow it down.

I was able to get an overall sense of the architecture of the story.  It's a bit loose and messy, and yet it is all internally consistent.  I probably have lots messy, silly stuff -- but I kind of like it.

What was cut?

Lots of explication -- how Cobb was the "Protector" of species, both natural and supernatural.  How he was a drunk. 

I included lots of creatures I  made up that I later cut.

Several chapters with authors -- C.S. Lewis, Arthur Conan Doyle (with Houdini),  Charles Williams.

I also had some silly stuff, and some late additional characters and even several scenes late in the book that I had cut out.

I put all of it back in.

That's the great thing about digital -- it's not impossible to create several versions of the same book.

And you know what?  I like it.  Personally.  Weirdly enough, I think it kind of livens up things.

It reminds me of how Deviltree was cut down to size -- and by any objective standard, based on response from publishers it was probably better.  But I always liked the version just before that final steamlined version -- the messy, not quite so cut version.

It's a case of knowing intellectually that the book is probably improved if it is streamlined, but missing all the little extras I had written.  The extras do add some history and tone and even character development, even as they slow down the story.

Thing is, the story goes sideways so much that maybe keeping this extra material doesn't really hurt it, but just fleshes it out and makes the sideways material more interesting.

Also, maybe I shouldn't be afraid of the "silly" because the whole idea is silly when you get right down to it, so pulling some of the more flamboyant stuff doesn't make it any less silly.

At the very least, I found two chapters that I think I do want to include again, even in the more cut version.

Or -- I may just go with the Director's cut, since the book probably going to please anyone anyway so I might as well please myself.  It's a mess, which I probably really can't fix.  So I might as go with the original fleshed out mess.

 Just put it quietly online and hope that a few people like what I did.

I'm going to take the rest of today and tomorrow to further refine it -- and I may just hire Lara to take a stab at it again.

I think I may have finally got it.

There comes a moment in every book when it becomes real to me.  Maybe not to anyone else, but to me.  This is the prerequisite for a book being put out into the public.

I'm not saying the book is great, just that it feels like a real story.

I have to identify with the book.  That seems obvious, but believe me -- you can write a lot of words that you think are interesting, and build a plot, and have characters -- and still be missing that.

If I had to pinpoint the moment, it's when I start to feel for the characters.  When I start to identify with them.

That happened almost immediately with The Vampire Evolution Trilogy.  I liked each of the main characters, I saw them as separate people with their own personalities.

With Faerylander, I've struggled to reach that moment.  I had to go back again and again and redefine the characters, make them more understandable and sympathetic and unique.  Much harder to go back and do that than start with recognizable characters in the first place.

But I've worked and worked at it, and I finally feel like I've achieved it.  I finally want to follow what these characters do and say.  I finally see them as real people in my mind's eye.

It also happened right away with Led to the Slaughter -- maybe because many of the characters are historical characters who really existed.  Linda says a really nice thing -- "It feels like that's the way the historical event really happened to me."

So with Faerylander, I had to go back and make Cobb an underdog and a sympathetic character.  I had to try to develop the love story between him and Lillian, and the love story between Parsons and Sandra.  I had to put the characters I care about in jeapardy.

I took out all the snark, beginning with removing the first person narration.  I beefed up the main villain (he's in three out of the first five chapters...)  and fleshed out some of the other villains.  I tried to create tension by having a timeline and characters on the track as the train bears down on them.  I tried to streamline things and make it flow forward, not sideways.  And so on.

It's been a major overhaul, followed by major overhaul, followed by major overhaul.  Out of a 120K novel, I've probably added 50K words and tossed 75K words, and then changed my mind and brought some scenes back and ditched other things.  I've rearranged the chapters every which way.  

I've worked on the premise and plot until it finally made some sense.

Last night, for the first time -- I felt like I got it.   The first 50 pages work.  That's where most of the problems were, so now I feel confident I can fix the rest

By the time I'm done, it will have been a full 3 years since I started writing something called "I'm Almost Human."  I've set it aside for months at a time, only to come back to it and try again.

That's an eternity when I can write a first draft in a few months.

It's the most work I've put into a book since my first book, Star Axe.  I worked off and on on Star Axe for five years.  I suspect I've put more real work and time into Faerylander, actually.  (I also worked my butt off on Deviltree, but again -- I don't think quite as much.)

Every book can probably be improved, again and again -- but I think Faerylander is finally ready.  So I think this will be the last rewrite.  (How many times have I said that?-- but in each of the previous cases, I always had big doubts.)

The problems that remain are somewhat inherent in the concept and probably can't be completely fixed.  But I've fixed the parts that I can.  More than this, and I'd be better off going off and writing something new...

It will take me at least the rest of the month to do the rest of the rewrite.  It's work.  I have to force myself to do it.  But when I change something and it is an obvious improvement, that does give me some motivation.  I still don't like rewriting, but I'm getting the hang of it.

I've somewhat tricked myself.  I ask myself on every paragraph if there is a telling detail or character embellishment I can add.  I ask myself on every paragraph if there is something in the way, or that isn't needed, or can be said more succinctly.  If I approach it that way -- like building a brick wall -- I can see the steady improvement.

But boy is it hard.

I'm probably still months away from putting it up for reading, but I can see it happening now.

Fucking re-writing.

For the first time, I think Faerylander may become a real book.  For the first time I believe that a reader with a good faith level of suspension of disbelief could really enjoy this book.  There were always complications before, scenes that didn't quite work, motivations that didn't quite make sense.

But everything is finally started to come together.  The characters are finally consistent and the story finally flows.  There is still a little too much sideways movement, but nowhere near as much as there was before and not so much that -- as I said -- that a moderate good faith amount of Suspension of Disbelief won't make this a good read.

All because of Fucking re-writing.

Earlier:

Finished re-writing chapter 3 of Faerylander earlier today.   I'm going to try to start on chapter 5 (4 was done earlier) tonight and see how far I can get.

Fucking re-writing.  What an unbelievable pain in the ass.

So the first four chapters are done and sent off to be looked at by Lara.  I'm going to try to get a more people to look at these first 25 pages or so and see if I can't get them really, really polished. Anyone who's willing to help, I'm not proud.

I'm sort of determined to make sure these first 25 to 50 pages as good as they can possibly be.

Linda is gone for the weekend for a church event, so it's a good time to drink wine earlier, and work on the manuscript the whole evening, without the TV on.

Let's be clear.  I'm not in the mood to re-write.

Fucking re-writing.

Thing is, unlike first draft writing, which is fun and fulfilling, I don't think I'll ever be in the mood to re-write.  It will probably always be a matter of work for me --

So I just have to sort of force myself to do it.  The wine is my reward for doing it.



OK.  Started around 8:00.  Did a quick 10 pages, and I think I improved it dramatically.  I've got more of a relaxed feel going, which comes from knowing this is a final draft.  So there is no doubt that re-writing is a good idea. 

So from now on, I think that will need to be a requirement.  This re-writing.

Fucking re-writing.

It think the passage of time helps.  This is at least the sixth full re-write.

Fucking re-writing.

It also helps to finally have the story in the structure I want, so I can concentrate on continuity.

I almost hate to admit that re-writing is working -- because it kinda means I have to do it, whether I want to or not -- and I don't have fun doing it.  If it wasn't effective, or if I wasn't quite sure, I could dispense with it.  Tell myself that I need merely be creative and forget all that other stuff.

Unfortunately, it seems to be helping.

Fucking re-writing.

I've done the first 50 pages of the book and I think it works.  For the first time, really, Faerylander seems to work.

I believe if I can get the first fifty pages of a book right, then the rest of the book is manageable.

The story very different from the first draft -- which I started almost 3 years ago -- though it is pretty much what I more or less intended with the first draft, I just didn't know how to get there.

So this book is going to be presented to the world finally.  I think I'm finally ready.   When I've finished with the re-write and given another editing job and then yet another once over, I'm either going to send it off to agents and publishers, or put it only myself.  

The first 25 pages I'm going to try to get as much help as I can on for that purpose-- so that it is as good as it can possibly be.

Fucking re-writing.

Books are not dead.

As I filed one classic book after another yesterday, it occurred to me that all the talk of books dying is premature.

Every book I filed was solid -- a great or good book -- and each and every one of them had sold at least once before and will sell again. 

Good solid books.  These were just the replacements.  I could find hundreds if not thousands more of good solid books if I had the time, money and space.  There is no lack of potential.

There are stories out there about how ebooks have flattened and even declined.  I predicted this -- as soon as the newness wore off, people would come back to books.  My guess is that ebooks will be an adjunct to physical books, that they won't completely replace them.

What I've found after the last couple of years is that the tactile appeal of books extends to hardcovers.  Obviously, it isn't just about price or convenience if people will buy expensive hardcovers rather than a cheap paperback and/or ebook.

There are other stories about how Apple has decided, arbitrarily, that some books are not suitable for them.  And stories of publishers assuming that a book isn't suitable and censoring themselves.

I don't think we want Apple or anyone else telling us what we want to read.

So all in all, I think all the hype about ebooks was overblown.  Books are here to stay.

All I know is -- the more effort, time, space and money I put into bringing books into the store, the more books I sell.

Tons of books Liveblog.

I've got over 20 big boxes of books sitting in the hallway.

So what I'm going to do today is have a running blog about stocking books -- it will probably take all day, so you can come back at the end of the day to see how it all ended up.

I'm guessing about 600 books.  Which is a lot considering each of my shelves only holds about 25 books.  So I'll need 24 shelves just for the new books.

I probably have about half that many shelves available, and even then only if I move things around.

But I always find a way.  (If a few of the books have to go into storage for a week or two, that's OK.)

A third of the books are "premium" books, and they'll go out first.  Then the rest of the books are just my thinking something looked interesting -- but no hurry to sell because I got a deal on them.

I also ordered a whole bunch of greeting cards, many of them with a Christmas theme, so I'm going to put in a new card rack -- somewhere --- I'm not sure where the hell I can fit it.

Anyway, I love the challenge -- and I love looking at all the new books.

Like one big Christmas!

LIVE-BLOG.

 11:00:  Got to work and the lock on the door isn't working.  Wrestled with it until it opened.  Not an auspicious start.  (Apparently, much of downtown was superglued recently -- first I'd heard of it.)

Ran downstairs to see if I had an extra and appropriate card rack,and sure enough found one.  Surprisingly, I think I may have found the last square foot of space in the store where it would fit..  Have to clean it -- it's been gathering dust in the basement.  It had a bunch of promotional postcards in it -- which are kind of cool actually, so I need to open a box so I can store them.

Box #1.  Dune, right there on top, 2 copies.  A Moveable Feast, Hemingway; Blood Meridian, Cormac McCarthy; Lord of the Flies,  William Golding.  A copy of Fun Home, one of the best graphic novels I've ever read -- no, it is the best I've ever read.  Use of Weapons, Iain M. Banks (I'm planning carry all the "Culture" novels, one of the best S.F. space operas ever.)  The City, the City, China Mieville (dammit, a duplicate -- how does that happen?);   Call of Cthulhu, Lovecraft.  A Meeting in Corvallis, S.M. Stirling, The Change series.  (An example of a popular series that I personally  just couldn't get into.)

One new title, Where'd You Go, Bernadette -- put it on the "New Arrivals" rack.

First and smallest box of books fit right in, heh.

I have a couple of storage spaces behind the counter, so I'm consolidating the extra's I already have into one space, and using the other one for the new arrivals.  If I can't figure out quickly where to put a book, I'll just store it until I can figure it out.

Meanwhile, I'm going to do some necessary paperwork before I open my first box of books.  Back later.

11:30.  Checked out the invoices.  About 20% of the new books were put on backorder, which is about average.  Got pretty much 100% of discount books.  So 660 altogether.

Actual number of books ordered:  720.

Box #2:  Going to open the biggest book I got, with hopes that there are some calendars there.  Never know how calendars are going to sell -- it seems like some years they do, and some years they don't.  Have pretty much sold out this year so far.  I think it's because I got an earlier start.

Nope, no calendars.  A few big honking books.  Joseph Goldyne, an art book.  Lumen Picturae, a "drawing art manual.", and Captain Easy, Complete Sunday Newspapers.(I can't resist art books, apparently, though they rarely sell.) 

I'm taking this one box at a time, then breaking down the box.  If it takes all day, that's just fine.

Meanwhile, I again am going to take a break to do some store work.

1:30:  Back to open another box.  Been dealing with those pesky customers...

Box #3:  Wonderstruck, Selznick, sequel to Invention of Hugo Cabret;  Initiate Brother, Sean Russel, (purchased on someone's rave.); Walking Dead Compendium 2; Where the Wild Things Are (hope this copy doesn't get destroyed like the last one...); The Two Towers and Return of the King (always like to have a hardcover set); The Fault in Our Stars, Green; On the Road, Kerouac; The Old Man and the Sea, Hemingway; Cannery Row, Steinback; Good Omens and Stardust and American Gods, Gaiman; Cat's Cradle, Vonnegut; Graceling and Bitterblue, Cashore; Goliath, Westerfeld; Glamorama,Ellis; Lemony Snicket, #3, 5, 11. (Try to carry whole series.)

Vonnegut, Gaiman, Steinbeck, Kerouac, Hemingway, all authors I'm trying to carry a full selection...

Box #4:  The Prophet, Gibran; Sandman Slim, Kadrey (customer rave); The Last Colony, Scalzi; Childhood's End and Rendezvous with Rama, Clarke; Catch-22, Heller; Boneshaker, Priest; Illustrated Man, Bradbury; Lion, Witch and the Wardrobe, Lewis; Ranger's Apprentice, #2 and 5; Power of One, Courtenay; Shantaram, Roberts; The Tao of Pooh, Hoff; Incarceron, Fisher; The Gunslinger, King; Strip and Vanishing Act, Thomas Perry (my favorite mystery writer);  Catching Fire, Collins; Ashen Winter, Mullin; Eye of the World, Jordan; Bring up the Bodies, Mantel.

Clarke, Bradbury, Perry, Jordan; again try to carry most of the books.  If I list one book of a series, it usually means I carry the whole series.

I'll be back...

2:30:  Day half over, and I've only done 4 boxes out of 21.  I'm going to at least try to do the premium books today

Box 5:  Frazetta Sketchbook; Children of Dune, Herbert;  Walking Dead: Rise of the Governor and Walking Dead: Road to Woodbury;  Kirkman; The Annotated Lovecraft; The Diamond Age, Stephenson; Hearts of Stone and Steam, Mayer; Brave New World, Huxley; Dork Diaries 5;Cities of the Plain, McCarthy; Night of the Living Trekkies; Dark Place, Gillian Flynn; 11/22/63, Stephen King; City of Fallen Angels, Clare;Allegiant and Divergent, Roth; Titan, John Varley; Daisy-Head Mayzie; Diary Palahniuk; Dead Until Dark, Harris; Norwegian Wood and Kafka on the Shore, Murakami; Tears of the Sun, Stirling; (2) Zombie Survival Guide, Brooks; Clash of Kings, Martin (hdc).

Box 6:  The Cuckoo's Calling, by somebody named Galbraith; The Casual Vacancy, Rowling;  The Dream Thieves, Stiefvater; Matter, Iain M. Banks; The Goldfinch, Tartt (One of my rare timely bestsellers.); The Paris Wife, McLain; Pulp, Buckowski; Beautiful Ruins, Walter; (3) Ender's Game, Card; Sword of the Lady, Stirling; Deepness in the Sky, Vinge; Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (hdc); Old Man's War, Scalzi; The Magician's Nephew, Lewis; When You Are Engulfed in Flames, Sedaris; Iron Council, Mieville; 1984, Orwell; Young Miles, Bujold (the Vorkosigan series, great stuff.); Foundation, Asimov;

Box 7:  Opened one of the discount boxes, because I'm still looking for calendars....Wow.  The whole box was one book -- The Art and Spirit of Paris, I and II.  Originally a 250.00 book.  I like getting these outrageously big books and then selling them much cheaper.  In this case, 100.00.  Honestly, a pretty silly thing to do...

Box 8:  Two more outrageous books.  Wonders of the Indian Wilderness (originally 185.00, selling for 100.00.) and The Horse (150.00/100.00)  What the hell was I thinking?

3:30;  I have to break off and do my weekly orders.  I'll be back.

4:30:  I think I underestimated how long this would take.  Not a good night to stay late, you know.

Box 9:  Necronomicon, Best of Lovecraft; Sacre Bleu, Moore; Eldest, Paolini; Cryptonomicon, Stephenson; Red Mars and Blue Mars, Robinson; Sophie's Choice, Styron; Neverwhere, Gaiman; The Dragon Reborn and The Shadow Rising, Jordan; Crime and Punishment, Dostoevsky; Geek Love, Dunn; Odd and the Frost Giants and Ocean at the End of the Lane, Gaiman; High King of Montival, Stirling; Kraken, Mieville; Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fir, Rowling; Insurgent, Roth; Dork Diaries 1; The Stranger, Camus; The Blue Girl, De Lint; Bloody Crown of Conan

Box 10:  Game of Thrones (hdc); Consider Phlebas, Banks; The Hobbit, Tolkien; Slaughterhouse-Five, Vonnegut; Doctor Sleep, King; Martian Chronicles, Bradbury; Infinite Jest, Wallace; City of Ashes, Clare; Wonder, Palacio; The Sneetches, Seuss; The Perks of Being a Wallflower, Chbosky; Un lun Dun; Mieville; Snow Crash, Stephenson; 

Box 11:  A River Runs Through It, Maclean; East of Eden, Steinbeck; Tales of Beedle the Bard, Rowling; How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You; The Dain Curse, Hammett; Animal Farm, Orwell; Invisible Monsters and Snuff, Palahniuk; All Quiet on the Western Front, Remarque; The Doors of Perception, Huxley;  The Bone People, Hume; The Dharma Bums, Kerouac; The Stand, King; Inheritance, Paolini; Cloud Atlas, Mitchell; Living Dead in Dallas; Name of the Wind, Rothfuss;  Crown of Midnight, Maas; The Giving Tree, Silverstein; The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Adams; Miles, Mystery and Mayhem, Bujold;


6:00;  Running out of juice and time.  Only got halfway through.  Also got:  4 Heinlein books; 6 Lee Child books; 5 Terry Pratchett books; 8 Daniel Silva; and 6 Jim Butcher; 4 Pullman. 

That's it.  I'm going home.  There are ghouls and long-legged beasties out there...


.

Wild Tarnished Places.

Wild Tarnished Places.

There are wild tarnished places
in the vacant lots between
tamed by abuse and neglect
and refuge for smaller creatures.

Who live beside us
finding us the more
oblivious carnivore, the more
careless hunter.

Unaware of the jack rabbit,
the skunk, the porcupine
the spoiled deer wandering between
wilderness and our backyards.

So much waste, yet
a place of quiet dust
even as we blunder by on walks
our eyes on marked paths.

The kids on their bikes
they know of these places
unfinished forts, bicycle jumps
and broken lightsaber branches.

They fill this space for awhile
with noise and torn litter
and then leave it, abandoned
to quiet and nurturing neglect.

These wild tarnished places,
always there beside us
out of sight and out of mind,
forsakened and alive.

Going sideways.

Once again, I am trying to fix Faerylander (nee Nearly Human, nee Almost Human.)  Worked all yesterday afternoon on the first 25 pages.

I'm going to keep polishing these pages until they gleam.

The first chapter is really dark.

I took some material I had cut previously, because it had a lighter tone, and added it to the second chapter.  I then cut the second chapter in half, and made the second half of it the fourth chapter, which I think breaks up the story better.

I think it's improved.

The biggest problem is that the story is pretty complicated by now, so anything I can do to simplify things will help.

I'm both adding and subtracting material, and then trying to smooth it out. I just have to have faith this is improving the book.

I've been using the technique of adding a sentence to every paragraph.  What ends up happening though, once I'm down wrestling in the muck, is that other changes are obvious.  Which is what I need -- an excuse to really get in there and try to improve the mechanics and story and characters.


An example -- the main character, Cobb, has been exiled from Faery to earth.  In the second chapter, he goes to find out if he is to be allowed back into Faery.

The way it was written before, he is still banished, which is why he is present on earth to fight off the Cthuhlu invasion.

It occurred to me that it would be a better character development to have him actually be welcomed back into Faery, and for him to want to return to Faery, but for him to turn it down because he wants to help the humans.

A subtle change, but makes him a better guy -- self-sacrificing.  Much of what I'm trying to do with this rewrite is to delineate the characters.  Flesh them out, make them consistent, make them either sympathetic or unsympathetic.


All this should be done properly in the first draft, but I started this book with the wrong tone, the wrong plot, wrong character development, wrong theme, etc. etc.  It happened that way because it was the first book I tried to finish when I came back to writing so I made all the mistakes -- but I was going to have to relearn sometime and this was the book where I did much of my relearning.

On the other hand, it has kind of cool premise, and I've become fond of the characters and setting, and I've rewritten it so many times that it has started to gain some depth and polish -- So I think it is worth saving.

The big problem with this book is a really big one -- it mostly goes sideways and then forward and then sideways and then forward.  An occasional sideways in a book is O.K., but not if it is half the book, or a third of the book or some major portion.

So I'm trying to clear out the underbrush, make it crystal clear and clean, and deepen the characters -- and then maybe the trip will be enjoyable enough that readers will be willing to go sideways for a while. 

First 30 pages.

The first 30 pages of a book are probably the most important.  Or maybe it's the last 30 pages.  Or maybe it's everything in-between....

Anyway, the first 30 pages are important.  So as I take on the task of trying to rewrite all the books I've got original drafts of, I'm concentrating on the first 30 pages most of all.

So here I am, rewriting Faerylander yet again.  I'm not sure how many drafts I've done.  It's all starting the blur.  But I've just never been satisfied with it, and I'm just trying yet again to tinker with it.

The main thing I'm looking at is getting right into the plot and then keeping the momentum going.  The hard part of the first 30 pages is that it is the place where the most new information is deposited and yet it is the place where it is most important to catch a reader's interest.

It just isn't easy to do both.

I've rewritten Faerylander (which used to be Nearly Human) so many times that I can't really tell if I'm improving it or not.  I think I am, so I have to stand by that.

Most business advice is wrong -- it seems to me.

The previous post about location, location, location,  got me to thinking about what I read everyday in the business news -- especially about bookstores.

I'd say, in order of importance, the things that are emphasized in most discussions about business are these.

1.)  Promotion and identity.  What events do you offer?  How do you make yourself cool?

2.)  Location amenities -- what do you offer in the way of amenities to draw people to your store?  Coffee or booze or lounging?

3.)  Service.  All the extra things you do to make the customer happy.

4.)  Price.   What discounts do you give?  What incentives can you use?

5.)  Displays.  How do you arrange your product?

6.)  Location.

7.)  Inventory.  What inventory do you choose to carry?  In what proportions?


So I would reverse that list -- in exact order of importance.  In my opinion, the advice bookstores are getting is backward, opposite of what it should be.

1.)  Above all -- Inventory, inventory, inventory.

Yet, I can't remember the last business article about bookstores that I read that even mentioned inventory, much less made it the focus of the story.

By FAR the most important thing about bookstores is inventory.  Do you have the book the customer wants?  Do you have the book they didn't even know they wanted?  Do you have a good selection of what you carry?

It astounds me when I visit other bookstores and I see how limited their inventory is.  How often they duplicate books. 

This duplicate book thing drives me nuts.

Here's the thing.  You can get books, minimal postage, in one or two days from the book distributors.  You only have to order 10 books, mix or match.  So any book you sell is only two to three days from being replaced.

But almost every bookstore I go into has multiple copies of every book.  Not just the best-sellers where it might make some sense (and even here, two or three copies ought to suffice) but mid-list books.

When I ask why, it's because they get a better margin ordering direct from the publisher.

OK.  What's the extra margin?  Maybe 3 or 4 or 5%.  For this, they have to buy up to 10 copies.

So you can have 10 copies of 20 books for an extra 5%.

The customer walks in and if he or she isn't interested in those 20 books, no sale.

By foregoing the 5% you could have 200 single copies of books!!!  You up your chance of catching a customer by 10 times!!!

This is just one example.  There seems to me that there is NO EXCUSE not to have more books in your store, as many books as you can fit in.  There should be no blank space whatsoever.  This should be your everyday focus.  What is selling?   What is something like what is selling?  Is there something selling that I should be carrying? 

How can I get more books?

My selection is limited only by space -- which is maddening.  Especially when I see larger stores that look sparse.

It isn't even a question of price -- you can pick up very good books from wholesalers at very good prices -- if you know your books....

2.) Location.   See previous post.

In addition, what I see are people picking too fancy a store in a bad location.  That is, they like the space so much they locate non-bypasser location.  Why do they do that?  Because they've been told they must have location amenities and promotional flourishes.

I'd much rather accept a smaller, less shiny location in a much more visible part of town -- even if it is more expensive.  Saving money on a location is stupid.  Your business should handle the costs of a location or don't open in the first place.

By being in a more expensive and possibly smaller location, and by focusing on inventory, inventory, inventory -- you won't have the amenities, the promotional events.

Big deal.  I think people waste way, way too much time on those things -- they don't pay off, as far as I can see.  They only distract you from what should be your main job -- SELLING BOOKS.

3.)  Display.

Again, almost never mentioned in most article about bookstores.  But again, I see a lot of wasted space in stores.  Every inch should have a book, every place you can place a book with the cover displayed, you should do that. 

But if you can't, then have stacks of books.  But most of all, display your books.

Not your couch.  Not your coffee counter.

BOOKS!

4.)  Price.  

Personally, I think if you are doing a good job you should be able to charge full retail price.  Yes, you'll not make as many sales, but the sales you make will count.  Again -- INVENTORY!

You have the book they want -- the book they've been looking for.  You have that book because you make enough money selling books for full price that you can buy more books.  Which means the next customer in the door is more likely to find the book they've been looking for.

It's a virtuous cycle.

But again, most advice is the opposite.  Sell stuff cheap.  Have sales.

5.)  Service.

Again, books.  You have a register and you make sure you greet every customer and talk friendly to them and are knowledgeable and helpful.  You offer to order the book they are looking for.  You Google their questions.
You know, bookselling.

That's all the service you need.

6.) Location amenities.

Only one -- books, books, books.  No couches, no coffee, no events.  All are counter-productive and not worth the space, time or energy. 

Just books.

7.)  Promotion.

Screw it.  If you can get some free publicity, by all means.  Otherwise, screw it.  Advertising is a total waste of money. 

Moving usually isn't the answer.

Linda and I drove to another town to check out a bookstore.  It had moved.  We looked for its new location and it was out of business.

Funny thing about location.  It's super important -- the old saying in business is that the three most important things in business are location, location, and location.

So you try to pick the best site you can afford.

But after that, my recommendation is you stick with it -- make that location work for you.   I can't tell you the number of times I've seen an existing business move -- and then fail. 

I'm not saying there aren't times you should move -- but be very careful.  The grass isn't always greener, bigger isn't always better.  There are strengths and weaknesses to every location -- for instance, the Bookmark has great drive-by visibility, but lousy walkby.  My store is exactly the opposite; great walkby, lousy drive-by.

So you adapt your store to your location and make it work.

Getting down in the mud of rewriting and wrestling with the words.

I'm finally knuckling down in an attempt to rewrite my existing manuscripts on a systematic basis.

As an experiment, I took the first 5 pages of one of my books and added a sentence to every paragraph.

Sounds arbitrary.  But damn if it didn't improve it.  It improves the pacing and the depth and the overall sense of reality.

I've always felt that my biggest problem is that I rush my books a little.  I get into the story and just take off.  Nothing wrong with that, in fact, I think its a good technique to get a fast moving story down.

But I need to go back and fill in holes -- flesh out the story.  I'm not one of those writers who needs to go back and cut extra wordage.  I'm the opposite.

So this extra sentence idea (which in practice sometimes turns out to be a word here or there, or a word cut here or there, or two sentences or three) gives me a chance to look at how to improve the writing.  It's an excuse, really, a motivator to take a closer look.

I discovered this trick because there were times when I was just one or two sentences from adding another page to my manuscript and since my books are kind of on the short side, it doesn't hurt to add a page here and there.  (This is a stupid writer trick, since it is digital anyway and might not turn into another page on someone's ereader.)  So I'd look for a paragraph that was just a few letters from a new line and I'd look for something to add.

But what started out as a stupid writer's trick, actually seemed to improve the paragraph I worked on.  It added some telling detail that was implicit in the story but which I hadn't brought out.

I work first on characterization.  Is there something I can say that will strengthen the character?

Then I look at description.  Is there some telling detail I can add to story?

Finally, I look at explicating -- is there something that needs to be explained?  Or that will make the story clearer?

What happens in practice, actually, is that sometimes the extra sentence isn't really necessary and when I'm done I go back and take it out or move it.  But most often, I'm finding, it adds heft to the story.

I hate just staring at a page and trying to figure out how to improve it.  I just can't see it that way.  I sense that something isn't right, but I can't always figure out what it is.

So this technique allows me to get down in the mud of rewriting and actually wrestle with the words.