Discombobulated.

I'm discombobulated by the the argument between publishers and Amazon.

Because I can see both sides.  Not just some of one side and some of the other.  The whole thing.

And for once in my life, I can't make up my mind about it.

Even worse, I can't seem to synthesize the two arguments to come up with my own answer.

So I have two completely opposing opinions at the same time.  They both seem completely correct.

I await further developments...

First draft high.

This is so much fun!

Oh, my.  I'd forgotten how much I enjoy creating my stories.  I love living in these characters, having these adventures.

After struggling with the re-writing of Faerylander for weeks, it was like diving into a cool lake on a hot summer day to be creating Ghostlander again.

Creating just takes me out of myself, into another world.  Which I gotta believe is a really healthy thing, especially for someone as obsessive/compulsive as me.  Worrying about something other than myself...

I get a high from it.  Like reading a really good book.  I'm not saying I'm writing a really good book, though I'm trying.

What I'm saying is that by trying to create a really good book, I'm getting the same feeling I get from reading a really good book, if that makes any sense. 

I have a goal of 2000 words per day.  I try not to do less than this, if I'm going to devote a whole day, and I also try not to do too much more than this, because I think it keeps me fresh.

But sometimes there is an open field in front of me.  Makes no sense not to run with it.  I've been doing more like 3000 words a day over the last few days and I think I can keep that up.  I'm about 40% of the way through the first draft.

As usual, I'm having great fun writing the flashback chapters...the murder scenes and the subsequent hauntings, and also the kind of "historical' incidents of haunting.

Was having a hard time coming up with the current day narrative though.  Struggled with that all day yesterday, and then last night, as I was going to sleep it came to me.  The main character, Cobb, may not be as directly involved emotionally, but three of the secondary characters  are, so that should be enough to carry the story.

I needn't have worried about loosing the thread from taking time away.  My subconscious was apparently raring to go...

The Adventures of Burp the Burrow Wight: A Fable for Grownup Kids

Hard to explain.

I started writing something yesterday called, The Adventures of Burp the Burrow Wight: A Fable for Grownup Kids, which is every bit as silly as it sounds.

Linda was delighted with it.  Called it "genius."  Laughed at all the right parts.

But really, what the HELL is it?  Uncategorizable, that's what.

I'll keep writing it as long as the story keeps coming to me, but I don't know what it is.


Meanwhile, I did finally manage to start writing Ghostlander again.  I seem to find it easy to write the original murder, rape and mayhem scenes that create the ghosts of the story:  don't know what that says about me.  Maybe such scenes are inherently dramatic.  Maybe my subconscious is a murdering psycho....

I think I've loosened up on my writing -- I feel more self-confident letting myself go.  I do keep a watchful eye, though, that I don't go too far off track, like I did with the original Almost Human -- now Faerylander.

What I think I've figured out is this -- though I may not know the plot before I start, it is essential that I have assembled the right ingredients.  Characters, scenes, settings, etc. with which I can construct a story.

Led to the Slaughter is really the outlier for me.  It's by far the most realistic of my books (even if it does have werewolves.)  The whole focus was to make it as believable as possible.

I don't usually worry about that.  My imagination runs toward the fantastic, and I think I should let myself go there.

Writing Interruptus.

One thing I've avoided since I started writing again is interrupting the first draft of a book.   I was always afraid I would forget how the book was supposed to proceed, lose the thread, as it were.

But only 30% of the way into Ghostlander, I came up on a time constraint that I couldn't ignore.  My editor(s) were done with Linda's book and it was time for them to look at one of my books, and I decided that The Dead Spend No Gold needed more seasoning and that I'd give them Faerylander instead.

Then, foolishly, I thought I could toss something off in a week or two, got 2/3rds of the way through and realized the book wasn't working, and sent the editors The Dead Spend No Gold after all.  (After reading it at writer's group I realized is was pretty good.)

Then I tussled with Faerylander for another week, and finally gave up.

As so often happens, giving up somehow gave me the key.  I had a couple of insights that made the book viable, and so I set out to put those in place.

It turned into a very intense rewriting session that resulted in a version of Faerylander that I am finally happy with...

So Ghostlander was abandoned about a month ago.

Now I have to go back and try to put myself in the same space I was in.

I guess I'll find out if that is possible...

Somethings Gotta Give

I finished Faerylander yesterday, and for the first time, I'm completely happy with it.

But it was a pretty intense few weeks getting it done, and I look up and see that I've neglected other things.

For some reason, I've gotten on the Fed's list of places to go for statistics.  I'm constantly having to fill out forms, or answer surveys.  I got some sort of census survey and stuck it in my pile, even though it was emblazoned with "required by law."

Hey, how important is it really?  I've got writing to do!

But apparently I got a call at the store the other day and have to call them back.  Oh, oh.

My beard has gotten long, unnoticed.  My mustache is interfering with my eating.

And oh, by the way, I've lost about 8 pounds simply by forgetting to eat.

I hired a landscaping service, that is going to be more costly than I thought, but at least that is out of my hair.

My bills have piled up, and no doubt most of them are overdue, probably dangerously overdue.

I dismantle the painting easel from the landing -- who am I kidding? 

The weather has been beautiful, and I've been stuck in dark room.  I haven't been to a movie or read a book in months.  We haven't been on one of our little vacation trips in a long time.

All because of writing.  Writing, that frankly, will probably never pay off monetarily.

I keep saying I want to moderate, but I don't seem to be able to be both moderate and a writer.

Being a writer is excessive, it's unhealthy, its silly.

But I like it.

In vino --procrastination.

Well, since I consider this last rewrite to be work, it's maybe not surprising that I did the procrastination thing big time yesterday.  Big time.  Found every excuse in the book not to get started.

Finally, around 9:00 PM,  I started reading, drinking wine as I went along.

Three things became apparent.

1.) It is work.
2.) Wine doesn't help.
3.) It is completely and utterly necessary.

Along with finding tick-tacky errors I found one lulu of a time discrepancy.  It was an easy fix, but it was the kind of thing that would totally throw a reader.

I only got about 40 pages of a 285 book in.   I had earlier read the last 6 chapters backward, so I decided that counts too.  So I've done about 80 pages of the book.

I just have to put my head down and keep going.

I read it out loud pretending that I was in a library standing in front of an audience. It helps to realize how it might sound to other people.

I have noticed one other problem.  On a regular basis there is a dramatic moment, but I don't play them up.  Now, I don't like melodrama, but I do think I might be missing some bets -- just a slower leadup, a bigger bang, and then a short aftermath would make those moments more effective.

Something I wouldn't have noticed before being finished and reading the narrative flow of it.

Much of the book flows very well, and there are a few slightly rougher spots.  But overall, the first part of the book is deeper and more textured and developed.  Hard to believe I could ever have thought the first versions of this book were ready for prime time.

The word flow is due to the book having been gone over so many times, I think.

I'm not going to be able to finish it today, I think.  Which pushes it to Friday or Saturday.  These deadlines are self-imposed but helpful to getting things done.  But I have to remember they are arbitrary.  A couple of extra days won't hurt, but an incompletely vetted book certainly would.

So another couple of days of reading out loud to myself, and it should be done.

Six packs from Hell -- Horror Covers

So as I check the horror best-selling lists on a regular basis, I start noticing certain motifs that run through cover after cover.

The Six Pack From Hell -- the body of sculptured male body, usually with the face out of the picture, most often in black and white. 

The Witchy Tree:  I noticed this especially because my cover to Deviltree is one of these.  The profile of a bare branched tree, in many shapes and sizes, but always with a kind of witchy feel.

The Biological Hazard Symbol.  This is on tons of books.

The Dark Haired Girl with the Witchy Eyes:  This is in various combination on tons of books.  The quintessential one is showing half of the face, with strangely intense eyes and always straight black hair.  There are no blondes in horror, apparently.

The Babe in Leather (brunette always) standing in front of something momentous, usually holding a weapon.

Guy in Full Military Gear, sometimes wearing a gas mask, standing in front of the apocalypse, either in ruins or a empty road.

The Waif:  A small girl, with big eyes, looking balefully at the viewer.


Other trends.  Bad Pun Titles.

Predominantly Black and red covers, with a little dayglow green and sickly yellow thrown in here and there.

But Hey, you have to figure these covers work.

It's just work now.

Here, at a very crucial stage of Faerylander, I'd just as soon quit working on it.

Because that's what it is now.  Work.  Like digging ditches. 

I just want to throw it into the hands of my editors and say, "Fix it."

All that remains to be done is that final crucial read thru and rewrite.  No, I don't want to do it.  But it must be done. 

Two days.  All I have to do is tie myself to my deskchair for two more days and ignore the siren calls of a spring day...or the faint whisper of any other temptation -- any temptation at all. 

Get to work on it.  Finish right.

Kinda stupid to spend three years off and on working on this damn thing and then not be willing to put in that last little bit of work that might make the whole endeavor worthwhile.

The all-important read-thru.

SUNDAY:

OK.  All the narrative pieces of Faerylander are in place -- I think.

So now all I want to do is go through the manuscript and clear away any inconsistencies.  I'm hoping not to slow down my reading in doing so. I probably should have a notebook at hand to make any bigger changes when I'm done reading.

Then, hopefully with the help of friends, I can shape it up for the last time.

I hadn't even intended to work on it today, but I knew that I needed to add a bit more transitional narrative here and there to smooth over the big cuts, and I wanted to get the timeline right.  So I did that.  I may or may not keep the time tags I put in there.

I think it's a complete book now.  It just needs to be finalized.


MONDAY:

I'm going to spend the next three days giving Faerylander a complete read-through.  I want to get a "reader" sense of the narrative.  I'm guessimating about 10 or 12 hours, in 3 sessions of 4 hours. 

I'd like to read it outloud, because that makes it easier to catch mistakes -- even better would be to have someone to read it to.  But I don't dare ask Linda who has already read it more than once.  Nor may I end up reading it all aloud -- it gets tiring after a while.  I may try read aloud for an hour, take some time off, come back and read for an hour.  I don't want the breaks to be too long, because like I said I need the sense of how it comes across to a reader.

 (A strange thing happens when you read aloud -- you might read it slightly differently, and the way you read it is almost always better than the way it was written, as if the brain is editing as you read without you being aware of it.)

I will make small changes -- in tense, names, etc. -- but nothing major.  Anything that takes more than a few moments,  I'll write a short note and come back later.

If I do this right, this should be a done book even without the editors.  My books are usually copy-edited well enough by myself to pass muster, though there are always a few things I miss.  The editors for me are really a matter of improvements and for adding the final luster.


LATER MONDAY:

I'm just going to have to assume that Faerylander is readable, because it really is pretty much a word-jumble to me.  But I have to trust in the original ideas and concepts, the original feelings, and also trust that all the "conscious" changes are an improvement.  

Whenever I've done this in the past, the readers seem to think the books are just as good as the books that haven't turned into a word-jumble, sometimes even better, which is reassuring.

I'm hoping I can find a strong author voice for this book in the final reading, and carry it through to the end.  

Doing it right in the first place.

Now that the final rough draft of Faerylander is done, the lessons are pretty clear. 

Avoid the fucking problems in the fucking first place.  I've finally got this book the way it should have been all along, if I'd known what I was doing at first.  It was ten times harder to get it into shape by not having thought it through.

I can't fault myself too much.  When I started this book 3 years ago, it had been 25 years since I'd been serious about writing.  No surprise that I went about it wrong. 

Wrong tone, wrong plot, wrong characters, wrong everything.

By the time I got to writing Death of an Immortal, I was fixing problems before they got out of control, foreseeing things that needed to be done.  But with Faerylander, I just started writing and wrote myself right into knots.

Anyway, I think I've fixed it.  So this is the structure I go with, no matter what.  No more moving around of scenes and chapters.

I'll never do this again.  Any book that requires this much rewriting to make it work will be abandoned.  I can just go on to the next book.

But Faerylander was worth saving, I thought.  (Not to mention doing something silly like writing a couple of sequels that only make sense if the first book exists. )

I still want to spend a week or so going through it and doing some polishing.  The book is little less than 100K words, so I managed to winnow about 30% of the length by cutting and consolidating, which is good.

The editors won't be ready for about six more weeks, so I can go back to writing Ghostlander. 

When they are ready for Faerylander, I'll give it one more go through and that's it.  One way or another, this book is done.

I think it's a good book, now.  Only one chapter still bothers me, and I have the six weeks to try to find a solution to it.

Tending my garden -- not.

I neglected my garden and lawns disgracefully last summer.  I was so deep into writing.  I was on such a roll.  That year -- September 2012 to September 2013 -- will probably never be reproduced.

Ever since I tried the agent and publisher route in September 2013 there has been a measure of distraction.  Even being published has been a distraction, if a nice one.

Anyway, I'm going ahead and hiring a landscaping service to at least mow the lawns and perhaps do a bit of the bulk weeding. 

My mother would be horrified.  Well, I always considered myself a gardener, but my garden hasn't quite turned out the way I envisioned it.  Either I didn't buy the right plants, or take care of them properly -- or the plants sucked -- but I'd say only half of them have survived so that garden looks kind of skimpy.  My lawns seem to be dying for no good reason.

In compensation, I've let the plants that are flourishing take up a larger percentage of the space and have started transplanting them.  So, I may have a garden comprised of Basket of Gold and poppies, but so be it.

But writing is still my main focus right now.  I told myself I would give myself five years to try to establish a career, and I'm about 20 months in on that process.  I have a bunch of books in the works, several of them near completion.

Problem with taking time off from writing -- is that it kind of gives me a reason not to write, which gives me time off from writing, and...well, you can see where that might lead.

Turns out, I have the perfect personality to be a writer.  I don't mind being alone, mostly confident of my own abilities, a self-starter, and able to discipline myself into accomplishing my task.

I'm not saying it makes me a great writer, but I think I have the right temperament for it. 
(Now if I had a self-promotional, extroverted, out-going, lots of friends and connections type personality, I might actually be able to sell my books.  But then...I wouldn't write them, eh?)

Anyway, waiting for the landscaper and feeling very bourgeois -- so middle class and middle age. 

What, I can't mow my own lawns? 

Beta readers are important.

As I finish up Faerylander, I asked my friend Paul Carrington, who was the only other person besides Linda to have read the previous version, for his thoughts.

He came into the store yesterday and talked to me about his impressions.

First of all, he really didn't have any trouble with the beginning half of the book it seemed -- which is where I was most concerned with it being clogged up or too slow to start.

He felt that the chapters in the last 40% of the book, just before the "action" chapters, didn't work.

As I've mentioned before, this has always been the problem spot for me, where I would lose faith in the story.  I think I've fixed that, by changing the motivations around.  Makes much more sense.

He also thought that the some of the scenes after the "action" chapters weren't necessary. The "running away" chapters as he put them.  I think I can fix that by cutting some of it.  Plus, at least a couple of the later chapters will no longer be necessary because of the new narrative.

I told him I wanted to get it down to around 100K words, so that the followup novels that are about 80K wouldn't look so weird, which Paul scoffed at.  "Lots of series has different sized books."

Probably a moot point, the book will be as big as it is.

In pursuant of that, I'm looking at any parts that are explicative, or asides.  It's hard to know sometimes if a scene is adding to characterization and/or atmosphere -- or isn't really necessary. A good rule of thumb might be that if the characterization and atmosphere aren't in the narrative itself, then adding it with extra isn't going to solve the problem.

But which are necessary and which aren't?

For instance, I told him I cut the bus scene with Parsons.

"Oh, no," Paul said.  "That was one of my favorite scenes -- that's where I really started to buy into the creature world you created."

So I'm putting it back in.

I'm still undecided about the Bestiary intro's to each chapter.  Some are very good and effective, but some are fill ins.  Paul thought they would work as a separate thing -- and I'd love to get sketches of each of the critters from some artist -- but I don't think that would happen unless the book is a huge success.   The entries explain a lot of material outside the narrative, which is helpful.  And really, the readers can pass over them if they want.  Just read the story.  I do that sometimes when I read a book with these types of things.

Anyway, it's really good to get outside opinions.  At this point, I'm not sure I completely trust my own judgement -- though I really have to trust my own judgement in the end.  But a little outside input doesn't hurt.

I'm really going to rely on my editor(s) this time, because it has become somewhat of a word-jumble for me.  I've been focusing on the "story" and trying to make the "writing" as good as I can, but I'm now at the stage where I can look at a paragraph and see five different ways to write it and not know which one is the best.  Argggh.

There is a "sense" of a book that I have -- the "feel" that it works or doesn't work -- and I think I'm almost there with Faerylander. 

My friend Dave Goodman has volunteered to read this version, and so has Paul again (a glutton for punishment).  I can't send it to my editor(s) for at least a month and a half because they are working on The Dead Spend No Gold right now.

So I'm going to finish this, give it to my Beta readers, and then come back to it in a month and finish up the version I send to the editors.

So you think it's easy?

I'm talking about bookstores today, instead of writing.

One of the most insightful writers out there about the Indy writer movement is Hugh Howey.  So I've been reading his blog.

Recently, he posted how he'd like to open a bookstore in the small town he lives in.

He then listed about 10 or 15 things he'd like to do; from the usual suspects of a coffee shop and readings, to things like a reading room, and classes to teach writing, and so on.

So I commented on perhaps he might want to get the bookstore running first, before adding all these other things.

Oops.  His obsequious followers (what's up with that?) came down on me -- one accusing me of being a "book snob" and the others saying not to stomp on their dream.

So I'm going to come at this argument from a different direction.

How many of you think running a bookstore is easy?
How many of you think running a bookstore is lucrative?

Let's start with the first question.  In some way, these dream-wish stores, promising the moon in extra services, are being dismissive of the basic work of running a bookstore.

If you want to do a GOOD job of running a bookstore, it is already a full time job just doing the basics.

To start with, assume that running a bookstore is a full-time job.  Just for starters, you'll be open at least 48 hours a week, and someone has to clerk those hours.  Assuming you're making enough money to pay for that clerk, you'll probably dealing with customers for most of those hours.
 
Which means ordering, stocking, researching, cleaning, record keeping, etc. etc. etc.  and on and on, and all the things it takes to run a bookstore will probably be outside those 48 hours.

So let's assume you are really really lucky and are making enough to have an employee help you.

But at first, you'll probably be doing most of it.  The majority of the clerking, as well as all the rest.  So lets assume, if you really just keep it to basics -- a 60 hour week.

I'm honestly not sure who is supposed to making the coffee and serving the food and all the rest.

Now -- think about adding all the extra services.  Figure out how you're going to pay for them.  And look ahead and ask yourself if you can continue to do it for 2 years, 5 years, 10 years.

Remember -- the 60 hours running the store, PLUS having the extra hours for signings, and the health inspections (cleaning!) and the broken machines and the occasional disastrous employee and the Great Recessions and...well, trust me, things will get complicated and hard even if you keep it to basics.

Everything you do has to paid for -- time and space are relativistic to the money spent.

If you manage to do everything you promise --and over-promising is the worst thing you can do -- then you are headed for burnout most likely.  Because once you've set up that model, you can't go back on it.  You're committed.  Not just now, but in 5 years, 10 years...etc.  It'll be exciting at first -- but years later it will be a job.

The second question -- how many of you a think a bookstore is lucrative? -- this really plays into all the above.  But in a small town -- say like Bend, or the town Hugh is opening in -- there is probably enough money for a Mom and Pop business -- maybe Mom and Pop and a part-time or -- if you are really lucky, two part-time employees.

Thing about a Mom and Pop business is -- they are a Mom and Pop business because that's all the money you're likely to make.  Paying the employees probably brings down your income to a lower level than you are going to like.

Again, project into the future, and realize that amount of money may never significantly change  (unless you think bookstores are more likely to be more lucrative in the future, instead of less...)

I guess I'm saying "Why do you think this isn't already a full time job?"

If it was lucrative or easy, both Hugh Howey's and Bend would have an Indy bookstore, but we don't...

I believe it is still possible for Bend to have an independent bookstore, if it is centrally located, does a good job on stocking books, and all the other basics of running a bookstore.

Then, when you've done all that, you can decide what else you want to add to your 60 hour less than high paying week...

Our basic mantra when we opened the Bookmark was "Keep it Simple."  And that has worked.  Even with just carrying used books and nothing else, Linda can feel overwhelmed by the process at times...

I believe that the reason I'm still in business 30 years later is because I've winnowed it down to basics.  Doing the basic job of doing my job at modest pay and avoiding burnout.

Oh, and Hugh Howey?  You can probably forget about being a full-time writer...

That was intense.

Another very long, very exhausting session of rewriting.

As the weather got nicer and nicer over the last two days outside, I was retreating further and further into the rabbit hole of my mind.

It was almost zen-like.  I went to bed completely drained,

Fucking Faerylander.

It was necessary I think to see if the narrative worked as a reader might experience it, and the only way to do that was to try to get through the whole book, beginning to end, in a couple of sessions.  Making the book flow the way it needed to flow.

I got about 3/4ths of the way through.  Enough to get a pretty strong sense of it, and I think it works.

I will finish on Friday.  There is one more chapter that needs extensive rewriting, but the rest is fine.  This is the point in the book I've mentioned before where all the flaws accumulate and I throw up my hands.

This time, I get there and went.  "It's good."  It feels like a complete book.  Not flawless, but it holds up.

I'll have to go over it one more time, when I've let some time pass.

But the basic structure is there.

That's it.  I will never reorganize this book again.  This is the version I go with.  All words, sentence and paragraphs are fair game, but I'm not moving scenes or chapters. 

Again, I have to trust that if the narrative works for me, it will work for the reader.

Not bad, if I do say so myself.

So after struggling with Faerylander for a couple of weeks, I read Chapters 6 & 7 of The Dead Spend No Gold at writers group last night, which I hadn't looked at for a month.

How refreshing.  It felt nice -- it felt, if I may say so myself -- very professional.  Even the critiques were right in line with making the story complete; a couple of different starting points, and a clearing up of POV.  Simple fixes.

I do believe I've gotten considerably more proficient in my writing.  Not the struggle that Faerylander has been.  (As I say, I must really LOVE Faerylander to keep at it.)

Meanwhile, I'm about 30% through the current rewrite of Faerylander.  It's a straightforward narrative, which actually feels kind of strange.  But all the pieces are falling into place.

I think I was trying to cheat in earlier versions, because I knew the story was dense, so I was trying to put "tease" chapters earlier in the story.  But I have to trust in the narrative; and that the reader will stay with it.

We'll see when I get about 2/3rds in -- that's when all the flaws seem to accumulate.

This time, instead of just moving scenes around from different versions to get a rough draft, I'm trying to get each chapter "right" before I move onto the next.

I figure a couple more weeks and I'll have a nice workable draft to send to the editors, and then I can get back to writing Ghostlander again.

Taking out the comic relief.

One of the (many) things I've been struggling with in Faerylander is the tone.

Originally, the whole book was supposed to be kind of snarky, a Faery creature's guide to Mortal Realms.  But I decided that I personally don't enjoy these kinds of books -- I like my fantasy and S.F. to be serious, mostly.  Nor did I feel that I had the talent to carry that tone all the way through a book.

It also doesn't create much of plot.  That is, you have to care about the characters if you want the plot to work, and having a bunch of humorous asides just doesn't do that in my opinion.

As I tried to make the plot more consequential, the stakes got higher and the tone definitely shifted.

Ultimately, a snarky book just wasn't the kind of book I wanted to write or read.

Still, it retained some light-hearted moments, especially with Parsons, the sidekick, who was the comic relief.

But if I've just spent five chapters trying to establish the seriousness of the Cthuhlu invasion, throwing in a light chapter really is off-putting.   If I've had icky human sacrifices and fights for survival, having a joke just feels out of place.

Then along comes a scene where Parsons plays a practical joke on Cobb and it just rings wrong to me.

In a final draft, that's where you really establish the "voice" of the book, and it needs to be engaging.  By changing tone like that, I think I risk loosing the flow, the voice of the main character.

I know that people will always come down on the side of light-hearted moments; I think that is a natural tendency.  And there are some interesting and nice moments -- but I'm making the creative decision that these passages let up on the pressure, take away from the forward momentum, and the forward momentum is that I'm trying to instill.

The Famous Author Flashbacks are a little lighter in tone, and they also go more or less sideways, but I'm going to retain those.  The rest of the plot is all about keeping the story going.

The Earle Stanley Gardner version.

Told my new plot elements of Faerylander to Linda and she got excited.  "That works so much better!" she said.

"I thought you liked it before."

"I did, but I can see how this is much better."

"The Earle Stanley Gardner version..."

"Exactly."

I once read a book by Earle Stanley Gardner (Perry Mason) where he showed the genesis through final version of a short story.  Each version was good.  The first was pretty good, the second was better, and the third -- wow.

He just kept going back until he got it, that final twist that really made it zing.

I've always used that as my example of why rewriting is so important.

Faerylander was written before I relearned -- or remembered -- how a book is written.  It was a necessary step to getting there.

But it was a mess.

Each time I've tackled it, I've made it better.  Each time I'd think "I've got it!"

And then, somewhere near the end, I would realize that I don't "got it."

So let's just say for now, this newer version will be better.

But I'm not sure I'm there yet.

I must really like this book, because it's way past its Nine Lives.

Wishy-washy.

I had a friend in high school who thought I was the most wishy-washy person he knew.  I never thought I was, really.  I preferred to believe I was flexible.

But, you know, I can see his point.

Then again, maybe not...

Well, maybe...

After throwing up my hands on Faerylander yesterday -- for the last time!  I decided that I'd throw together my Gumbo version -- that is, everything I've ever written.

And I started to see glimmers of what I could do, if I was willing to radically restructure and write some new scenes.

There is a plot element that I dropped early on, almost inadvertently, that I now see is crucial to making the rest of the plot work.

And I figured out a way to fix the weakest part of the book -- that part, incidentally, where I gave up yesterday.

Basically, it's a motivational shift.  I had the Hero trying to convince the mortals to help him fight the Cthuhlu, but it works much better if they come to him and ask him for help.  Suddenly, it makes sense.

So what I'm going to do, instead of going off half-cocked as I tend to do when I get new ideas, is draw up a very detailed, scene by scene plot outline, making it as linear and forward leaning as possible.  If I can come up with something over the next two days that I think works, I'll give it one more try.

Then I'll go ahead and write a lean and mean version of that book.

One thing I'm going to do is simply leave out the "famous writers flashbacks" for now, because they just sort of obscure the linear nature of the plot.  I can put them in when I'm all finished.

So, here we go again.

 P.S.  I told my new plot elements to Linda and she got excited and said, "That really makes it work so much better!"

Giving up on Faerylander again.

I've just spent 10 days trying to "fix" Faerylander, to make it a "serious" book.

I don't think it can be done.

Faerylander is a big, sprawling, messy, silly gumbo of a book.  It can't be distilled down into its essence.  I think it probably works better as a giant conglomeration of good and bad scenes, believable and unbelievable motivations, serious and silly tones -- all just thrown together.

I've improved so many elements of it!  I mean, so much of it works!  So much of it is interesting and fun!  But...fundamentally, it is flawed and I'm not sure the problems can be resolved.  They can only be displayed proudly. 

So many of the messy, flawed parts have become real to me.  I can't change them or toss them out.  This book is really my magnum opus, as far as world construction goes.  But world construction is not the same thing as good efficient story-telling.

Each time I've tried to fix it, I've just added another layer and made it more complicated.

I'm tempted to just mash everything together and say -- This is it.  Here's my big shaggy sloppy dog.

I mean, it's wildly imaginative.

But as a story that the reader can believe is real, despite the unreal elements -- it doesn't work.  Faerylander requires that someone go -- "This is silly, but kind of fun.  It's meandering, but the ideas are interesting.  It's got a lot of characters, but I like them."

All put together, it is approaching 160K words, twice the size of any of my other books.

So I like this story -- but I'm not sure anyone else will.  (Actually, the people who have read it seem to like it, mostly.  It's that last little "mostly" that worries me.)

Here's the thing.

Faerylander doesn't fit with what I've done with Led to the Slaughter and the Dead Spend No Gold.

It doesn't fit with the Vampire Evolution Trilogy.

Unfortunately, it doesn't even fit with the sequels I've written or am writing, Wolflander and Ghostlander.  

In comparison these novels are well-constructed, straightforward stories, that despite the supernatural elements are believable enough for the reader to buy into.  Manageable and internally consistent themes and characters.  Well-rounded stories, I hope.

These are neat tidy 80K books. 

What I'm saying, I guess, is that I don't think it would be a good career move to put Faerylander out right now.  Maybe I'm taking myself too seriously, but really -- I don't want to put something out that will change what I've tried to establish, how I'm being perceived.

So what do I do with my Frankenstein Book?

I'm thinking I should put it out sometime when I'm well-established, and let the chips fall where they may.  

Just offer it to the world.  Here it is -- I hope you're in the mood for some wild imagination.

Or, I can just put this out under another name, so that the Duncan McGeary brand stays what it is -- and the new book is just something some other guy put out.   I'm really tempted to do this -- and also put my Deviltree trilogy out under a different name.  (This has some good writing in it, but again because it was written 30 years ago has a different tone and style.)

But for now, I'm just going to set Faerylander aside again, and hope that in the future I can find something that will make it all work.  Keep building on it, like it is my own private little world.  Make it something that I just do for myself and then someday throw out there and see if anyone else likes it.

The Dead Spend No Gold is going to be a fine book.  It's time I go back to it.

And finish Ghostlander, which I'm also liking, even though it is a sequel to an unworkable book...heh.

I have faith that it will all work out, eventually.

The Closer You Get -- the Closer You Get.

I've noticed before, that the closer you get to the end of a book, the more the pieces fall into place.  It's one of the ways you know you're finishing up.  All the random elements you've been struggling with are in place, and now you can clean up around the edges, which strengthens the book.

In fact, I think maybe that last bit of tightening and focusing is what makes a book work.

I really felt that way with Led to the Slaughter: The Donner Party Werewolves.  (Books of the Dead Press.)  I finally got the book to where I didn't feel like I needed to add anything or subtract anything.  It was complete.

I'm in that process with my current book, Faerylander, now.

That's why it is so important to have an editor, I think.  An editor cleans up a lot of the crap so that you can see the story a little more clearly.  Sometimes you can lop off scenes, or add that little bit more.

For instance, I have a description of the "Great Library" late in the book that isn't necessary.  However my first description of the scene really wasn't adequate, so I take the latter scene and include it with the early scene and it works much better.

Another example:  I've cut a chapter where the main characters are sitting in a diner talking things over.  I have the Hero describing his Sidekick to the Sidekick's Object of Affection.

But I have an early chapter where the Object of Affection is asking the Hero about the Sidekick, so when I move the whole interaction here, it works.

These last minute adjustments are huge.  And they can really only be done at the last minute, when you have the narrative firmly in place and can see it for what it is.

It's that last bit of effort that makes it a polished novel.