The Doubts Creep Back.

Maybe you can't work on something as long as I've worked on Faerylander without the doubts creeping back.

I feel as though I've -- mostly -- solved the beginning problems, though the fifth chapter (which used to be the first chapter, and then was the second chapter, and then the third chapter...eh) will probably always have the problem of too much exposition and not enough motion.  But I've got the story well underway now before I hit that chapter, and I've streamlined it so much that I think it works OK.

I'm fine with the book until I get toward the middle, and then it does seem like a whole lot of character chapters, again without much forward movement.  I'm going to ask my editors to CUT, CUT, CUT anything they don't think is necessary here.

The book is still over 100K words, and as far as I'm concerned, 20K words could be cut and it wouldn't hurt my feelings.  I'm just not sure how to do it.

I am currently focused on streamlining the book.  If the book has problems, the more I can whittle them down, the more I can focus on pushing the story, the better.

And I'm fine with the last part of the book, once the plot really sets in.  It was a little silly for awhile, but I think I've flushed that out.  It is pretty straightforward action.  I don't know if the emotional catharsis is enough at the end, and that is a HUGE problem, but I've done my best to set up the characters so that the reader cares.  The book was mostly missing that in the early versions.

I think the writing is good on some chapters, but a little stilted on others -- I hadn't quite relaxed into a style yet with this first book.

And then there is the problem of changing it from 3rd person to 1st person.  I have a whole lotta "I's."

As Bren has suggested, I'm trying to rewrite some of these sentences by changing the subject from "I."

So what do I have here?  Does this book work?

I don't know.  I have decided that the difference between a good book and a bad book may not be as wide as you might assume.  That is, a bad book can become a good book with a few changes.  So I'm glad I've kept trying to fix this.

But never, ever again will I do this. 

And as I say, if you want to be a writer, you have no choice but to write through the doubts.

Encouraged to keep going.

I'm amazed by how many people are willing to flat out buy my book when I show it to them.  Not knowing who I am.

Almost every day I work at Pegasus Books, I sell 2 or 3 copies, so if I worked more days, I'd probably sell a whole lot more.  In my store especially, I get so many out-of-towners in that there is a constant supply of new customers.

I get a kick out of the reaction people have to the book when they are walking by on the sidewalk and see it in the window.  It's a positive reaction without them knowing the writer is lurking inside.  Same thing with people picking up the book curiously in the store.  So the "Donner Party Werewolves" and the cover seem to work on their own.

My Vampire Evolution series is going to the press right now, so I should have those books in stock in a couple of weeks.

By the way, I don't have a review of Blood of Gold up yet, and only one of Rule of Vampire.  I think the trilogy got progressively better, but I've got to get people to read that far!

Anyway, I do feel like I'm starting to get unfiltered feedback -- that is, volunteered opinions from people I don't know.  People coming in the store just to tell me that they really enjoyed the book.  And it has been all positive.  I can tell they mean it, which is a big relief, you know?

I have to say, one unsolicited glowing review is worth a hundred sales, as far as motivation goes.

If I sell a few more books on Amazon, I will have reached my original -- admittedly modest -- goal.

I've sold about the same number in my store.

I'm guessing I've sold about the same number in all the other venues, but I'm not sure -- by how far up the 'best-seller' lists I am on Smashwords, it could be much more.  But I've been told Smashwords doesn't move as many units, so it could be much less.

But I think a guess of equal to the Amazon totals isn't probably far off. 

There is still some time to sell more, so I'm pretty satisfied with it.

I hope my publisher is too.

Other than what I've hand-sold myself, I really don't know the real numbers because that is proprietary to the publisher.   He'll report to me eventually, though I'm not expecting anything for a few more months.

Anyway, it's enough of a success -- in my eyes -- that I feel encouraged to keep going.



Concentration

I don't think I've ever concentrated so intensely on one thing for so long in all my life.  14 hours yesterday, barely getting up from the desk.

And this has been going on for several days.

I've lost 8 pounds, because I've forgotten to eat.  I fall into bed late at night and I'm out like a light.

Working at the store today is going to be a vacation.  (Even here, I find myself making notes -- but I purposely left the writing laptop at home.)

My prodigal book is killing me.

I hate humble-brags about how hard a person works -- but this is the real deal.

This is the last rewrite of Faerylander, for good or ill.  I just can't do it anymore.  Thing is, since I know it is going to be the last, I'm being very diligent in making sure all the pieces are right.  This is it on the structure.  I will be doing a lot of editing, yet.  Especially since I'm changing the main character from 3rd person to 1st person but I am done rearranging the narrative or chapters.

The reason it takes so much concentration is that I have to keep all the storylines in my head -- multiple storylines, actually, since I have so many versions. Notes don't really help -- the notes would have to be as extensive as the story. 

The new chapter that inspired the rewrite has helped -- but the rest of the book is what it is.  Fortunately, I had done much of the continuity work on the version before last, so by reverting to it, I've saved myself a lot of work.  I've also been incorporating Linda's corrections as I go along.

It's going to be about 100K words, in-between my normal 80K for my other books and the 135K this book was in the last version.  (If I incorporated everything I've written, it would be over 150K.)

I'm going to order my editors to cut everything and anything that is unnecessary or doesn't work or slows down the story.  Give them permission to use the knife.

I'm undecided about included Cobb's Bestiary.  I like the entries, but they kind of clutter things up.  I probably will, though.

I can't tell if it is any good.  But if hard work will make it so...

Just waiting to be found.

Apparently, this new chapter was just waiting to be discovered by me.

It's been three years since I started Faerylander (which started off as Nearly Human).  Each time I finished a draft, I thought it was better but still missing something.  I would go on to other things.  I started to learn that I could write a book that didn't have so many intrinsic problems -- but I wasn't willing to give up on this book.

I think what it was missing was this chapter I've just written which ties everything together, gets the story started, makes stronger connections between characters and behavior.

Not to get all mystical, but it was like my subconscious was telling me I wasn't done.  Now it is finally giving me the go-ahead, contingent on a nice clean edit.

This rewrite isn't going to take as long as I thought.  The new material plugged right into the version of the book I wrote before the last one.  I was always been kind of 50/50 on the two versions, and this sort of decides it.
This version is more streamlined, with some chapters cut out of the middle, and/or combined.  It has a more serious, no-nonsense tone. 
The main change is that I am turning all the Cobb chapters to first person, and since these are about 65% of the book, that is a real chore.  That is the thing that will probably need the most editing.  It seems like no matter how many times I go over it, I still find the occasional "he" instead of "I": "him" instead of "me."

My sense of this book -- which is muddy, I'm really having a hard time getting a gauge on it -- is that it denser than my other books, and more complicated.

I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

But I do know -- or hope -- is that with this version I finally have a book that is really worth reading.

The Prodigal Novel.

You know what?  I take back my previous blog entry (which I wrote before bed last night.)

Faerylander isn't my Book from Hell, it's my Prodigal Book.  Always a problem, but I dearly love it and wish for it to do well.

I couldn't make Bren's suggestion of an assassination attempt on the main character work, but in thinking about it, I suddenly had a brainstorm.  (I was up until 5:00 this morning thinking about it.)

I think I've come up with a solution that fixes the problem and ties the book together.  It makes the plot coherent, it deepens the characters, and it just seems to be the answer I've been looking for.

But it also means a top to bottom rewrite -- again.

If the solution wasn't so beautifully elegant --- didn't seem like it totally clicks -- I wouldn't do it.  I'd try to scrape by with the current version.  But this is what I've been looking for, the final piece.

Thing is, I knew it was missing something, but I just couldn't figure out what.

This new chapter is what I think it needed.  I say the entire book needs a rewrite, but its mostly in a few details here and there.  What makes me think this is the right solution is that it doesn't require a massive restructuring, but instead strengthens what I've already written.

I have a version that I wrote just before the last one where the new material especially works well (I was always a little 50/50 about which version was best, and now I know.)

So I'm dropping everything else (Ghostlander...) and embarking on another rewrite that will probably take a few weeks.  But I think it will be worth it.

What's more, I'm excited by it, and that is a pretty good indication that I've arrived at the right solution.  It just FEELS right.

Shit.

Another rewrite.

This is now the champion rewrite book.   Star Axe took longer to complete but there was a lot of off and on.  Deviltree was rewritten many times but never had several complete re-hauls like this book has had.

I'll never let myself get tied up like this again.

This may end up being my best book, but I'm not sure it was worth the cost.

But I'm bringing my Prodigal Novel home...

The Novel from Hell.

So I basically hired someone to give Faerylander a clean read -- and sure enough, she finds the problems that I knew in my heart of hearts that the novel still had.

Damn, Damn, Damn.

I think I might be able to fix it -- yet again.  She suggested that I can introduce the danger by having the main character suffer an assassination attempt.

So I'm going to write a whole new chapter.  A whole fucking new chapter, and try to insert it.  It would be chapter 3, I guess.

I'm not sure if it is possible, but I'll give a whirl.

If THAT doesn't fix it, I done.  Finished.  Screw the whole thing.

No, I can't do that.  There is a good book here, I'm convinced.  I just need to keep working on it until it works.

In-between all the books that work without so much work.

Double Duty Writing.

I mentioned awhile back that I wanted to write original material during the early day and work on rewriting in the latter part of the day.

I couldn't do it.  I can just do one thing at a time, I guess.  Either write a first draft, or do rewriting, but not both.

Anyway, for the next three days I have no choice.  I've arranged for Lara to take a look at the final draft of Faerylander on the 10th of May.  But Linda has already gone through it, and pointed out a bunch of inconsistencies that I'd like to fix first.  And Bren has gone through the beginning chapters and pretty much convinced me I need to completely rework the first two chapters -- again for the umpteenth time.

So I have to spend the next three nights totally focused on Faerylander.  I have no choice if I'm going to slot this into Lara's available time.  With all my backlog I can't afford to let any time pass without something for her to work on.

This is the final draft of Faerylander, no matter what.  (Perhaps a final clean edit after this.)  I just can't keep working on Faerylander forever.  I've got to pick a moment when I think it's finished.

I'm almost there, and if I can fix the first two chapters and the inconsistencies, I think the book is about as good as I can make it.

The Ambitious Plot.

I'm 22 thousand words into Ghostlander.  It was time to really start thinking about the plot.

Up to now I've introduced the characters and the hauntings -- which I was going to have to do no matter what plot I came up with.

So I started thinking about solutions last night, and Oh, Boy.

I've gone from almost no plot to a very complicated and ambitious plot.  One that is going to require some tricky themes and emotions.  Some depth.

It may be beyond my abilities to pull off, but I've written enough books by now that I think I should probably try to stretch myself.  Even more, I should put the trust in my subconscious to bring it all home.

One thing is for sure -- it isn't being written by any "formula."  It may turn out to be a mess.

But what's the point of writing if you don't follow your muse?  The chances of success are so minimal anyway, I might as well do what I want to do.  I've tried to learn the basics of writing.  I've got a lot of words under my belt.  So I think I can venture away from the beaten path a little.  See where it leads.

The Writing Day.

I often mention that I may only spend a few hours actually writing.

But that's not the true story.  The true story is a put in a full day preparing myself for a few hours of actual writing.

I'm sure other writers do it differently.  I'm sure other writers will say hogwash to this entire setup.

But this is how I do it.

I more or less start at 11:00.  I know that sounds late, but it's when I started work at the store for more than 20 years and I think that is when my brain is actually willing to engage.  Up to then, I'll shower and drink coffee and read the paper and peruse the internet.

So at 11:00 I start.  What follows looks a lot like procrastination.  But I call it priming the pump, filling the well, preparing my brain and my spirit for writing.  This might take an hour or two.  I may lay down and close my eyes (and try not to fall asleep) or I may walk around or I may talk to myself.  But I'm trying to visualize what I want to accomplish in this writing session.

I basically come to the very edge of writing but don't actually write. 

At some point in the these two hours, either early or late, I'll hit a trigger phrase or image and I'll start writing.  I always can feel when it is time.

Then I'll just write.  That part I can't explain.

After awhile, usually an hour or two, I'll run out of steam.  I most often won't have reached my 2000 word goal.

I then walk away from the writing, but try not to do anything too worthwhile.  Again, this looks a lot like procrastination, but it is just daydreaming.  Often in the daydreaming period, (either the early one or this one) nothing really comes to mind but as long as I'm in the fictional dream, I'm trusting that my subconscious is working on it.

The subconscious is the magic.  I don't control it.  My whole job is to nurture it, keep it fed, protect and shelter it.

I may play solitaire, or nap, or walk around, or play with the cat, or any number of meaningless, brainless activities.

Then I'll prepare myself to write again, much like in the morning.  Again, usually I get a trigger phrase or image and start writing.

Most often, I finish up.

Sometimes I can't quite get there, so I just stick around and stick around, and sometimes the day goes into night before the 2000 words are done.

But more often, I'll finish at around 4:00 or 5:00.  But even then I'm not done.  I try to stay in the fictional dream for a couple more hours.  I'm not sure what is happening during this period.  Sometimes I have very specific ideas about what I want to do the next day, but most often not.  I don't know why this cooling off period is necessary, but it is.  I think the subconscious is absorbing what I did and mulling over where to go next.

That's it.  Then I'm done.  An 8 hour day or more, in which I may have only written for 2 or 3 hours.  But it was all necessary.

Even outside these 8 hours, I usually want to keep activities at a low-key, rout sort of mode.  Nothing upsetting or two exciting.  Even when I'm not writing, I'm trying to keep the fictional dream going.  This is where the self-isolation really becomes noticeable.  If I could just do the 8 hours of work and then live my life like normal people, it wouldn't be such a problem.

But I spend most of my day, conscious or asleep, nurturing the fictional dream. 

Keeping that warm glow going...

And that's my writing day.


Another summer writing indoors?

Am I willing to spend another summer indoors?

I already feel like an invalid or a recluse or something.

It will be the second summer of letting the garden go all to hell and getting all white and pasty looking.  I started the writing binge in September of 2012.  Last summer seemed particularly hot, and so spending time inside with the air-conditioner seemed OK.

I write best on my back, either in my dark office or in my bedroom.  Even better with the white noise of a fan or a cooler.  Even better with a soda and some chips or cookies. 

And now I'm looking at doing again.

I keep saying -- this writing isn't the most mentally or physically healthy thing I could be doing.  At least the way I do it.  I don't think I can do it any other way.  Either I'm totally absorbed...or I'm doing something else.

There may be no help for it. Summer will come around every year, but this inclination, this ability to produce words -- that isn't so certain.  It isn't certain at all.

There are a million things that could end this writing streak.  Illness, emergency, business or employee problems and on and on.  (Knock wood...twice.)

So this writing streak is so precious, so unusual, that I think I have to pay the price to keep it going.  I mean, what's more likely -- that being a writing hermit will hurt me, or that the the writing streak will come to an end?  To me, the latter is much more likely, so the former is worth risking.

So I think I'll probably do again -- with an attempt to get outside more than last year.  But I'd planned to get outside today, and by 6:00 I still had about 10% of my writing to do.

So the writing continues, at least until I've fulfilled the plans I've made for myself. 

Monster Porn. Really Barnes and Noble?

I can find my books on most lists for Amazon and Smashwords, but they must be far down the list on B & N.

Instead, you can find "Cum for Bigfoot."

So apparently my books are lacking a certain something for B & N.  I can't put my finger on it.

Eww... actually, I'd rather not put my finger on it.

Congratulations to both Amazon and Smashwords for not letting monster porn overwhelm their horror lists.

Oh, I'm sure it sells well.  Obviously. 

But give it a separate category, at least. 

Sheesh.

I found the key.

I think I found the key to Ghostlander.

I'd been trying to find it for weeks, and finally last week decided I had to get to writing and that I'd just have to hope I'd stumble across it later.

Today, I think I did.  I'm 18K words in.

Most often this happens by asking myself questions.

For instance, this time, the problem was:   I have a ghost story which involves the Pilot Butte Inn and a bunch of missing guests.  But how do I bring Faery into it?

As soon as I figured that out, I realized that I had all the pieces to make a plot work.

That moment when I know it is going to be a book.

Free Comic Book Day at Pegasus Books.

Better to come early, because we've managed to give away most of the comics over the last few events.

These comics are created for this event, they aren't just extras.  They are weighted toward kids, which is interesting.  I don't know if it works, but it's a worthy try.

We're letting people take 3 comics each, their choice.  Hopefully you'll see something else you like while you're there.

Come on in! 

You gotta have heart.

I've mentioned before that I started off on the wrong foot with Faerylander.  I was more concerned about ideas and plot than I was in telling a story with heart.

A story has to have heart.  The reader has to care about some of the characters, there has to be some kind of cathartic resolution.

Which comes back to storytelling.

So while the mechanics of plot and grammar and ideas and all that are important -- they are the tools -- they are not the end goal.  I think you can have a really good story where the plot and the writing is messy.  I think you can have an incredibly boring stale story where the plot and the writing are precise.  I'll take the former any day of the week.

After much rewriting, I've managed to put the heart back into Faerylander, but it was a tough thing to do.  Much easier to include it from the beginning.

I'm proud of both Led to the Slaughter and The Vampire Evolution Trilogy in that the focus was on the people and their relationships.

The current book, Ghostlander, needed some plot elements, and I was 50 pages in before it all came together.  I've hinted at the 'human heart' elements, but I really need them to become the central focus from here on as well as going back over the first 50 pages beefing that up.

It's possible to write a book of "ideas" or "action" or "fast plot" or whatever.  But fundamentally you need someone to care about, someone to identify with.

Even the anti-hero needs to be someone you can root for.  (I saw a foreign film last night, "On The Job" where the main character by any objective standard is a complete monster -- but he is also the most sympathetic character in the film.  Great film by the way.)

When I started Faerylander, most of the young people I talked to seemed intrigued by ideas -- they wanted a unique twist, or something really different and original, and by all means all that is important.  But at the core of the story there has to be heart, caring about what happens to the characters.


It works as a trilogy.

I like my Vampire Evolution Trilogy quite a bit -- especially as a trilogy.  A complete and satisfying story arc.

For the longest time, I kept writing single novels.   Even Snowcastles and Icetowers were originally one story. 

I don't know that it ever occurred to me to write continuing adventures.  I suppose I had some concept that you continued that which was successful, and so you kept writing that first book until one of them hit it big.

But I think when I gave up on concept of "hitting it big" and just started writing what I wanted to write that I was freed to keep writing about the same characters and scenarios and settings.

It allows me a chance to deepen the relationships, to more fully flesh out the world.  I can stretch my storytelling, expand and develop.

In other words, it's very enjoyable.

Not to mention easier.  (Not having to create all of it from whole cloth.)

And finally, I think, more effective as a story.

So I'm kind of hooked on the concept now.  I'm so prolific I've got several ongoing series going, some of which the first book hasn't even been published! 

Doesn't matter.  What matters is the writing.

Just a reminder to everyone.  The whole trilogy is really cheap right now.  Only 99 cents each on Amazon, B&N, Smashwords and Apple.  If a few of you buy it, it will really help on the "lists."  So -- just a matter of taking the time.

Please do.

Duncan

A good review in Cascades A&E.

There is a nice review of Led to the Slaughter in Cascades A&E by Jeff Spry, who I think is a good writer. 

Here's the best link http://issuu.com/renee.patrick/docs/may_ae_cover I could come up with:  You have to kind of negotiate the digital mess to find the article, but it's there.

I know that I probably should have confidence in my own writing, but how do I know?

I was sort of waiting for feedback from complete strangers, like on Goodreads and such.  So far, they've been very good, so I feel like I have more leeway to recommend my own book.

I sell least a couple at my store everyday I work.  Which is a real Catch-22.  You know, stay at the store and sell hundreds over the course of a year -- or stay home and write my books.  I figure this time of being able to write freely may not last forever, so I'm choosing to do that.  It was never really about the money, frankly.  But I did hope for readers.


Vampire Evolution Trilogy is Live. Please buy.

They go on sale today.

Looks like the publisher kept them at 99 cents for now.

They're also available on Amazon for the first time.

So I'm asking -- make sure that your pre-order actually happened.  You may have to click the "Buy" button.

And for anyone who read Led to the Slaughter and liked it, I'm hoping you'll give my Vampire books a try.

Doesn't look like they popped up on any lists so far, so I'd like to change that, at least a little.

Anyway, the whole trilogy is out there:

Death of an Immortal:    http://www.amazon.com/Death-Immortal-Vampire-Evolution-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00K1XI0QM/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1398961456&sr=1-1&keywords=death+of+an+immortal


Rule of Vampire:   http://www.amazon.com/Rule-Vampire-Evolution-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00K1XQY9M/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1398961609&sr=1-1&keywords=rule+of+vampire


Blood of Gold:   http://www.amazon.com/Blood-Gold-Vampire-Evolution-Trilogy-ebook/dp/B00K1XRF72/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1398961704&sr=1-1&keywords=blood+of+gold






Anticipation.

The Vampire Evolution Trilogy is supposed to be released tomorrow.

Death of an Immortal.
Rule of Vampire.
Blood of Gold.

I hope it goes smoothly.

The pre-sale (still have a few hours! Only 99 cents!) was on B & N; Smashwords; and Apple.

I'm hoping the books will pop up on Amazon tomorrow.  

I have no idea what to expect.  I've taken a more restrained approach to asking people to buy my book this time.  No contacting people directly.  Just posting the occasional bulletin on the social sites.

I want to buy a bunch of paperback copies for the store, but I haven't heard from the publisher.  The paperbacks of Led to the Slaughter didn't reach me until about 3 weeks after the ebook version was up.

Led to the Slaughter seems to sell at the same pace, day after day.  Not setting the world on fire, but not completely dropping off the lists either.  I won't really know for months.

It's strange -- you can be in the top 1% to 5% of all books sold -- and it still doesn't mean much, since by my calculations, there are over 2000 books a day being published, and millions in print.

I had a minimum sales level in mind when I started, and we exceeded that early on.  Far beyond what I was able to accomplish on my own, so having a publisher proved its worth.

So I'm happy.

It's encouraging enough to keep trying.


Oh, Faerylander! My problem book.

Oh, Faerylander!  I love you and I hate you.

There are so many admirable qualities about you, amidst the drek.  I started you with the wrong tone.  I went sideways for most of the story.  Slowly but surely, I changed the tone, and added forward momentum.  But the drek is sticky, and hard to take out, and there is still a lot of sideways movement.

What is needed?  What isn't?  I can't tell anymore.

Linda read through the last version and found a ton of inconsistencies -- "You need to draw a timeline and a map," she says.

But the problem is that I had two versions that were fundamentally different -- but each more or less consistent on their own, and I tried to combine the two.

My friend Bren has read the first two chapters, and she has plucked the doubts from my brain and pointed them out.  Yep, she's right.  I was hoping no one would notice.  I don't think that's a good way to approach a book -- hoping no one will notice the secret doubts.

So now, even though I've gotten everyone started on the latest draft, I'm thinking of reverting back to the draft just before that, which is about 25K shorter.

I'm also thinking that instead of trying to fix the second chapter -- which has always been the problem chapter -- I should just try to write it from scratch.  I'm not sure I can do that.  I have that chapter so deeply ingrained.

I will never, never, never do this again with a book.  What the Hell.  I could've written half a dozen books in the time I've spent on this.   I mean, in some ways it was unavoidable -- it was my "learning" book if you will, my "practice" book.

So one more attempt to get it right...then I just go with it.  I've written one sequel already and I'm 20% into another sequel, so I have to put it out.  Otherwise I'd just give up.