The book demands what the book demands.

Whenever I first start writing, I am always aware of other writers and how I compare.  I'm even more aware of how other people are going to like or dislike my book.

But when I really get going, I simply forget about these factors.  It isn't that they don't matter -- obviously they do -- but they simply aren't salient to the process.

Writing for me is writing -- I'm not choosing quality, or subject, or any of those things.  It all gets focused down to what I'm doing, and doing it the best I can, and everything else sort of recedes into the background.  I don't care if someone else is better or worse, or if people are going like the end result, because I'm trying to write this the best I can to my own satisfaction.

The deeper I get into a book, the less it matters what anyone else might think.

When I'm done, I can poke my head out and ask -- well, did this work?  Will anyone care?

But while I'm writing it, it's such an internal process that it isn't that I force these concerns out -- they simply disappear.  The book itself seems to demand what it demands, the book itself is the quality of what it is.

I'm aware of flaws, of things that don't work.  But it is an intrinsic, inherent part of the process, not a concern about what people will think.

It's really a saving grace.

The writing sweet spot.

I seem to have hit a sweet spot in writing.

Every night before I go to bed, I try to plan out the next days writing.  What's it missing?  What do I need to do to make the story more interesting?  How does it click?

Then I wake up and drink my coffee and read the news. Write on my blog.  I shower and get dressed.

Around noon I start my first writing session. Usually that just takes off on me.   I take an hour or two break, think about what I want to do next, then I have a second writing session..  Then I take three hour or four hour break, get any errands or chores done.   Then I sit down for a third writing session.  I finish up somewhere around early to late evening. 

Then I start the whole process over again.

For example:

Last night, I had maneuvered two of the main character to meet at the scene of the crime, but then -- I didn't have anything for them to do or talk about.  It occurred to me that I need for the more mature voreling to escape.  But I also like the idea of him breaking out of the lab and creating havoc in the the Bend suburbs.

What if I have two of them maturing out of the litter -- 'Six', a female, looks at him one day and he realizes she is maturing too, and he lets her have more food, etc.  She follows him out of the den when they are attacked, but she gets away.  And so on.

It gives me another action character to write -- a femme fatale.  Nice little addition. 

I still have to work out Naorsi's and Forrest's reactions and response.  It needs to be something interesting, besides, "Huh."

But I'm making progress.  The outline is turning out to be very flexible -- but it's still a good starting point.  That plus planning ahead for each writing session, maybe I'll be able to avoid the slow spots.

It's important that the book have interesting momentum, and that requires some thought.  The more I work these things out in advance, the less I'll have to go back and insert them.  To be aware that the story needs to have some strength -- and if it doesn't -- what I can do about it.

One of my favorite things is to ask myself -- "What's it missing?  What would make it work better?"  And then to just let my subconscious work on it for awhile.  Sometimes I need to spur it to action a little -- "what if..." but other times, it just pops into my head.  But first I have to ask the questions.

At the same time, to keep the emotional sense of the story, I need to write it fairly fast, trusting that I can go back and smooth out the rough spots, fill in the blanks, and make it more polished.

For instance, I'm realizing that I need to do research on wolves.  I don't need to be utterly realistic -- these are 'vorewolves' after all, which can be anything I want them to be.  But they have to be wolf-like.

The story has a different tone than Nearly Human.  Not even close to as much setup -- dives right into the story, and just takes off.  Which is good.  Wish I could get Nearly Human to do that too.  But Nearly Human has improved so much, there is no reason to believe that I can't continue to refine it until it works just as well.

I'm now so into this world and these characters, that I can easily see myself writing a series of books.

The Amazon emperor has no clothes.

Comes the news that Amazon actually loses money on direct sale of books.

Comes the news that the founder of Amazon basically brags about the strength of his company despite the lack of profits.

This isn't going to end well.

Not that anyone is going to listen to the owner of a small bookstore.  But I'll keep saying, this isn't going to end well.  The whole business plan is idiotic.  But apparently shareholders have bought into it, and as long as they keep believing, the ponzi scheme is intact.

One savvy competitor, one unexpected development, one new technological hack-- and the whole thing will come tumbling down.  Billions of dollars will have been churned, hundreds of small bookstores destroyed, untold infrastructure destroyed because of uncollected sales taxes, all for nothing.

The emperor has no clothes.

Festivals are good for business!

Just as long as they are held in the Old Mill District or Northwest Crossing.

We always have good weekends when they hold these events outside of downtown.  My theory--people either get done with the fest or avoid the fest and ask themselves -- hey, what else can we do?  I know!  Lets go downtown!

So, all hail street closures!  As long as they aren't MY street.

I've changed my mind -- outlining is a good idea.

Somehow I got it in my head that if I wrote an outline, I wouldn't write the book.  Somehow I convinced myself that I "discovered" the book by writing it. 

Problem was -- I may have been discovering the book by writing it, but the plot was coming out in such a haphazard way that it usually necessitated a whole lot of reorganization.  I was constantly writing myself into corners, or being too predictable, or having to go back and shoehorn elements I left out.

If I didn't finish outlined books in the past, there must have been other reasons for it, I think.

So I decided after struggling with Nearly Human that every book thereafter would be planned ahead, and then -- written quickly.

This seems to be working.  These two elements put together -- planning them and then writing quickly.  Along with the third working technique of being patient in rewriting.

The working process is at least as important as the creative process when I'm taking on as big a challenge as a novel.

What I'm discovering is, that it isn't so much the plot of the book that I need to outline -- though that is useful as far as it goes.  No, I need to think about what "elements" the book needs, and where.

1.) The plot.  If I have a clear idea of what a chapter is about, I tend to write it quickly and concisely.  But what I'm finding is, that the plot is a very flexible thing.  For instance, I outlined the first 11 chapters of Wolflander, but by the time I got to the 3rd chapter, I was already changing it.  In this case, I added a chapter.

I'm pretty sure this will happen throughout the book, but it just means that I'm constantly thinking about the plot, coming up with the next day or weeks writing, and changing things for the better.

2.) The elements.  What I mean by this is, the book needs to have all the proper parts.

A good example is when I started writing Death of an Immortal, I knew that the theme was going to be redemption.  That the main protagonist was trying to reform, and -- you know -- not eat people.
Well, what kind of vampire story is that?  So I decided I needed a Big Bad -- an evil vampire who could supply the thrills and chills.

In the past, I might have written the whole book without realizing what was missing.

With this newest book, I realized within a few thousand words that the original plot outline meant that all these secondary characters I had invented for Nearly Human, didn't have much to do.  So I thought about it for a few hours last night, and came up with a neat little plot device that will bring them in the story.  The plot element was there all along, but I just figured out a way to get the characters connected to it.

The more of this avoiding pitfalls I do in the first place, the easier it will be to write the book.

So I've come around -- planning for a book makes sense.  Outlining makes sense.  Making sure the book has all the elements to succeed makes sense.

I can still have plenty of flexibility in the actual writing.  If new plot point comes up, fine.  If a new character pops up and wants to be part of the story, fine.

Like a long road trip, detours are allowed, as long as I stick to the basic direction I mapped out.

Wolflander

I've decided to make my next Cobb book about werewolves.

Vampires.  Yawn.

Zombies.  Blech.

Werewolves are the Next Big Thing! 

Well, out of all the supernatural critters I could pick, werewolves interest me the most.

Title:  Wolflander.

So I'm thinking that I'll have the wolves naturally migrating into Oregon come up against the fact that Bend is the Nexus between Faery and Earth.


O.K.  Went out to the Badlands and came up with a preliminary plot.

I don't have too much trouble coming up with things.  I can can up with This, That, and the Next Thing.  What I seem to have trouble with, sometimes, is the sequence of these events.  Does That happen before This?  Does the Next Thing happen after This or That?

All this is harder than it looks, and that's why this time I'm actually planning the book, instead of setting off blindly.


I've got an outline sketch of the first 11 chapters and an overall direction I want to go.  This is more planning than I usually do.

What's cool is that, because I've already written a book in this world, I have the characters, background, setting and basic premise (Faery/Humans versus...) in place.  Why didn't I think of this trick before!?

No really.  Why didn't I think of this trick before?  I've written 8 books, and only two of them were connected and that's only because I originally planned them as one book.

Anyway, I'm going to get started today.  For some reason, I'm always a little nervous, scared before I start a new book.  

Blogging about writing...writing about blogging.

I was going to apologize for blogging about writing so much, then figured, what's the point?  I'm going to keep blogging about writing as long as that's what I'm doing.

I have decided, once again, that alcohol is just too hard on me.  I mostly don't drink because Linda doesn't drink, and because it messes up my equilibrium somehow.  I envy those folks that can have a few relaxing drinks every day, but I can't.  Two drinks is as bad as four drinks for me.

It's mostly how it affects my sleep cycle, I think.

One thing I've decided.  Wine is the creative alcohol for me. Which I don't understand -- isn't alcohol, just alcohol?  Beer just seems to fill me up -- and I think I might be a little allergic to some of the contents.

No, wine is what works for me when I'm writing -- cheap, white wine.  If nothing else it allows me to concentrate on one thing for longer than normal.  Sometimes it skews my vision and loosens my parameters enough to come up with some nifty phrasing.  Very occasionally, I feel like I get a good solid sense of direction.

Maybe I should be trying hard liquor, like all those hard-drinking, two fisted writers like Faulkner and Hemingway.  I keep thinking I'll stock a bottle of whiskey and vodka and -- but I think I've only been in a liquor store once in my life.

I'm between books, so to speak.  I think it's time to turn to something original, rather than working on an existing manuscript.  So I could write a sequel to Death of an Immortal, a sequel to Nearly Human, or a sequel to The Reluctant Wizard.

The Reluctant Wizard is my long term project -- my fantasy trilogy that I want to finish someday.  No hurry, but then again, any work on it wouldn't be wasted.

Nearly Human.  How strongly do I feel about this book?  Do I want to write a sequel to an unpublished book?  Would having more than one book in the series help me sell it?

Death of an Immortal.  Even more a question of following up something that doesn't seem to be gaining any traction.

In any case, I'm planning to do some planning first, so it will probably be either Nearly Human or The Reluctant Wizard, and I may not actually know until I sit down to actually work on it.

Probably Nearly Human since it is my active project, as far as sending it to agents and publishers, and writing a second book might help me with the first book as well.  (I love that as long as it isn't actually published yet, I can always go back and work on it...)

O.K.  So I'll apologize about blogging about writing -- but I ain't going to stop.

Changing the tone of my books as a way to fix them.

Many years ago, I sent Deviltree to Del Rey publishing.

I got back a letter from Lester Del Rey, telling me that though he liked my book, the main character "murders" innocents in the first chapter and that didn't fit his imprint.  He went on to suggest some other things I might change.

I thought it was cool that I got a letter back from the man for whom the Ballantine imprint -- the biggest fantasy publisher at the time -- was named; but didn't really realize what a big deal that really was. (Apparently, they don't do this very often.)

Anyways, I rewrote the book based on his recommendations.

Later I sent it to another big publisher, and got a letter back from Susan Allison who was another big name in the S.F. publishing world, and she also said she liked the story, and gave me some suggestions for improvement.

So I rewrote it again.

Neither publisher took it.  I later read that editors rarely take books they have rejected, even if you improve them --- because they've already rejected you...

Anyway, I got thoroughly sick of Deviltree after rewriting it so many times.  It came really really close to getting published, even being accepted at one point, but never got there.

At this point, I sent my next book, Sometimes a Dragon, off only twice, (once to Susan Allison who said she liked it, but it was too "stylistic", heh.)  Then gave up  -- thinking it would be for only a few years.   I was nearly married and newly a store owner...

...and that was it for my writing career for the next few decades.


So here it is, years later.  I'm rereading Deviltree, and it's OK.  Has some good imagination, some good characters, some decent writing.  I think I could do better now.  It seems to be missing a little 'something.'

So, dealing with the horror publisher has got me thinking. 

I prefer Dark Fantasy.  Sorry Lester Del Rey, but sometimes violence happens. 

What would happen if I turned Deviltree into Dark Fantasy?  What would happen if I turned Sometimes a Dragon into Dark Fantasy? -- (It would probably take the title Sometimes a Gargoyle, which would be natural to the plot I have in mind.)

I like this idea because it gives me something to grab onto.  It gives me something to add to stories that are missing a little something.  I don't like rewriting unless there is something substantial I'm changing.

I've gotten pretty good lately at inserting secondary stories into already existing plots -- to make them more interesting and complex. 

For instance, if I approach Deviltree, for instance as a "dying world" (which I imply but don't really play up) it adds all kinds of opportunities for mood and scene. 

 Even The Reluctant Wizard has strong elements of Dark Fantasy -- I just haven't played them up.  (For instance, the bad guys are more or less based on Aztecs -- pretty dark right there.  Their main minions are what I call Witchweres -- which are flying dark shrouds who suck the life out of their victims.)

Part of this is motivation to get me to give each of these books another effort.  But part of it feels right, too.

So even just approaching this horror publisher, no matter what happens, has had an unintended beneficial consequence.  It's got me going in a direction that interests me -- and above all, I really need to feel interested to make the changes I need to make...

Choosing the next book.

I've finished Nearly Human to my satisfaction for the moment.  Put that last surge of effort into it, which I'm proud of, and I think I made it much better in each of the last two drafts.

Sometimes a Dragon has been rewritten, and I'm sending it off to the copyeditor here in town.

So my next step, I think, is to plan out the second book in the Lore series.  Either that or the second book in the Cobb series (Nearly Human.)

1.)  Plan ahead, get the theme down and a rough plot outline.  Try to flesh out the backstory.

2.) Clear enough time away to write a first draft quickly.

3.) Set it aside, then come back to it several times.

THEN:

Pick the second project, and rinse and repeat.

THEN:

Go back to the first project.

And so on.

That's my working process now, which I learned after not doing it that way with Nearly Human.

I thought, when I started, that I could write a book like a blog.  Just wake up every day and do a thousand words, or something.

Doesn't work that way.

I thought, when I started, that I could be clever and snarky, but my main characters need to be underdogs and sympathetic and not clever and snarky.

I need to "feel" that first draft; I need to try not to take too many missteps; and I need to take the time at the end of the process to get it polished and right.

My weaknesses that I can do anything about, as it see it now, are that I need to spend more time on the background details, the little things that make the world real.  Again, I think it would help to visualize the world before I start.

When I actually write, I write quickly, so I can afford to take a little time to plan.  I've always said I don't outline because I discover the plot through writing -- but I just don't think I can afford to do that anymore.

At some point I want to go back to Deviltree -- add a couple of new elements -- and rewrite it from beginning to end.  I was thinking about making it more horror than fantasy, and how I could go about that.

I've gotten very clever lately about inserting secondary stories into an existing plot.  It actually works pretty well, I think, and Deviltree needs a little something more to really make it work.

So there's that, too.

I'm really enjoying the idea that I'm going to be able to do these things....

I think this is a book.

No matter what else happens, it's obvious to me that the last two rewrites of Nearly Human have improved the book. 

There's that moment in a book where it just clicks, and you know you've got the real thing on your hands.  I hadn't been feeling that, until recently.  As you know, I've been hesitant.  I kept putting the book down and going and writing other things for awhile.

I've written two other books in the course of working on Nearly Human.  I've rewritten an entire separate manuscript since, and I've got a good solid first draft of a fantasy down.

 I kept coming back and wrestling with this book, thinking there was something there.  And walking away frustrated, making improvements but knowing it still was floundering.

But I laid down that last read-through a couple of night ago, and went -- huh, what do you know?  This reads like a book.

But what an effort!   I've put over two years into this manuscript, off and on.  It has completely changed from the beginning in tone and plot. 

There's not much more I can do with it, for now.  I'm just seeing a jumble of words now.  I mean, I can tell it's much more polished and integrated and so on.

But the emotional content, and the pacing -- I'm just having a hard time feeling it anymore.

So, I'll send it off and set it aside and come back to it later.

But I will give myself credit for working hard on this book.  I told myself that I wouldn't be premature about sending it off.  That I'd wait for the moment when it clicked.

Having a deadline really helped.  I really focused in the last week.  Having an outside editor was very helpful, I think, in pointing out inconsistencies and getting the writing itself more polished.  She did me a big favor by pointing me in the direction of cutting.  I probably wouldn't have done that on my own.

But also, she seemed to take the book very seriously, treat it as a real possibility.  "In the unlikely even the publisher doesn't take it..." is the way she phrased the last draft.  Heh.  Yes, it cost me to get her to work so hard on it, but like I've said before, I don't need much encouragement.

I just need to feel like I'm making progress.

Writing for 20 hours.

I've been writing so intensively, that I almost forgot to blog!

That never happens.

Really put some effort into this last week, trying to shape up Nearly Human.

It's got to be much more polished by now, I think. 

We'll see.

This ain't no hobby. This ain't no disco. It's sloppy and hard work.

Writing Nearly Human has not been a tidy process.

Writing a book isn't efficient.  I look around my room and see papers scattered about, unfinished notes, newspapers, pencils and pens, cups and plates, blankets -- it all feels so slovenly.

Add to that how sitting around and thinking and laying down and internet browsing and playing solitaire and sometimes or mostly just staring into the screen -- with a few moments of writing -- make up most days.

Or, conversely, how I'll dive into a writing session and emerge six hours later unaware of how the time has passed.

It feels like I have made every mistake I'm prone to make with Nearly Human.

If nothing else -- and this sounds lame -- it has been a learning experience.  I've had to rediscover my strengths and weaknesses, and even more importantly, my working process.   I can say, too, that it has been a reaffirmation of my desire to write.

Because -- and this sounds lame, too -- I've worked really long and hard on this book.  This ain't no hobby if the amount of time and effort is taken into consideration.

This last round of rewriting has been interesting.  The editor I hired has been very helpful -- first as an affirmation that I was indeed making progress from the early drafts and actually had something worthwhile-- but also because it has spurred me into make yet another effort.  (I won't say final, because that's what I think every time and so far every time I've been wrong.)

She forced me to look at perhaps cutting the book, and so I set out over the last weekend to try to cut out the fat.  I managed to cut 17K words!  Which was both scary and exhilarating.  I'd rewritten this book so many times, added so many layers, that there was quite a bit of duplication.  But more importantly, many of the cute ideas and explanations and conversations and even some scenes I'd come up with, didn't propel the plot.  So I tried my best to cut or trim or consolidate those.

So the book should read much faster and smoother -- whether faster and smoother enough, I can't tell.

The book certainly reads differently.  The early version were 'interesting things,' one after another, with a sort of plot with hazy motivations.

This last draft is mostly about plot and story -- which is what a book should be, I think.

From what I learned from writing Nearly Human -- Freedy Filkins and Death of an Immortal and The Reluctant Wizard all came much easier, without so many of the missteps.  The working "process" may sound less important than the creative process, but all I'm really saying is that the working process makes it possible to do the creative process.  Otherwise, I'm floundering around.

I was inspired to go back and rewrite Sometimes a Dragon, which I always wanted to do but was afraid to tackle.

I'm making big decisions on direction and I'm willing to cut or change huge parts of the books -- which is necessary for me if I'm going to ever make these books better.

I don't know if there will ever be a payoff -- but I know that I've worked hard for it.  I've really put the effort into this for the last two years, and the last six months especially.

Though sometimes I feel like I'm just beginning.

Writing hard.

Me tired.

Worked on Nearly Human until 2:00 and woke and started again at 6:00.

Trying to get this done.  There's been some back and forth with the editor.  She has finished copyediting the whole book, so I'm integrating that with what I've done.

I made it through 22 chapters last night.  (With the help of some wine.)  Figure I cut about 7000 words, altogether.  I want to get through at least another 15 chapters this afternoon, and then send the fresh version to Lara in hopes that she'll see a couple more things to do.

I'm encouraged that she seems to think this is all worth doing -- that there is a real chance.  I don't expect it to be accepted because it's not strongly 'Horror', but I want to try and the possibility is getting me to work hard on it.  

Meanwhile, I'll keep working on it until Tuesday afternoon, as which time I'll send it to the publisher.

This is as intensive and concentrating a time at writing as I've ever had.

It's the deadline.  Trying to get it as good as possible by a deadline has made me really focus.

Of course, the result may end up being something like:

Writing Hard.  Me Tired.

What to cut and what not to cut.

I started cutting Nearly Human yesterday, at the editor's recommendations.   Cut about 6000 words in the first 50 pages or so.

It can be hard to know whether what I'm cutting is completely unnecessary, but I'm making my best guess.  If it doesn't advance the plot then it better be pretty important to characterization or it goes out.

I'm hoping to cut as much as 20,000 words and get the book lean and mean at about 100,000 words.

But I also decided to move the chapter with Lovecraft up much earlier in the book, as well as a chapter with Arthur Conan Doyle/Houdini that I had previously cut.  Then I wrote a brand new chapter with C.S. Lewis.  I mostly use their own words in these chapters, sometimes paraphrased and taken out of context, but put into their mouths.  I'm planning to write a Charles Williams chapter, too.

Lara really liked these chapters, and I do think they are maybe interesting to people who like these kinds of books.  I really liked writing them.

I'm hoping she can get me some recommendations of what to cut and condense.  I'm really having a hard time seeing my book as anything other than a jumble of words.  It always gets to this point with me, if I work on a book long enough.  It doesn't mean the writing is bad -- in fact, the very fact that I've put so much work in it means it's probably improved.  It's just that I can't feel it anymore.

I can look at a sentence and logic out that maybe it doesn't propel the story, but I can't figure out if there is a "feel" reason for it to be there.  So, I'm worried this is a little dangerous.  So that's why I'm hoping Lara has enough time to figure out what she thinks could be cut.

So...another two or three days of cutting, and then a complete read through and then I send it off to the publisher.

DEATH OF AN IMMORTAL 12

-->

CHAPTER 12.

Terrill arrived at the Black Bear restaurant a few minutes late.  The skies had cleared in late afternoon, and he had to wait for the sun to fall behind the Sisters Mountains before venturing out.

He'd thought about it all day.  How much to give to Sylvie.  Too much money and she might wonder.   Too little, and she might just spend it all on other things.  He decided on an amount and wrote out the check with the Prestigious Insurance heading.  If it turned out not to be enough, he could always send more later.

Chainsaw carvings of black bears surrounded the restaurant, and paw tracks were stenciled onto the sidewalk.  The entrance was enclosed within a gift shop with kitschy plates and statues.  It was dinnertime, and the place was packed.

Sylvie was talking to friends near the front counter, still wearing her waitress smock.  She saw him and waved.  She finished her conversation and went into the back, emerging seconds later as a civilian.

She nodded to the inside of the restaurant and led him to a small table in the corner, near the swinging doors from the kitchen.

"You hungry?" she asked.  "We make some pretty good hamburgers here."

"No," he said.  He wanted to hand the check over as soon as possible.  He wanted to get out of this high desert land with its bright sun and little shade.  He needed to get back to a city, where he could blend in, where his behavior wouldn't be observed by the same people every day.  The local butcher was already looking at him askance, and if he stayed much longer he'd have to track down another source for raw meat.

He handed over the check.

She didn't look at it.  She put it face down, and stared at him.  "Why are you doing this?"

"Doing what?  I'm just delivering an insurance settlement."

"Why are you delivering it?  I wouldn't have even known about it until you wrote me a letter.  If you'd put up enough roadblocks, I probably wouldn't have even fought it.  You could have sent it looking like junk mail and I would’ve thrown it away.  Why didn't you?"

"At Prestigious Insurance, we don't do things that way."

"That’s another thing.  I spent an hour on Google looking for a Prestigious Insurance and couldn't find it."

"We fly under the radar," he said.

"No kidding.  But why?  Why would an insurance company not want to be known?"

He took a drink of water trying to cover up his consternation.  Why the hell was she questioning it?

The swinging doors opened and a waitress came out overloaded.  She didn't quite make it out the door; one of the plates landed upside down, mashed potatoes squirting out onto Terrill's shoes.

There was some sarcastic clapping, but Terrill rose and reassured the young waitress that it was all right, waving her away from wiping off his shoes.

"That was nice of you," Sylvie said.  "She's new.  You could've really wrecked her confidence if you'd made a scene."   She was looking at him with raw appraisal and for the first time, she didn't seem suspicious of him.

"Pick up the check," he urged.

She put her hand on the check where it lay on the table.  She hesitated, then flipped it over and looked down.

"Holy shit!"

"Yes, your sister was quite generous." 

"I could live on this for ten years.  Hell, I don't need to go to school."

"Yes, and then what?  Besides, as I've said, the insurance is predicated on your continuing your education."

"Well, Central Oregon Community College doesn't cost all that much," she said.  "I'm not leaving Bend.  I can't leave my Mom and Dad right now.  They need my help.

"I understand they have a new four year program here."

"Yeah, if you want to be in the hospitality industry, or a chef, or something like that.  Hard sciences are still over in the valley."

The restaurant was getting crowded with the dinner crowd, the swinging doors were opening more and more often, and the clanking of dishes and the shouts of cooks washing over their conversation, was making it more and more difficult to hear each other.

A table of four guys fresh from a baseball game came in and sat in the next table over.  They weren't lowering their voices from the playground level.  

"There's a nightclub next door," Sylvie said.  "It should be quieter over there this early in the evening."

The other waitresses waved to her on her way out, and the desk clerk smiled brightly.  It was obvious Sylvie was popular around here.  They checked him out, too.  A well-dressed guy in his thirties -- an obvious catch.  Then again, a girl like Sylvie probably had plenty of guys sniffing around.

The nightclub was mostly empty, it being too early for the night crowd.  They found a quiet table near the bar.  They both ordered a couple of Deschutes Ales to pay for their table.

“You old enough?”

She smiled brightly.  “Turned 21 a month ago.”

He cleared his throat after they both took a deep swig.  "You were saying that there weren't any hard science programs here but with enough money the programs will come to you.  Believe me, no school will turn you down with your grades, especially if you pay full tuition."

"How the hell do you know about my grades?'

"Well, I assumed.  I'm right, aren't I?"

She looked away.  She had stuffed the check in her pocket, and it seemed to him that she didn't even want to think about it.

"Why are you fighting it?" he asked, softly.

Tears came to her eyes, and she looked down.  "Jamie died.  It seems all wrong that I should benefit from that.“

"It's not your fault.  You had nothing to do with it."  

"I feel...guilty.  Like I caused it, or something."

"What you said last night at your house -- she got unlucky, that's all.  She met the wrong guy.  It could have happened here, or anywhere, believe me."

"But she might not have been over there in Portland at all, if it wasn't for me."  She put her face into her hands and sobbed.   "She wouldn't have been doing...what she was doing."

"Sylvie.  Listen to me."  He stared at her until she looked up and met his eyes.  "Your sister was thinking of you, and you will honor her memory by taking this money and making something of your life."

"I will?" she smiled sadly.

"Yes...you will.  It's what Jamie wanted."

They drank their beers and ordered another round, and settled into a companionable conversation about schools.  She seemed to know a lot about which colleges had the best programs, and he encouraged her to look into them.  She was easy to talk to, just as Jamie had been.  But whereas Jamie had a slightly defeated manner, Sylvie was still defiant, still hopeful the world would come through for her.

They didn't notice when the four baseball players from the restaurant came in, or when two of them walked over to their table. 

"Sylvie? Is that you?" 

The two men stood over them with big grins.

"Yeah?" she said, in a neutral voice.

"It's Peter Saunders...I dated your sister in high school."

"I remember you," she said.  She obviously didn't like the guy, but was trying to be polite.

"Hey, I heard about what happened to Jamie.  I'm sorry."

Sylvie softened a little, and her eyes became moist again.  "Thank you, Peter."

He sat down in the booth next to her suddenly, and she had to scrunch closer to the window to make room.  The other man stood directly over Terrill.  

"Scoot over man," he said, and pushed his way onto the seat.  Terrill made way reluctantly.  They both smelled of sweat, of healthy young men.  Once Terrill would have torn them to pieces for their rudeness, but he stayed silent.

"Yeah, I was sorry she moved to Portland.  She was the best piece of ass in Bend."

Sylvie stiffened.  The young man, Peter, looked over at Terrill challengingly, as if to ask, 'What are you going to do about it?'  Terrill stared back, but didn't say anything.  It wasn't the reaction Peter was looking for.  He seemed a little disconcerted.

The guy next to Terrill spoke up.  "She never would put out for me."

"No?" Peter said.  "Well, you are one ugly son of a bitch."

"Not even on the second date."

"Well, I heard she was selling herself over in Portland.  Once those bastards over there hollowed her out, maybe you could've afforded her."

"Come on, you guys," Sylvie said.  "Get out of here."  She didn't sound so much angry, as sad. 

"Why?  Jim here was wondering if you put out for free.  Or do you cost money too?"

"That's enough," Terrill said.  The tone in his voice froze both men.  They stared at each other, as if challenging the other to say something.  Peter looked Terrill up and down and seemed to decide he wasn't much of a threat.  Both men were huge, steroid inflated jocks.  Terrill was as tall as they were, but nowhere near as muscled.

"I like your duds, man.  Obviously, you can afford her.  Jamie always was a skank, ever since middle school.  Sylvie probably costs more, being that she's so much fresher."

"Stand up," Terrill said.

They looked at each other, grinning.  They were about to get what they came for.  No doubt, they didn't expect he'd put up much of fight.   They stood up and waited for him.

He took his time, wondering what he was going to do.  If he fought these two men, he doubted he would be able to control himself. Any other time, any other place, he would have taken the chance.  But not here, not in front of Jamie's little sister.

He tried to stare them down, and they backed away a step in response.  If there had just been one of them, it probably would've been over.  But the each of them was egging the other one on.

Peter took a swing at him, which he easily evaded.  But Jim came in low, from the other side, and Terrill was slammed against the edge of the table.  The air went out of his lungs, and he collapsed to the floor.

Both men started kicking him, and he put his hands over his head in protection.  He wasn't afraid.  Under the cover of his hands, he was trying to minimize the damage, taking notice of what part of his body was being struck.  Again, he hoped that was enough to satisfy the young men’s' bloodlust.

He fought the urge to tear them apart.  His fangs started to extend, but he kept his face down.  He thought he heard a gasp from Sylvie, but didn’t dare look at her.  A kick to his neck and he was gasping for breath, and his fangs and claws retracted.   That had never happened before in the face of danger.  He wondered about it as he continued to take the blows without resistance.

It was the girl, he thought.  He didn’t want to turn into a monster in front of her -- he didn’t want her to know that he was her sister’s murderer.  He wanted desperately to look like a good man in front of her.

The guys were beginning to tire.  It wasn’t any fun if their prey wasn’t going to fight back.

But Peter wasn't satisfied.  He picked Terrill up, and slammed his head down on his knee. 

That was the last thing Terrill remembered.


Hi.  This is the last chapter I'm posting.  Yes, it was a big tease.  But getting the rest of the book is easy.  All you need to do is go to smashwords (below) and sign up.  It's free.  Then you can buy the book in many formats for 2.99.

It will be a great favor to me if you do, but I think you'll enjoy the rest of the book if you've gotten this far.

Thanks to anyone who has been reading.  In the words of Spartacus, "gratitude."

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/289646

No such things as "drafts" in digital -- just constant change.

My copy-editor has suggested cuts and consolidations to Nearly Human -- plus thinks I should describe characters and the Central Oregon setting more.

So I'm going to dive in over the next four days and see what I can get done.  I have no problem with cutting -- in fact, I usually feel like I'm rushing things, so I let myself go on purpose sometimes.  I have no problem making cuts.

It's big book, so I could cut quite a lot.

What's interesting to me is that most of the early parts she thinks I should cut are from the first efforts -- including the first chapter that sent me on my journey.  It sort of confirms that I was kind of 'feeling' my way at first, and only oriented myself after nearly a year went by.  So this book is going to be very different from those early drafts -- it's like human cells that have been replaced, so that after a time, you don't have the same body, but you still have a body.  I don't have the same book, but I still have a book.

She seems to like the actions scenes -- and especially the "author" scenes -- which is also what I like the most.  I'm thinking of front-loading the "author" chapters -- to get the hardcore horror readers intrigued. 

Cutting the dialogue is in the "process" scenes is O.K. with me -- though I have to be careful not to cut anything that appears important later in the book.  

It will be horror readers who will be reading this, so many of the explanations probably aren't all that necessary.

So...taking a big breath and getting it done.  I'm not worried about having enough time, I'm just worried about not getting confused moving things around -- remembering what I've done and where I've done it.  But I'll just try tackling one problem at a time.

I'm impressed with myself -- my willingness to keep working on this fucking thing.  A few years ago, I would have just given up.

There are no such things as "Drafts" in the digital age  -- only constant change.

The self-perpetuating store.

The store is self-perpetuating at this point.  Took a long time to get here.  Took a long time to even realize that it was my goal.

For instance:  I pay little attention to best-seller lists.  Every once in a while I'll take a glance and pluck one or two interesting titles and add them to my inventory wishlist.

But mostly, I have X amount of money, and when I look at what I've sold and reorder it, most of the X is gone.

So -- I can go out and buy a copy of some unknown book -- or I can look at the sales trajectory of Vader and Son and buy it, knowing it will sell.

In other words, I have sales history on a bunch of non-"best-seller" consistent sellers for my store. 

You figure out these things one at a time.  I avoided Doctor Who paraphenalia for a long time, lumping it in with other 'cult' products like Star Trek and NBX where there seems to be huge interest and tiny sales.

I found to my surprise that the Doctor Who fans were good for it -- especially the Sonic Screwdrivers.  So I've tried to have a selection of Screwdrivers ever since.

So I just keep adding item after item that seems to sell consistently.  Because I've diversified into 5 to 10 product lines, depending on how you define it, I always have a list of proven sellers to buy.

This contrasts with the first 15 years of business, where I was dependent almost exclusively with timely product, which came in once and then on to the next thing.  Monthly comics and the newest card releases was playing ongoing Russian Roulette.

I developed the self-perpetuating model only after lots of trial and error.  And only after the industry itself seemed to move in that direction.

The book industry, especially, is bit of mystery to me -- why they are having so much trouble.  If they would just concentrate on proven sellers, I think they'd do better.  Instead, they seemed to be trapped by the "Best-Seller" model -- which Amazon and Barnes and Noble and Costco can do cheaper and in greater volume.

The "next new thing" is all well and good.  By all means, you'll want to carry them.  But don't forget that you have 300 years of book history behind you, and that Hemingway and Heinlein and Kerouac never stop selling.

Sure -- you have to try new titles.  Do lots of sampling.  But in a book world where you can get a reorder in one or two days, with minimal shipping costs, why do you order extra copies of some books and no copies of most books?

As you can see, I'd love for an opportunity to show that I could run a full new bookstore, to show my model would work.  It works in my store -- but it's only 20% of my business, so it doesn't prove the test.

Turning a full thousand or two thousand square feet to books and nothing but books, would be the test.

But I have no doubt I could fill it with proven sellers.  The book industry is full of proven sellers.  It seems to me that most book retailers ignore them, for some weird reason.  They are way too influenced by the industry publications and media, I believe.  Not focused on the books themselves, but what people are saying about books.

Which is like gambling with every order.  The return system encourages this -- volume discounts encourage this -- higher discounts ordering in volume from publishers instead of wholesalers -- encourages this.

But it's still taking chances they just don't need to take.

They could take much of the gamble out by concentrating on proven books, and dabbling in new best-sellers.  Most booksellers, it seems to me, concentrate on new best-sellers and dabble in proven books. 

I may be wrong.  Maybe you can't make enough money on proven sellers -- but have to depend on the "Next Big Thing."

 You could do both, just with the accent on the former, instead of the latter.

A bachelor for ten days.

I made the joke on Facebook that with Linda in Florida for 10 days, I was seeing how it would be to be a bachelor.

It isn't a pretty sight.

So, I watched less television than usual -- not just because I was taping the shows we watch together, but because I just don't tend to turn the infernal contraption on.

What I did end up watching is -- Chinese movies.  Lots and lots of Chinese movies.  Don't know why.  Probably because it's the biggest repository of good movies I haven't seen.  Linda doesn't like subtitled and I don't mind, so it's the perfect thing to watch when she isn't here.
 
Actually, despite the image I might have evoked above, the house is a bit more clean and in order -- it's easy for me to pick up after myself.

I drank wine for several nights.  Linda doesn't drink, so generally neither do I.

Slept really well.  I don't get up at night and Linda does...

I talked to myself -- as an idea generator for the books.   "What's weak and needs to be fixed?  What can I add or subtract to make it better?  What parts are still bother me..." and so on.  Easier to talk to myself without feeling crazy if another person isn't there.

I'd planned to spend all ten days finishing Sometimes a Dragon, but I was done in 3 days.  Then I planned at editing Nearly Human but I was done in two days.  

I fought off the cat's constant demand for hugs and cuddles.  Normally she's even a little standoffish to me, so this was a little startling.  We have our late night lap time, an hour or two before bed she'll jump on my lap while I'm reading, and after curling up for awhile, she'll turn around with an evil gleam.  Then I grab her head with my hand and we have a knock-down drag out fight for a few minutes.  When her claws start coming out, it's time to quit playing.

It alarms Linda, but Panga starts it.

Went walking in the high desert, dust up to my knees, but very pleasant.  Back to work on Wednesday and my wonderful wife was back home waiting for me, safe and sound.

Benefits of being a bachelor:

Cat cuddles.

Better sleep.

Wine drinking.

Downsides of being a bachelor:

Everything Else.

Boredom is the spark to creativity?

Saw an article that asserted that boredom is the spark of creativity.

If you are constantly entertained by your phone and your computer and your xbox and your T.V. and ect. ect. You never get the urge to fill it with something creative.

Thing is, I don't get bored.  Never really have.  Stick me in a bare room by myself and and I'll just sit there and ruminate about things.  No boredom there.

But I will agree that unused time is necessary for writing.

I noticed a long time ago that if I had one or two days off, I never got the urge to write.  If I got three days off, I'd start to get an urge, but I'd turn it off because I'd be going back to work the next day.  Getting three or more days off is what it really takes.  I find by the end of the first day or the beginning of the second day, I'm rarin' to go.  But only because I know I have that time in front of me.

Same thing happens on a daily basis.  If the day is going to get broken up by chores or errands or appointments, I put my subconscious on hold.

Creativity is a "shy pet" who you have to give freedom to tiptoe out its cage and sniff the air.

Lots and lots of rumination before I take action.  Giving myself time.  Letting the creative rhythms' take charge.

Don't get me wrong, you can't just sit around waiting for inspiration.  No --you call forth the inspiration, and you coax it, and you ask it nicely.  You can try the five minute rule, for instance.   (Sit at a task for five minutes and more often than not you'll keep going.)  Or you can browse the manuscript, or you can play solitaire or talk to yourself or go for a walk.

It won't just come without asking.  And it comes much easier, for me, in quiet alone space and time.

Not boredom -- space that needs to be filled with ideas.  Ideas that can bloom, instead of being crowded out by other things.

I'm not even reading much these days.  I'm taping shows and trying to watch them in chunks.  I'm dropping mediocre shows -- Revolution, Red Widow, for instance.

I had been cooped up in the house for 5 days, and yesterday I got in the car and drove out to the high desert and just sort of walked around for a few hours.  Sat down on stumps and pulled my hoodee over my head and computer and typed in some ideas.  But mostly just ruminated.

It was dry and smelled sweet and the temperature was perfect -- high 60's.  Just a great central Oregon day.

Didn't write much, but I know that when I breathed in that dry sweet air, I was sucking in ideas somewhere in the back of my brain.

Nurturing it not with boredom, but with contemplation.

First cracks in Walmart's armor?

There's a few articles out there about how Walmart is falling down on the job.  Apparently they've cut 100's of thousands of employees lately, while adding hundreds of stores.

So the complaints by customers is that there isn't merchandise at the store or product on the shelves, because there aren't enough employees to unpack and display the new arrivals.

The article is framed with the idea that Walmart customer service sucks.  All such articles seem mostly concerned about "customer service."

O.K.  That's a problem.  But it's a by-product of the real problem.  Not hiring enough employees and not paying them enough to retain them is the real problem. 

The Real Real problem is -- if you don't have products on the shelves to sell, you can't sell them. 

When we had a store in the Mountain View Mall, we were three stores down from Kmart.  You could almost see that store going downhill day by day.  Empty shelves is what I remembered -- it shocked me. 

By that time I was disabused of my notion that giant corporations are efficient.  They are dumb and slow, but oh so big.  A tree can outsmart you if it falls on you.  Then you are as dumb as a stump and just as dead.

They kill you with volume and price.  If service really mattered to people, these huge stores would be the ones in trouble, not the small independents.  Real service is having the product, conveniently displayed, with clear pricing, and it's gravy if you have someone behind the counter who actually knows something.

As you know, I'm a big fan of inventory.  That's what the mass market has always had over us -- that and price.  If they start falling down on that, they're in trouble.

But here's the thing -- inventory is limitless on the web, and price is even cheaper. 

So you've got the small specialty shops on one side, and the Amazon's of the world on the other, and the mass market in-between.

Things change, that's for sure.