Somewhere in my itty bitty brain, an idea is developing.

Drank a little red wine last night, and wrote some sparkling paragraphs.

But it's a little like pooping diamonds.  It hurts the next day.

I probably needed a little inspiration.  I was doing a workmanlike job on the last three chapters.  But I wasn't really 'feeling' it.  So this was nice.

I'm not saying my sparkling paragraphs are actually better than my workmanlike paragraphs.  More in the way of a change-up, a little tonal texture.  Plus, I love it when I can riff like that.  But riffing too much, I'm not sure that's such a good thing either.

During the morning, I wrote a chapter that I wasn't sure going into it that I needed; that is, I saw a way around it.  I'm trying to drive straight to the ending, so I contemplating skipping the chapter.  But I'm also trying not to stray too far from the original blueprint  -- at least in the first draft.  (That's a bit of a change, by the way -- that I would rewrite it, but it's gotten complex enough that that's going to be necessary.  Not a quick throw it up on my blog, like FREEDY FILKINS.)

Anyway, it turned out that an important plot development popped up, so my instincts were right.

I think the biggest thing that has happened over the last two  years is that I'm just trusting my subconscious more and more.  When the time comes, the idea is there.

2012 results at Pegasus Books.

A quick wrap up of 2012 at the store.

Overall for the year, we were up by 12% from 2011.

It is our third best year on record, behind the boom years of 2006 and 2007.

However, books and games were 25% of sales this year, and were hardly a blip in those other years, so with the same product as we had in 06 and 07, we'd still be down around 20%.

Then again, I was savvy enough to bring in books and games, so it counts.

COMICS:  Up 12.5%.  Solid.  DC new 52 is fading though, so this may be hard to keep up.

GRAPHIC NOVELS: Up 16%.  Very good result, since this is a pretty mature line.

(Comics and Graphic novels combined, up 14%.  They were 40% of sales, down from the 50% they have been for years and years.  So -- I'd be alarmed by the percentage drop if it wasn't for the overall increase in sales, which means not that comics and g.n. aren't performing, but the other product is performing better.  Which is healthy.)

CARDS:  Up 8%.  Always depends on a few 'box' buyers coming around, or not.

CARD GAMES:  Down 9%.  Only category that was down.  Hard do know if this is an overall weakening of the game, or just more competition.  I don't have much control over either.

 GAMES:  Up 12%.  A good result, since this is now a mature line.  I do think the mass market is going to be taking a bigger chunk as times goes on, though.

BOOKS:  Up 3%.  I've got a stable inventory now, so I'm not going to see the large increases I was seeing in the past.

TOYS:  Up 34%.  Made a conscious effort to bring in more toys, so this is gratifying.


A good solid year, without too many surprises.  I'm encouraged that my employees have done such a good job, without me having to be there all the time.

This current year the focus will be more on profits than on sales, so I might see a slight decline in sales without feeling too bad about it.  The store has the inventory positions I wanted and now I need to maintain those levels.

Happy New Year.

Exile the Waltons!

I twittered this idea.

I think we ought to take the three Walton heirs and exile them to the island of St. Helena.

Then we redistribute their wealth the bottom third demographic, doubling their net worth in one move.

Hey, I'm not advocating we hurt the Waltons or anything.  Just send them to where Napoleon spent his last years.  They can live in luxury. 

Arguably, they've done as much to harm the general populace.

We could give them 25 million each, you know, minimum wage for billionaires.

So old Sam had procreative sex three times.  Otherwise, the money might have been left to his cats, who had about as much to do with it as his kids.

It's for the greater good!  3 versus 150 million!

We stick them on the island and then forget about it, pretend it never happened.

Too much?

Better than my previous position on the subject, which was:  Eat The Rich!

UPDATE:  I'm sorry.  Sam had procreative sex Six times.  All the better, they can keep each other company.

Generalizations about generations.

Speaking of which:  I think young people today aren't terribly different from young kids ten years ago, twenty years ago, thirty years ago.

That's how far back I can go to testify.

I've often bemoaned that they don't "read" as much.  But I'm not totally sure that is true, even.  Kids didn't read much when I was a kid, either.  It's always been a minority.

And certainly, technology has changed their outward behavior.

But the inner wiring -- that's pretty much the same, I think.

You know the old saying, Kids Today....

But I still think the phrase "The Kids Are All Right" is still pretty valid.

"Grabbing" the reader.

I'm having the same reaction to Facebook that I had to Twitter.  There isn't enough original content.  Most of it seems to be links to other things.  That's disappointing.

Meanwhile, I've held to my pledge of not going to Reddit.  I'm still disgusted that someone slipped in a murderous GIF.  But more, it was a massive time -suck.  The whole internet is a massive time-suck.

Writing requires quiet time for me, lots of thinking and meditating.  I figure that's good for me, no matter what ends up happening to the books. 

Was having a discussion about ebooks yesterday with a couple of guys who buy them.  Both of them said, if the book doesn't grab them in the first chapter, they don't buy it.

Something about that bothers me a little.  What do they mean by "grab?"

I was thinking back to my first book, where the first chapter is the hero sitting in a library, watching the dust swirl and his mentor reading and contemplating a coming ceremony.

Blah.  Right?

Hey, grab the reader by having a barbarian come through the window swinging a mace.  They have a vicious fight, and he ends it by quipping something and bashing the invaders head in.  Did that grab you?

I'm always a little leery about making generalizations about "young" people these days, but it does seem that they require a jolt of something "cool" right off the bat. 

It's all well and good to have a "cool" idea, but that isn't the same thing as a well developed story. 
I decided one of the great things about Lord of the Rings is how long it takes to get going, that he spends time setting the table.  Then he delivers.

Going back to my fear of generalizations about generations -- I think a good story is probably a good story, and there are lots of ways to "grab" someone. 

I have to believe that.

Writing is existential - - but then, everything is.

I took chapters 3 - 5 to writer's group last night, and again it seemed to pass muster more than most of my efforts.  So having the first 5 chapters in pretty good shape is great -- in some ways, these are the hardest and most important chapters in the book.

I'm about 20K words in, so it is coming fast.  I have the plot more or less planned for the next 10K words or so.  All the chapters where the main character is driven down down down.  In other words, I'm painting him into the tightest corner I can.

How he comes back, I only have a faint inkling, though I have a couple possible endings in mind.  I'm trusting that my subconscious will come up with a solution.


Been having a little existential angst about writing.  Should I really be spending so much time on it?  What's the use?  I mean, more than a million ebooks per year, anything I write is a drop in the bucket and I've already proven to myself from my blog and other internet activities that I'm hopeless at promoting myself.

Then again, I should at least give it a try.  Can't know until I do it.

I'm enjoying writing, so I'm almost afraid that my reaction to absolutely no one buying or reading it will be to give up.

Then again, everything existential.  What's the use of anything, if you think about it too much?

As far as trying the traditional route, I'm so prolific I think I'll probably be able to try that too.

Had my Monday meeting with my tech guy.  He's going to get the DEVILTREE and the FREED FILKINS covers ready.  He gave me a template for publishing, and we plugged FREEDY into it and it passed muster, so that should make the process easier from here forward.

I still need to get DEVILTREE's scans in proper shape.  I've done about a third of that.

NEARLY HUMAN  is out with an editor, and I suppose I'm hoping she'll have some magical answers.  The cover for that is almost ready.  On all three covers, we just need to play with the fonts a a little. 

Hell, maybe all these roadblocks to getting my stuff online has been good for me.  I've got one full book that's a mess and trying to be fixed.  One small book that is slight and ready to go.  One small book that will be part of a bigger storyline.  And now, this vampire book.

As well as four manuscripts from my past -- three which were published, and one that might have been published if I hadn't given up.

Plus another manuscript that I liked, but which is also a big mess and would require some major rehaul.

I certainly am doing all the writerly things from my end.

The existential part is -- if a book is written and no one reads it, does it really exist?

Keeping up.

I haven't written about the store for awhile.

I'm bound and determined to get through the slow months without slowly building debt.  I've always said,  'I make money four months out of the year, lose money four months out of the year, and break even four months out of the year.'

Reading the reports from other comic shops about the Christmas season, it really clarifies just what a tourist town Bend is -- most shops don't have quite the boost in summer and Christmas, but also don't have quite the decline in the spring and fall.

The two slowest months of the year are now November and January, which bracket the busiest month of the year, December, which is pretty inconvenient.  It means if I want to stock up for Christmas I'm almost bound to spend more in November than I'll make and I risk losing money in January and February.

So I'm trying to avoid that this time.  I'm making crucial reorders, but not stocking up beyond that.

I've spent the last decade building the inventory in the store -- that last two efforts were boardgames and new books.  Sometime last year, I more or less reached the limit of the space available.

Maintaining a store is much easier than building a store, and I think I'm finally ready to do that.

As I mentioned, December sales were down by 13%, but we made much, much better profits.  Even better, we made it through November and January without losing money.

As much as I'd like ever increasing sales, I think I'll like better profits even more.

I'm making sure we're stocked with everything we're supposed to be stocked with -- but not worrying about expanding or experimenting.  That makes life twice as easy, frankly.  It's only possible because I've already done the hard work of diversifying over the last decade.

If something new comes along, I won't ignore it, of course.  But I haven't really seen anything that I think would fit.  I still have some improvement to make with Toys and Cards, so I still have some work to do there.

But the rest of it is mostly keeping up.

A million bad words.

Read an interesting quote, I'm sorry I can't tell you who said it: that a writer has a million bad words in him before he gets proficient.

If that's true, I must be almost there.

Meanwhile, I'm continuing to read the Yiddish Policeman's Union.  I may have been a little unfair to it, saying it wasn't grabbing me.   The writing is amazing, the complexity and the heart.  A good book in almost every way except that it doesn't grab me.  I read a Lee Child book in about a day in a half in the middle of the month long reading of Y.P.U.

I'm vetting DEVILTREE, making sure the digital copy is correct, and while I'm at it, I'm reading it.

So I'm reading my best writing from 25 years ago.

It feels a little pedestrian, one step at a time.  A quarter of the way through and they are still at what I would consider the introductory parts -- they haven't even escaped the city yet.

On the other hand, I've done a pretty good job of building an "otherness" that draws you in.  Making it seem credible.

I'm a much looser writer now, and I'm not sure that's a complete improvement.

In the end, I could never write a book like Y.P.U.  I can only write as deeply and creatively as I am.  A little luck and hard work can improve that, but only by so much.

I think I can write a interesting book, possibly.  Entertaining, hopefully.

Just don't know if I've done that yet.

Back to writing that million words....

Staying on track.

Yesterday was a great example of why I need extra time to be a writer.  Time to waste.  Except, as I'll try to prove, I don't really think it's a waste.

So, because of different factors, especially the root canal surgery, there were 5 days since the last writing session on my vampire story.

I started thinking about it around noon, my usual time.  But nothing came.  I couldn't pick up the threads, I reread and tried to recapture it.  I puttered around.  I waited for inspiration.  While I was doing that, I came up with more plot and thematic elements I wanted to accomplish, but the spark to start my 8th chapter just wouldn't come.

Even though I had told myself I wouldn't ever push my writing again, I decided I had no choice.  It wasn't really pushing, I told myself, since I knew what I wanted the chapter to do.  It was just that I couldn't come up with the beginning inspiration.  (It doesn't take much, sometimes just a word or two, a scene, an idea...)

I wrote the chapter and it did what I wanted, but not much more.

Took the usual two hour break, and started the next chapter -- which flowed easily.  Very easily.


So the lesson?

I need time, sometimes hours, maybe even days to just putter around and try to wait, and then maybe nibble at some writing.

I need to not let too much time pass between writing sessions.  If I'm going to write my story quickly, and try to maintain consistent tone and theme, then I need to write.

I need to find the fine line between "forcing" my writing, and making sure I keep some momentum.  The part that can't be forced, I think, is the plot.  The writing can be forced to a certain extent as long as I know what I'm trying to accomplish.

An example:  When I was writing FREEDY,  I lost an entire chapter.  After trying to get it back all day, I finally sat down that night and rewrote the chapter.  I wasn't happy with it -- I wasn't feeling it -- but I had tried to put in all the elements I had thought of.

A week or so later, I was reading this portion of the novel -- and I almost couldn't remember which chapter it was that I'd lost.  When I figured it out, it turned out to be the best of the 5 or so chapters I read.

The point being, I had in fact worked out the elements of the chapter, and the nuts and bolts of actually writing it were easily reproduced.  The original concept wasn't, but the writing was.

In the past, having five days between writing and then being stumped for most of a day, might have been the end of the story.  By having time off, I could wait around -- not wasting time, but letting the story come back to me.

I'm back on track.

I need to do my monthly orders, but I'm going to keep the next three days for writing and then spend all day and night Wednesday to do the orders.

It's important that I stay on track.

Downtown Comings and Goings. 1/20/13.

We now know the names of the three new restaurants downtown.  I knew a couple of them, but restaurants fall through so often, I thought I'd wait for comfirmation.

The Drake is taking the El Jimador space.  Sweet Saigon is talking Amalia's, and the Firehall is becoming Brickhouse.

Cozy Lamb has moved inside a building, which doesn't meet my standards of keeping a street storefront, so I'm putting it in the Goings section, with a note.


NEW BUSINESSES DOWNTOWN

Sweet Saigon, Wall St., 1/20/13.
Brickhouse, Oregon Ave., 1/20/13.
The Drake, Wall St. , 1/20/13
541 Threads, Minnesota Ave., 10/13/12.
O Mo Mo!  Bond Street, 10/3/12.
Crow's Feet Commons, Brooks Street, 9/21/12.
The Cozy Lamb, Minnesota Ave., 9/14/12.
Noi, Bond Street, 9/14/12.
Azillian Beads, Franklin Ave., 9/6/12.
Earth*Fire*Art, Oregon Av., 7/10/12.
Pastrami Deli, Franklin Av., 7/10/12.
Bend Your Imagination, Minnesota Av., 7/10/12.
Paul Scott Gallery), Brooks St., 7/10/12
Natural Edge Furniture, Bond St., 5/10/12
Hola!, Bond St., 3/3/12.
Amanda's, Franklin Ave., 2/24/12
Barrio, Minnesota Ave., 2/12/12.
Rescue Moderne, Harriman, 1/12/12.
Letzer's Deli, Franklin Ave. 2/12/12.
Navidi, Minnesota Ave., 2/9/12.
Mazza, Brooks St. , 2/9/12.
La Magie Bakery, Bond St., 1/6/12
Brother Jon's Ale House, Bond St., 12/10/11.
What Lola Wants, Wall St. , 12/2/11.
Jackalope Grill, 10/12/11.
Gypsy Soul, Wall St. 10/12/11.
Colour N' the City, Tin Pan Alley, 10/12/11.
Lotus Moon, Brooks St., 10/12/11.
The Lobby, Bond St. , 10/12/11.
Ruby, Minnesota Ave., 10, 12/11.
Kariella, Lava Road, 8/24, 11.
Plankers, Wall St., 7/11.
Faveur, Franklin, 7/11.
Dream Pebbles, Minnesota Ave., 6/15/11.
Bend Yogurt Factory, Franklin/Bond, 4/26/11.
High Desert Lotus, Bond St. , 4/4/11.
Tryst, Franklin Ave., 3/11/11. (Formerly Maryjanes, **Moved**).
D'Vine, Wall St. , 2/9/11.
Let it Ride!, Bond St., 1/29/11.
Gatsby's Brasserie Bar, Minnesota Ave., 1/8/11
Tres Jolie, Wall St., 12/20/10.
Caldera Grill, Bond St., 12/7/10
Bond Street Grill, 12/7/10.
Perspective(s), Minnesota Ave., 11/20/10
Toth Art Collective, Bond St. 11/20/10
Boken, Breezeway, 11/20/10
Dalia and Emilia, Wall St., 10/3/10.
Antiquarian Books, Bond St., 10/3/10.
Giddyup, Minnesota Ave., 10/3/10.
The Closet, Minnesota Ave., 8/11/10.
Showcase Hats, Oregon Ave., 8/11/10,
Red Chair Art Gallery, Oregon Ave. 7/13/10.
Earth Sense Herbs, Penny's Galleria, 7/12/10.
Mad Happy Lounge, Brooks St., 6/2910
Common Table, Oregon Ave. , 6/29/10.
Looney Bean Coffee, Brooks St. , 6/29/10.
Bourbon Street, Minnesota Ave., 6/22/10
Feather's Edge, Minnesota Ave., 6/22/10
The BLVD., Wall St. , 6/13/10.
Volt, Minnesota Ave. 6/1/10.
Tart, Minnesota Ave. , 5/13/10
Olivia Hunter, Wall St. 4/5/10.
Tres Chic, 4/5/10 (Moved to Minnesota Av.)
Blue Star Salon, Wall St. 4/1/10.
Lululemon, Bond St. 3/31/10.
Diana's Jewel Box, Minnesota Ave., 3/25/10.
Amalia's, Wall St. (Ciao Mambo space), 3/12/10
River Bend Fine Art, Bond St. (Kebanu space) 2/23/10
Federal Express, Oregon Ave. 2/1/10
***10 Below, Minnesota Ave. 1/10/10
Tew Boots Gallery, Bond St. 1/8/10.
Top Leaf Mate, 12/10/09
Laughing Girls Studio, Minnesota Ave. 12/7/09
Lemon Drop, 5 Minnesota Ave., 11/12/09
The Curiosity Shoppe, 25 N.W. Minnesota Ave, Suite #7. 11/5/09
Wabi Sabi 11/4/09 (**Moved, Wall St.**)
Frugal Boutique 11/4/09
5 Spice 10/22/09
Cowgirls Cash 10/17/09
***Haven Home 10/17/09
Dog Patch 10/17/09
The Good Drop 10/12/09
Lola's 9/23/09
**Volcano Wines 9/15/09
Singing Sparrow Flowers 8/16/09
Northwest Home Interiors 8/5/09
High Desert Frameworks 7/23/09 (*Moved to Oregon Ave. 4/5/10.)
Wall Street Gifts 7/--/09
Ina Louise 7/14/09
Bend Home Hardware (Homestyle Hardware?) 7/1/09
Altera Real Estate 6/9/09
Honey 6/7/09
Azura Studio 6/7/09
Mary Jane's 6/1/09
c.c.McKenzie 6/1/09
Velvet 5/28/09
Bella Moda 3/25/09
High Desert Gallery (Bend) 3/25/09
Joolz
Zydeco
900 Wall
Great Outdoor Store
Luxe Home Interiors
Powell's Candy
Dudley's Used Books and Coffee
Goldsmith
Game Domain
Subway Sandwiches
Bend Burger Company
Showcase Hats
Pita Pit
Happy Nails

(List begun, Fall, 2008.)

BUSINESSES LEAVING

Topolino, Wall Street, 1/20/13.
Cozy Lamb, Minnesota Ave., 1/20/13 (moved inside, Bond St.)
Amalia's, Wall Street, 1/5/13.
El Jimador, Wall Street, 9/1412.
The Closet, Minnesota Ave., 9/1/12
Common Table, Oregon Ave., 8/11/12.
Honey Threads, Minnesota Ave., 8/11/12.
Bella Moda, Wall St., 8/11/12.
Giddy Up, Minnesota Ave., 5/10/12
Pottery Lounge, Oregon Ave., 5/17/12.
Boondocks, Newport Ave., 3/27/12
Game Domain, Oregon Ave., 3/27/12.
Toth Gallery, Bond St., 3/27/12.
Letzer's Deli, Franklin Ave., 3/22/12.
Clutch, Minnesota Ave., 3/22/12. (Moving to Tres Jolie).
High Desert Gallery, Minnesota Ave., 3/22/12.
Tart, Bond St., 3/3/12.
El Caporal West, Franklin Ave., 2/24/12
Bo Restobar, Franklin Ave., 2/9/12.
The Lobby, Bond St. , 2/9/12.
Arts Central, Brooks St., 2/7/12.
Typhoon!, Bond St., 2/5/12.
Gatsby's, Minnesota Ave., 2/5/12
The Dog Patch, Minnesota Av. 1/9/12.
Bend Mapping, Bond St., 1/9/12.
Lotus Moon, Brooks St. 1/9/12 (Moving into Tres Jolie)
Bond Street Grill, Bond St., 11/20/12.
Mad Happy Lounge, Brooks St., 10/11.
Azu, Wall St., 10/25/11.
Showcase Hats, Oregon Av., 10/11.
Bourbon St., Minnesota Ave. 10/12/11.
Curiosity Shop, Minnesota Ave., 7/11
Luluemon, Bond St., 8/26, 11.
Shear Illusions, Franklin Ave., 7/11.
Crepe Place, Wall St., 7/11.
Pita Pit, Brooks St. , 6/28/11
Smith and Wade Salon, Minnesota, Av. , 6/3/11.
Perspectives, Minnesota Av., 6/1/11
River Bend Art Gallery, Bond St., 5/5/11.
Donner's Flowers, Wall St. 3/11/11. (**Moved out of downtown**)
Maryjanes, Wall St. , 3/11/11. (new name, Tryst, moved to Franklin.).
Di Lusso, Franklin/Bond, 2/9/11.
Earth Sense Herbs, Penny's Galleria, 1/2/11
Marz Bistro, Minnesota Av., 12/20/10.
The Decoy, Bond St., 12/7/10.
Giuseppe's, Bond St., 12/1/10.
Ina Louise, Minnesota Ave., 11/3/10.
Laughing Girl Studios, 10/21/10
Dolce Vita, Bond St, 10/21/10
Diana's Jewell Box, Minnesota Ave., 10/15/10.
Lola's, Breezeway, 10/8/10.
Oxygen Tattoo, Bond St., 10/3/10.
Great Outdoor Clothing, Wall St., 10/3/10.
Volcano Vineyards, Minnesota Ave., 10/3/10.
Subway Sandwiches, Bond St. 9/2/10.
Old Bend Distillery, Brooks St., 6/19/10.
Staccato, Minnesota Ave. 6/18/10.
Showcase Hats, Minnesota Ave., 6/1/10 (Moved to Oregon Ave., 8/10/11.)
Cork, Oregon Ave., 5/27/10.
Wall Street Gifts, 5/26/10
Microsphere, Wall St. , 5/17/10.
Singing Sparrow, Franklin and Bond, 5/15/10
28, Minnesota Ave. and Bond, 5/13/10.
Glass Symphony, Wall St., 3/25/10
Bend Home Hardware, Minnesota Ave, 2/25/10
Ciao Mambo, Wall St. 2/4/10
***Angel Kisses 1/25/10 (Have moved to 'Honey.')
Ivy Rose Manor 8/20/09
***Downtowner 8/18/09 (moving into the Summit location)
Chocolate e Gateaux 8/16/09
Finders Keepers 8/15/09
Colourstone 7/25/09
Periwinkle 6/--/09
***Tangerine 7/21/09 (Got word, they are moving across the street.)
Micheal Cassidy Gallery 6/15/09
St. Claire Coffee 6/15/09
Luxe Home Interiors 6/4/09
Treefort 5/8/09
Blue 5/2/09
***Volcano Tasting Room 4/28/09** Moved to Minnesota Ave.
Habit 4/16/09
Mountain Comfort 4/14/09
Tetherow Property 4/11/09
Blue Moon Marketplace 3/25/09
Plenty 3/25/09
Downtown Doggie 3/25/09
***King of Sole (became Mary Janes)**
Santee Alley
Bistro Corlise
Made in Hawaii
EnVogue
Stewart Weinmann (leather)
Kebanu Gallery
Pella Doors and Windows
Olive company
Pink Frog
Little Italy
Deep
Merenda's
Volo
***Pomegranate (downtown branch)**
Norwalk
Pronghorn Real Estate office.
Speedshop Deli
Paper Place
Bluefish Bistro

(List begun, Fall, 2008 )

Welcome to the street.

Went in to introduce myself to the new owner of Dudley's and welcome him to the street.

Turns out, when he was thinking about buying the store, he had come in and talked to me.  Anyway, he greeted me with friendliness (unlike the previous owner, who acted like I was an alien or something) and we talked about being sure to send customers to each other's store and all in all, I felt good about it.

He seems to be trending toward beefing up the cafe/coffee part of the business, but also showed an awareness of the need for good books. 

Over the years, I've done this -- gone in, said Hi, I own Pegasus Books, welcome to the street.  Most of the time, they acted kind of -- well, unfriendly.  Not sure why.  Maybe it was my manner, I don't know. 

I think actually it was my manner -- I would come on too strong, or something.  Especially early on, I really got the cold shoulder.  Since all those businesses are gone now, I supposed I should just forget it.

Anyway, eventually, I decided to just take care of my own business. 

It's like one of time-lapse video's where the central spot -- Pegasus Books -- is the same, unmoving year after year, while all the surroundings are a blur.

Life of Pi, with running commentary behind me.

It's probably as useless to complain about people talking in the theater as it is to complain about traffic.  People will talk, people will tailgate.  I take a deep breath these days and endure it.

The last time I got into a confrontation in a movie was with Lord Of The Rings.  Since then, I've just taken my punishment -- sometimes we move, but most often we just try to ignore it.

Went to see Life of Pi, and there were talkers in front and talkers in back.  Linda was bothered by the old  guy in front of us with the deep loud voice who explained the movie to his deaf wife.

I was bothered by the lady behind me who had a running commentary about the book, and would actually anticipate moments before they happened:  talk about spoilers!  And, well -- this was repeated and repeated -- she was a Christian, and this movie was so Christian.

I kind of thought the movie wasn't about Christianity as much as being spiritual, no matter what religion.

So the lady had to professed her love of Christ and also loudly inform the world she had read the book!  (Maybe it was the only book she'd ever read...)

With the movie over, she really goes ballistic -- God and Christ and how much she never thought they could make a movie of the book, and you really should read the book, and oh, God, and the book...

The smug tone was unbearable.  I literally put my fingers in my ears.  Really.

Finally, the credits are over, and we get up and the four old people in front say,  "Wow.  This movie was made by a bunch of foreigners!

I wanted to turn around and say,  "Did you just see the same movie I saw?"

Back to the mainstream.

I'm innocently perusing Reddit when I click a GIF.  It's a chainsaw decapitating a prisoner.

Ouch.  I'm so disbelieving I see it twice.

That's it.  I'm not going back there.  Only curated sites from now on.  Screw that.

I've avoided all these types of things -- terrorist beheadings and such.  I mean, really, screw that.

So I'm a little pissed at how somebody could slip something in like that -- I probably thought I was clicking a cute cat picture or something.

So why would someone do that?  The poster called himself "Stop the Drug War" so he probably thought he was forcing us to face up to the costs.  But really, he's a terrorist himself.  I don't need to see more pictures of the holocaust to be against the holocaust.  I stopped looking at them 30 years ago, but they are still indelible in my mind.   Screw that.

Back to the mainstream.

Cellphones create behavior...

Found myself talking on my cellphone while being rung up at the 7-11. 

My only excuse being -- I never get phone calls.  So I automatically answered it.  It was telling me there flu shots available on a certain day and time.  No one around me seemed perturbed by my talking, and I wasn't holding up the line.

But still....

The Sawyers, true to form.

It seems to me that the Sawyers handled their legal defense the same way they handled their business, probably the same way they handled their lives.  God help everyone around them.

Delay, lie, obfuscate --  repeat, as many time as you can get away with.  Live as comfortably as possible on others people's money and patience, never admit wrong doing, delay, lie, obfuscate...

Delay justice, make victims wait and suffer while you go blithely about your sordid lives isn't much different than delaying payments, making the victims wait and suffer while you go blithely about your sordid lives.

It was painful to watch all the bullshit excuses they put up for not facing their day of reckoning. 

Right up to the very last day.

Let's get this show on the road!

So all three books and all three book covers are up in the air in various stages of resolution and I'm trying to align them all and I get to see my tech guy one a week for about 2 hours and if anything holds up anything else, it doesn't happen.

That's the problem with trying to be Mickey Rooney and Judy Garland and "Let's put on a show!"

I was needing to get the photoshop file of the Deviltree from Martha and I explained it this way:

"We're trying to get the show on the road, but the third act needs reworking, the love song is a clunker, the scenery keeps falling over, and the lead actor is an asshole.  Heh."

Anyway, I'll get the play going some day.

Meanwhile, I'm just going to concentrate on my Vampire story.

Observing and wishing for are two different things.

So a guy comes in around closing time, and proceeds to tell one of my employees what an asshole I am.

O.K.  Fair enough.

He then proceeds to tell my employee that a competitor of mine from about 7 year ago had hoped to "put me out of business."

I can't tell you how many times I've heard that over the years.

Thing is, that response to me being an asshole, or rude, or not doing what they wanted, or not having the stuff they wanted, or being too high priced, or whatever -- is so disproportional to the crime.

All of those things are pretty small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. 

By all means, don't shop with me.  There are a couple of small businesses I've had run ins with here in town, but I've never mentioned their names here.  I've never wished their demise.  I just don't go there anymore.  (Interesting, they seem to be going strong...)

Wishing me to "go out of business?"  That could mean me going broke. Who knows?  Losing my wife, my house, my mind, any number of dire circumstances  Me not having play space for Magic?  Oh, well.  Right?

Wishing for someone to go out of business -- that's a harsh thing to wish on someone because I didn't have what you wanted at the price you wanted, or whatever.

Just saying.

The other thing is -- that expression seems to be an almost dead giveaway that the person wishing it has the wrong priorities.  Worry about your own business.  Worry about your overhead and your product costs and stuff like that.  Don't be focusing on someone else's business.

Besides that, there is almost no reason that businesses can't co-exist.  No reason, for instance, that you have to take a "Him" versus "Me" attitude, no reason to take sides.

I suppose this is an object lesson for me, when it comes to chainstores. While I might not have much sympathy for the business model, I certainly have for the employees -- even management, I suppose.  Since I'm management.

Observing and wishing for are two different things, I suppose.  I hope.

Root canal day.

Apparently it's a four pronger -- or rooter -- or something.  I've been passed onto the specialist.

I'm terrified.

Arggghh. 

Not to mention, it's expensive as Hell.

I've been taking antibiotics for eight days now, and the infection seems at about the same intensity. I believe it's a bad thing to let the infection remain, so I'll be asking for a continuation or a megadose or something.

But what do I know?

I'm hoping I'll be able to come back and do some writing.  Novocaine makes me very shaky -- I'm a little allergic or something.  I refuse to be put under for anything but major surgery.

What did prehistoric man do?  Just die?  From a toothache?

Weird thing about this, is it hasn't hurt a bit.  Don't think that's ever happened before.

I sense that the medical system is out there just waiting to suck us dry.  Even with insurance. 

I have no dental insurance.  Which seems like a bit of flaw.  But -- even the medical insurance is there for something major, I've got a 5,000.00 deductible so it's never actually been used.  The government had me sweating there for awhile about extending Medicare just about the time I would have reached it. 

Arggghh.

Gold Globs.

The way to watch the Gold Globs is to dvr it.  Takes half the time.

The show succeeded in making me want to watch Silver Linings Playbook, and reinterested in watching Life of Pi.  And regret missing Moonrise Kingdom.

If I go to Zero Dark Thirty, like I intend, that will be about 10 films I've seen that are still in the theaters.  A modern record.  (Was a time when I saw every movie -- what can I say, I was a lonely guy, read tons of books too.)

Oh, and what's the point of coming out, if you don't really come out?  Jodie?  Yes, she was pretty eloquent, but that was a little weird. 


Django Unchained was great fun.  As I mentioned on twitter I was envious of the 'beard.'  That was one great beard.

Watching it and then watching Downton Abbey was interesting.  I kept thinking -- "economic slaves."
The story line of having to settle for a smaller place -- which was a palace -- made the whole thing kind of ridiculous.  I'm so over Downton Abbey.  I'll watch it, but I'm kind of doubting the whole premise.

The Good Wife, on the other hand, just gets better and better.  They have this side character, a sort of ditzy lawyer who they turn to when they need to be defended by a lawyer, who is the best character on T.V.  She needs a spin off.  At first you think the ditzyness is an act, to make people underestimate her -- then you realize she really is very strange -- but people underestimate her.   She's a killer lawyer.

Great stuff.

I didn't ask for this story.

It looks like my vampire story is going to become a real book.  I've got a rough outline of where I think its going and an idea of the themes I want to explore.

Terrible strategic planning.  I'm all over the map with my writing.  I'd be better off if I could write one kind of story and keep writing that kind of story.

But as I've mentioned before, my subconscious writes what my subconscious wants to write.  That may sound silly, but I'm telling you, it isn't a conscious decision.  Thing is, if I write at quickly, even if it turns out to be a wrong move, I've gotten it out of the way. Agonizing over WHAT to write for two or three months, when I could actually be writing something during that same timespan, seems crazy to me now.

Meanwhile, I'm in the unusual position of feeling like I need to...slow... my... writing... down.  Pace myself.

Normally, I want to write while the writing is hot, but from now on,  I want to keep the well full.

I've mentioned before that I used to have this sense of a "well" of water (creativity) that fills up and starts to overflow.  As long as the well is full, I can keep dipping into it.  But if the well is depleted, I need to back off.  This image has come back to me.  I'm back to measuring the well every day.

I think it's a matter of trusting the subconscious to come up with the story.  The solutions to problems.  For instance, I'm never going to worry about a story being long enough again -- I'm never going to try to come up with "filler."

This newest effort, I'm more or less letting it come to me.  I'm not pushing it.  At the same time, though, I am trying to apply my critical brain so that I don't go too far astray.

A tricky balance -- the creative and the critical at the same time.

For this vampire story, I decided on a theme that is a little on the downer side.  I mean, I really like it.  A vampire with a conscience.  But that alone would not make a satisfying story.

So I decided what I needed was a second, nastier vampire who can supply the story with all the thrills and chills it needs.

That's what I mean by using the critical part. What is this story missing, that I'd want if I was reading it?

I'm hoping I can write this more in the Freedy mode than in the Nearly Human mode.  I think it's probably more effective to keep producing rather than struggle with the same story over and over again.

Unexpected story, though.